My Wife Answers 22 Questions about Female Masturbation and How She Likes to “Jill Off”
She opens way up about self-pleasure and shares when she first did it, why she does it and more.
Turns out Q&A’s with Lauren are popular! In this Q&A, Lauren opens up about a subject few people are comfortable discussing: Masturbation. Note: Some of her answers came from this post, which she agreed to including in a few of her answers.
Enjoy!
First, your favorite euphemism for female masturbation?
Easy. Jillin off!
How do you feel about masturbation…“jillin off” as you call it?
How do I feel about it? Well, I like to do it. It feels really good, and I think it’s an important part of my sexuality (and always has been). It’s a healthy form of sexual expression and a healthy way to experience sexual pleasure. Sexual pleasure is a fundamental human need, and masturbation allows for deep sexual pleasure — so I think my feelings about it are very positive, and I think everyone should masturbate. Some of my attitude toward self-pleasure could come from my European upbringing.
Do you think everyone masturbates?
Pretty much, yes.
How often do you masturbate?
A few times per week. Sometimes more, sometimes less.
Why do you masturbate?
A few reasons…. First, as I mentioned, sexual pleasure is a fundamental human need and masturbation is a healthy way to experience it. That’s the main reason I do it, and it’s probably why you do it, too.
I also really enjoy the experience of exploring my body. Even though I’m in my late 40s and little about my body surprises me, I still enjoy sexually exploring and touching myself.
Plus, self-pleasure is a great way to find some relaxation after a hectic day or night at work if you or Piper aren’t available for sex.
Also, masturbation is a primary method I use to achieve orgasm during sex since I require clitoral stimulation for that. The vast majority of women do not orgasm from penetration alone, even though penetration feels really good — they need clitoral stimulation.
Finally, I love to occasionally masturbate with you and Piper. It’s a fun thing to do together, don’t you think?
It is fun doing it together! At what age did you first masturbate and why did you do it?
I was probably 13. My body was changing — I was growing breasts, I started to see curves and then I had hair on my vagina. At my mother’s urging, I began shaving my underarms and my legs and then I had this massive bush down there that intrigued me.
One day, I got very curious about my developing breasts and played with them. I found that touching and pinching my nipples felt quite good. From doing that, I felt a wetness between my legs and that got me curious. I explored my vulva like I’d never explored it before — sliding my fingers inside me. I even tasted myself. Although it was all kind of confusing at first — mostly because I was thinking about other girls (more on that below)— I quickly found that massaging my clitoris felt incredible, and I didn’t stop. I soon felt this amazing tingling, warmth and wave of pleasure come over me. It was an orgasm and I’d never felt better in my life. It was then that I fell in love with pleasuring myself.
You mentioned “massive bush.” You adopted the 100%-bald-down-there look nearly 25 years ago and have never gone back. Whether with masturbation or sex, has a bald pussy had an impact on your pleasure?
Yes. It’s increased the pleasure and I don’t really know why. Plus, I think it’s just a sexier look, and I love the smoothness, too. That’s why most women these days go with that look.
What’s your favorite way to self-pleasure in terms of bodily positioning, techniques, etc.?
When I self-pleasure, sometimes I’m on my back with my legs spread. But how I really enjoy it is by getting into a kind of doggy-style position, reaching between my legs and pleasuring myself that way. It’s hard to describe but it just feels so good and naughty in that position, which also happens to be my favorite position for sex.
Anyway, I sometimes use my fingers but typically I use my wand vibrator or vibrating dildo with clit stimulator. I do love to penetrate with my fingers or whatever device I’m using but ultimately my greatest pleasure comes down to clitoral stimulation — that’s how I orgasm.
How do you use your toys?
If it’s my wand vibrator, usually I just run it on and around my clitoris, which feels so good.
If it’s my vibrating dildo, I love to insert it and kind of move it in and out of me, stroking my G-spot, while keeping the clit stimulator in place. Sounds harder than it really is —as you know from experience, it’s quite easy to move it in and out while keeping the clit stimulator in place.
If I can get G-spot and clit stimulation at the same time, my pleasure is so wonderful. So you know, darling, in doggy-style, you always hit my G-spot while I take care of my clit, and it feels even better than when I’m by myself.
Ever get anal by yourself?
Yes. I enjoy using an anal plug when I masturbate (and during sex with you), but an anal plug is more for increasing pleasure — it doesn’t take the place of my vibrator or fingers.
Anal stimulation and penetration, including anal sex, feels so good and I wish sex acts involving that part of the body weren’t so stigmatized.
By the way, tell the reader where the G-Spot is?
