Non-Negotiables — Discipline by Design

9 min readApr 1, 2024

A Simple Path From Aspirations To Achievements

The world around us is designed to keep us distracted. This much should be clear. Our attention, arguably the most valuable commodity that exists, is being sapped by the endless supply of entertainment and cheap dopamine.

Even if you have the best intentions, even if you want to pursue an interest, even if you say you really want to work hard on something, it seems impossible to put in serious effort regularly, over a significant period of time.

It is getting harder and harder to concentrate. It is getting harder and harder to practice kaidzen — an approach involving consistent work to achieve incremental improvements. It is getting harder and harder to build momentum and maintain forward motion.

You can’t just count on willpower. You can’t wait for inspiration to strike. You need to be on the lookout for methods to reduce the cognitive load. Typical recommendations on this include breaking the complex task into smaller tasks, simplifying the process, automating, and establishing a routine. In this article, I want to discuss a simple yet highly effective method.

Enter Non-Negotiables.

Over the years, this concept has moved higher and higher in my hierarchy of methods to improve consistency and score wins. It has the least complexity for the most impact.

The concept is simple — you have a few things you aim to do EVERY DAY. It is non-negotiable. You can cancel, delay, or avoid anything else, but not these things. It is simple but not easy.

Why are non-negotiables so effective?

It is simple — you don’t need to overthink it. Just get it done. Simplify your decision-making. Get these done, then sure, get creative.
It is a system. And it is a principle.
It is an anchor, keeping you focused on the path toward your objective, regardless of what life throws at you.
It ensures continuous forward motion.
It aligns your daily actions with your stated values and life philosophy.
It is a regular reminder of what is important to you. It helps avoid sidelining your priorities.
It provides structure and clarity, reducing anxiety. You are clear about what you expect of yourself.
It sets boundaries so you can more comfortably say no to other things.
It is building trust in your ability to follow through, to show up, and to put in consistent effort.
It is focusing on the long term. The results won’t be seen soon, only over time. But you know you are on track.
It is how we improve self-control. Are you having one of those days with low energy? Perhaps self-doubt? Or lack of motivation? Or maybe you are simply in a bad mood? You don’t need motivation. Clarity beats motivation every time. You know what you need to get done. Focus on your non-negotiables.

As James Clear puts it, we tell the world and ourselves who we are and cast a vote for the kind of person we want to be.

Remember, everyone has 24 hours a day. It is what you do in that time that counts.

Think about Work Ethic. I always wonder why some people have it, and many don’t. People think that you can switch it on and off. I’m afraid that’s not how it works. It takes a lot of work to get to a point where others will say about you — this person has a strong work ethic. It takes time and effort. You have to earn it. You can’t just conjure it out of thin air. You can’t think, feel, or will it into existence. Non-negotiables are one way to build a strong work ethic.

Is this the same as a ritual?—You might ask. Not exactly. If it works for you to have a fixed time to complete your non-negotiables, that is fine. But the point is to make sure they are done. Morning, evening, different times each day — that is not so important. I recognize that routines don’t work for everyone.

How to choose your non-negotiables?

You can’t just randomly pick things. You need an overarching purpose. What are you trying to do long-term? Get healthier? Learn a language? Play a musical instrument? Whatever it is, break it down to a small daily component — what do you need to do every day to get progressively better at it?

Select up to 3 tasks that can be completed within a reasonable time frame. My recommendation is to include something involving physical movement and something involving learning.

Here are my 3 non-negotiables for 2024:

Read a page of the Daily Stoic in Spanish. This is a tiny task, but it helps me do something that benefits my Spanish study every day.
Read at least 50–100 pages a day (fiction or non-fiction). I love reading, and approach this systematically. I always have a reading list and a stack of books waiting to be read — an anti-library to use Nassim Nicholas Taleb’s term. Here is more if you want to understand this concept better.
Exercise (to an extent possible, daily). This can be a Brazilian jiu-jitsu session, a kettlebell workout, calisthenics, swimming, sprinting, or powerlifting. It can be difficult to exercise every day, so my overall target is to exercise at least six days a week, preferably 320 days this year (I did 317 in 2023).

Of course, there are other things I do, but everything else is different. I can play piano a day or two a week and then not at all. I can do a focused Spanish study for a few weeks but then do much less right after. The non-negotiables, however, take priority.

These three things allow me to consider my day a win. Even if I have a tough day at work or fail at other things, I know I have scored these three things. If I can get these done early, it is almost like the rest of the day is free, with possibilities for anything else I might want to do. Watch an interesting YouTube video, a movie, or a TV show, listen to a podcast, write, or research something. Rest and relax. Do some gardening. Spend some time with the stray cats and dogs — frequent visitors in front of my house.

To make sure no one misunderstands. My three non-negotiables take me a couple of hours every day. So, none of this is to suggest that you should prioritize, say, reading over an important conversation with your spouse or child. Or a crucial work task. Or calling a plumber or an electrician. Do what’s important. Just don’t tell me you don’t have time or mental space to attend to your interests. As you can see, it is not complicated.

