Reader Question: Doesn’t It Affect You Watching Lauren Get Fucked by Other Guys and Gals?
It’s about communication, communication and communication. And don’t forget: She’s watching me fuck all kinds of women, too.
Question: Your articles are sexy and hot, but doesn’t it affect you to see your wife with other guys (and girls), like the guy who recently fucked her in her ass? That would affect me if it’s my wife.
My response: Ah, you’re referring to my story about James fucking Lauren in her ass. Also note that, while James was throttling Lauren’s ass, I was anally fucking his wife, Ali.
But you raise a great point: Why wouldn’t it affect me to see Lauren get fucked in her ass by another husband, suck cocks other than mine, get tag-teamed by two other husbands, hotwife with other couples, take a guy’s load on her face, on her tits or down her throat, etc. She’s even been “gang banged” a few times (as have basically all the wives in our circles). I understand what you’re getting at, but also understand this: I’m doing the same things with their wives.
Here’s the thing: We humans are complex beings when it comes to sexual needs and desires. Life might be easier if our needs and desires were simple and even consistent. But they rarely are. There are three aspects to consider when it comes to Lauren and me and our success to date in navigating our unconventional, non-monogamous, swinger lifestyle:
Love
We are deeply in love and put our love as husband and wife and our responsibility as committed spouses and parents before all else. We make time for ourselves and have an agreement that all that happens with others is secondary to what we share as a couple and family. It ALL starts with love.
Sexual Orientation
Lauren is a bisexual woman who wants to authentically live out her bisexuality. She is sexually attracted to women and men and has been bisexual since she was a girl. When I decided to accept her bisexuality and what it meant to our relationship and ultimately marriage (that we would not be monogamous), Lauren welcomed me into the bed with her lovers because she wanted me to be a part of her experiences with other women.
Over time, her lovers have become our lovers and we expanded into swinging. Through it all, we have had sexual experiences that most only dream and fantasize about.
Rules of Engagement
We enjoy the “swinger” lifestyle. Swinging and a healthy, loving and intimate marriage can absolutely go hand-in-hand when there are ground rules. Swinging and strong marriage are not mutually exclusive. We have known couples whose marriages crumbled as a result of the lifestyle, mostly because it devolved into an open marriage (which we do not have), but they were probably on the rocks to begin with. For us, swinging is about sexual expression and group sexual experiences, some of them wildly kinky; it’s not about intimacy and it’s definitely not about love. Intimacy and love are what Lauren and I share together as husband and wife and occasionally with our female lovers.
On swinging, something that Lauren and I both believe to be true: What we do with others most people in marriages fantasize about but never share with their spouse. Or, they live their fantasies by cheating. Nothing we do is a secret. We live this lifestyle together — spouse-swapping, hotwifing and hot-husbanding, what you might call “orgies” — and we’ve enjoyed it and the hundreds of couples and lovers we’ve been with (and counting).
All that said, are there times when I may not like what I see when we’re with other couples? Yes. Lauren would also answer in the affirmative if asked that question about me. When I see something that bothers me, I let Lauren know or she lets me know and we address it as a couple so we can come to an understanding and, if necessary, agree that it never happens again.
Example: A few years ago at a sex party, Lauren seemed particularly focused on a guy she was blowing. She was working him over and using all of her cock-sucking skills to get him off. In essence, she looked to be in love with his dick. Meantime, she was getting fucked by me. But she seemed more focused on him.
When he was about to cum, she stuck out her tongue and, with a smile on her face, invited him to ejaculate in her mouth and on her face, which he did. I couldn’t specifically state why but it all bothered me. She seemed to have crossed the line in wanting him more than me to the point that I felt ignored. We talked about it and she realized she’d crossed a line, as I have a few times over the years, and we’ve since moved on and learned from the situation.
So, it didn’t bother me that James fucked my wife in her ass because we agreed to it and I also fucked his wife in her ass. So long as Lauren and I are on the same page, she’s being treated with respect by other guys and gals she’s having sex with, and I’m also treating other women with respect, we can navigate almost any situation.
