Winner of Shipwreck SF, San Francisco’s premier literary erotic fan fiction event.

Mary Poppins landed outside the Banks residence. The front door swung open and there stood two children. One of them, doesn’t matter which, asked Mary if she could mend their kite. Mary obliged, she snapped her fingers, and it was fixed. The children cheered, grabbed the kite string, and woosh! Off they flew into the evening sky.

Mrs. Banks hurried down the stairs.

“Who are you?” She asked.

“I’m Mary”

“And what have you done with my children?”

“I shot them into the sky”

Mrs. Banks paused.

“Ok…

Emotional Rollercoaster

Runaway Mind Train

Spinning Thoughts

Tunnel Of Self-Hate

Cry Me A Lazy River

Going Mad Tea Party

Epcot

Need Some Space Mountain

House Of Mirrors To Hold Up To Yourself

It’s A Small World When You Don’t Leave The Apartment

The Wizarding World Of Just You And Your Thoughts

Haunted House Of Friends You’ve Ghosted Because It’s Hard To Get Back To People When Your Head Is A Fog Of Sadness

Tower Of Trauma

The Hall Of Presidents

It never used to be this way. I remember when people used me for random good shit — grocery lists, half-baked movie ideas, a recommendation for a book you’ll never read, pretending to write down a recommendation for a book you’ll never read, and, of course, a thing someone said once.

I used to be an intimate, private app. It was just you and me, remember? Sometimes you’d scroll through me and think “what was I thinking?” Like when you have to decipher all those one-word entries and you’d ask yourself, why does it say “May 16th” with no additional…

I gave birth to my daughter three weeks ago, but she doesn’t feel like my daughter.

I don’t feel like a mum, I feel like some person who loves this baby so much.

Like an overly zealous babysitter.

Like I’m looking after her until her real mum turns up.

People say, “the moment a child is born, the mother is also” to which I say, “lol ok”

I was not reborn as a mother, but I’m also not who I was before.

I am in-between selves right now.

People ask “how does it feel to be a mum?” I tell…

INT. AMANDA’S BEDROOM. DAY

Tight on AMANDA, thirties, depressed, sitting on her bed. She smells her armpits.

AMANDA:
Oh yeah, I’d say I’ve hit the five day mark.

TITLE CARD:
Meet Your New Instructor

AMANDA:
I’m completely numb from the mind down.

TITLE CARD:
In her first ever online class.

AMANDA:
You want to know what I’ve “done” today?HAHAHAHAAHAHAHAHAHAHAHHA lol, that’s good, that’s really good.

TITLE CARD:
Professional Depressed Person. Amanda Rosenberg.

AMANDA:
People think there’s only one way to be depressed, and I’m here to tell you… nuh-uh.

TITLE CARD:
Looking happy in public.
Isolating yourself for weeks at a…

• Not returning your calls, texts, or DM’s but still posting online…a lot.
• Agreeing to meet up then bailing last minute because I have <insert fake yet serious-sounding physical ailment>.
• Taking medication and not being racist.
• Leaving your party without saying goodbye to anyone, unless there’s a pet, in which case I will say goodbye to the pet then leave.
• Not taking medication and not being racist.
• Not turning up to your party at all and blaming it on a <insert fake yet serious-sounding physical ailment>.
• Taking a flippant comment you made to heart and thinking about it non-stop so I…

If you write about or discuss your mental illness online, chances are you’ve been on the receiving end of a range of comments and reactions. Everything from your classic, “depression isn’t real” to “snap out of it” to the more simplistic, “die.” However, you’ve probably had a ton of lovely, supportive messages too. The internet has helped millions of people connect on tough subjects like mental health and I love it for that. The mix of ignorant, hurtful, validating and awesome comments are just the nature of online. However, when it comes to talking about mental illness, there’s a relatively…

• A two line email containing five parentheses.
• Title for an empty google doc.
• A “breezy” DM to an ex.
• Filling out the “any other comments?” in an online form.
• A text with full grammar and punctuation.
• Nothing.
• Any tweet.
• Pros and cons list of what it would be like to date me.
• An entire novel…in a group chat.
• That pointy “S” you know the one.
• Reading.
• One bullet of a bullet journal.
• “Happy Birthday!” on three Facebook’s acquaintances’s walls.
• “lmaaooo” in a couple of group chats where you haven’t been so active.
• A to-do list that just has “writing” on it.
• Repeated searches for synonyms for “said”.
• Intriguing yet nonsensical sentences in my notes app.
• An invoice.
• That thing where you pretend to type really fast like this: njkgrwngndhfiouwhfildahskufjdbshkufhdskfbhkdshfuilehwioflhailhfl.
• Playing Scrabble which is still writing if you think about it.
• #AmWriting