It’s a few inches inside the vagina and on the upper wall — kind of a spongy spot. Just stroke it repeatedly and it feels so amazing. Reverse cowgirl position is wonderful for G-spot sex. Doggy-style, too.
When did you get your first sex toy for self-pleasure?
When I was much younger, I found my mom’s vibrator and she also had a dildo that was shockingly huge. I knew what they were and what my mom used them for. It was then that I learned self-pleasure was normal and what I was doing was okay since mom did it, too.
I was 18 or 19 and in college when I got my first vibrator — it was to enhance self-pleasure. I bought it from a sex shop not far from campus — cost me like $20, which was a lot in those days. I used it every so often. Vibrators have come a long way since then!
When I was in college, my sister once asked me if I had a vibrator and I said yes. She then got one, too.
Do you really think you ruptured your hymen with a dildo? Tell us about that.
When I was early in my self-realization of my bisexuality, I actually masturbated with a few other girls and had sex with one of them (and enjoyed it). One of the girls had a dildo and she let me use it on myself. It was huge and I was kind of scared putting it inside me. I think from that dildo my hymen was ruptured, which, when I look back on it, is pretty crazy. It was then that I really wanted to have sex with a boy because the dildo felt so good inside me.
How soon afterward did you lose your virginity?
Depends on how you define virginity. I had sex with girls before I ever had sex with a boy. If you’re referring to boys, that happened about a year after the dildo/hymen episode.
What was it like masturbating with other girls?
It was confusing but also really exciting. Confusing because I didn’t know what to make of my attraction to other girls, but exciting because it’s just what I desired. Plus, I was so young when all of this started happening. But then when it went to the next step — having sex with another girl — I knew this was who I was and I’ve never looked back. I’m a bisexual woman and proud of it.
Do you think about anything when you masturbate? If so, what?
When I was a girl, I fantasized about lots of things, including other girls, which confused me at the time because in those years being anything but hetero was not really accepted. But I think masturbating over time helped me work through, embrace and ultimately live my bisexual desires — a good thing.
Anyway, I think about you and Piper. I fantasize, too. But most of the time I just enjoy my own body and that’s enough.
Ever watched porn while you self-pleasure? If yes, what kind of porn and anyone in particular you like?
Yes. Sometimes I watch it. Usually I watch girl/girl because I love the sensuousness, sexiness and authenticity of it. I love Lilu Moon, as you know — she likes it the way I like it. I also enjoy guy/girl.
You already know this but your readers may not: I do now and then enjoy very hardcore porn. I’m not a prude, and I think more women than some might speculate enjoy watching hardcore porn.
Over the years, how has masturbation stayed the same and changed for you?
What’s changed. Let’s bullet it out, shall we?
- I do it less now than I used to do it, like in college when I did it almost daily. That’s because we have such an active sex life as a couple and through our [swinger] lifestyle. That said, even though we have sex pretty much every day, I still self-pleasure by myself a few times per week.
- My techniques have changed. When I was much younger, I laid there and used my fingers. Then, when I got a vibrator when I was 19, that’s all I used unless I was in a setting where I had to be super quiet — then I’d use my fingers. These days, as I already mentioned, my vibrating dildo with clit stimulator is my go-to and I like to get into what you’d call doggy-style position.
- It’s not something I hide. It’s much more integrated into our sex life than when I was a girl and did it in secret, if that makes sense.
What’s the same: It feels as good now, if not better, than when I was younger. I love to explore my body and make myself feel sexual pleasure.
How long does it take you to orgasm when you masturbate?
Believe it or not, while I always orgasm when I self-pleasure (sometimes back-to-back), orgasm isn’t the only goal. I know that’s hard for a guy to understand! I love to explore my body and get in a deep state of sexual pleasure. Typically, if I have time to do it the way I most enjoy, I orgasm in 15–20 minutes and then I can orgasm again 2–3 minutes later. If I have limited time, I can pretty easily orgasm in 5–6 minutes.
Do you ever get horny and just have to masturbate?
Yes. Women get horny, silly.
Do women ever talk with each other about self-pleasuring?
Women talk, yes, but I don’t recall any recent conversation with my friends about jillin’ off. We do occasionally joke about sex toys and who likes what new toy they got and why. The vast majority of women have at least one vibrator and some also have dildos.
When I was in college, I do remember it being a common joke that if you walked the full length of the hallway in our dorm at any given time, you’d hear buzzing sounds behind the room doors. Kind of true!
Last question: The stage of your life that you masturbated the most, and how often?
Probably between the ages of 18–25. Easily daily.
Lauren, thanks for speaking so honestly about such a personal topic!