Pick what you think would benefit you most long-term. What are your priorities? What are you trying to improve or develop right now?

Get sunlight in the morning (if you are a Huberman follower)
Journal
Call mom
Write a page (or five, or ten)

You can have “negative” non-negotiables:

Not going to buy any new clothing this year
Not going to use my credit card
Not going to check e-mails/touch my phone first thing in the morning
No sugar or fast food

My non-negotiables are related to learning and health. Yours can be related to career, education, relationships, personal well-being, or anything else.

How to integrate non-negotiables into daily life?

Define them clearly. Not I will do some exercise. But I will do 10 sets of calisthenics involving 15 pushups/15 air squats/15 crunches followed by a 2-minute plunk — this will count as a workout. You can hire a coach who will design a program for you. You can download an app or follow a routine from YouTube. Just know what exactly counts as a completed non-negotiable. Do a little research if you have to, but don’t get bogged down into researching the perfect routine — START DOING.
Start small. If you have never done Brazilian Jiu-Jitsu, don’t plan to practice this martial art daily. Be reasonable. If you rarely read, don’t plan to read 100 pages a day. Start with 20. If you have not been running for years, don’t start with a 5-kilometer run. Do 1. Or a half.
Schedule (If you are the scheduling type, I am not).
Track and Measure. Whether you use an app, a journal, or any other method, keep track of what you do. Don’t trust your brain. Trust your records. Check out my article on this topic here.
Create accountability. Have a training buddy. A family member, a friend, or an online community can help you stay on track. Whether it is exercising, reading, writing, or language learning, my small group of like-minded friends has helped me stay motivated.
Read Atomic Habits by James Clear. Here are my takeaways from this excellent book.

Sometimes, I see recommendations to reward yourself. I don’t know. Knocking tasks down is a reward in itself, I feel. But hey, whatever works for you.

Be aware of the typical excuses your brain will come up with.

I don’t have the time. As Jocko Willink puts it — LIES. If this activity is important to you, you will make time. Everyone has the same amount of time. Many professionals with high-stakes jobs and families regularly find time for their interests, learning, and physical activity. So, cut it out.
There is too much going on right now. I will start later. Please stop it. You can start right away. Not tomorrow. Today. You can’t do 15 push-ups today? You can’t read 20 pages today? You can’t watch a 10-minute instructional on YouTube? Please. Don’t delude yourself into thinking you must allocate 5 hours without distractions to your non-negotiable.
Location is only sometimes appropriate. Are you at home this week? Hit the gym. Too expensive? Go for a run. Are you traveling? Do push-ups in your hotel room. Be flexible in terms of your approach but not in terms of your commitment. Have a plan B. When I read, my preference is to have a physical book. If I don’t have it with me, I can read the electronic version. If I am driving, I can listen to the audiobook.

Remember, obstacles are inevitable. You should get things done, not just when you happen to have a favorable environment. Get things done despite you don’t have one.

Finally, review your non-negotiables periodically. At least a couple of times a year, but NOT too often, like every week. As your interests shift and your circumstances change, your non-negotiables must evolve. Make sure they remain aligned with your goals and values.

Discipline. Work ethic. Embrace the grind. Keep hammering. It is not about slogans. Just take care of the non-negotiables every day. Take control of your growth and personal development.

Here is one recommendation. Check out the routines and non-negotiables of people you look up to or people you find interesting. Here is an example from Tim Ferriss:

“How to avoid depression

Below are three tips that consistently help me. They might seem simplistic, but they keep me from careening too far off the tracks. They are my defense against the abyss. They might help you find your own. Test them, keep your favorites, and use them as a starting point:

1. Go to the gym and move for at least 30 minutes. For me, this is 80% of the battle. When possible, I prefer an actual “How can I help you, sir?” gym to walking or a home-based workout, as the last thing I need is alone time with my head. Somehow, force yourself to be around other humans.

2. Each morning, express heartfelt gratitude to one person you care about or who’s helped or supported you. Text, message, write, or call. Can’t think of anyone? Don’t forget past teachers, classmates, coworkers from early in your career, old bosses, etc.

3. If you can’t seem to make yourself happy, do little things to make other people happy. This is a very effective magic trick. Focus on others instead of yourself. Buy coffee for the person behind you in line (I do this a lot), compliment a stranger, volunteer at a soup kitchen, help a classroom on http://DonorsChoose.org, buy a round of drinks for the line cooks and servers at your favorite restaurant, etc. The little things have a big emotional payback, and guess what? Chances are, at least one person you make smile is on the front lines with you, quietly battling something nearly identical.”

With these three non-negotiables, Tim Ferriss is focusing on a specific objective — to keep depression away. Knowing how Ferriss functions, he probably has multiple other non-negotiables depending on what he is into at any particular point in life.

If you liked this read, check out my home page for articles about philosophy, learning, self-improvement, literature, Brazilian Jiu-Jitsu, and more. Here are some you may be interested in:

Non-Negotiables — Discipline by Design

Written by Rational Badger