3 Essential Job Application Hacks for Stalking Victims: Safely Navigate Your References and Emergency Contacts
Handling Interview Questions, References and Old Contacts Safely
-The Tactical Victim-
It’s a Mindset, a New Way of Life 🔒
I. The Challenges and Concerns
Applying to jobs becomes more challenging when you escape.
All the questions about where you worked, lived and so forth, may send anxiety through your veins.
I can only speak to the threat model I’m familiar with and people I’ve worked with to help.
That said, I know others may be dealing with similar stalking issues and that this post may apply to you too.
II. The Risks and Ways You Could Be Found
A. Your Resume
- Through Your Last Job
The last thing you want is for a phone call to be made and for you stalker/abuser to over hear at your old job,
where your new one is.
My suggestion, change the city or state of the places you worked.
This way they are still easy to speak about but don’t reveal the town you came from.
B. Your Job References
- Through a Reference/Friend
Your stalker/abuser may talk to a friend (whose a job/character reference of yours) and that friend could slip and reveal your new location.
Predatory Actions and Intent
⚠️Your stalker/abuser (if at the worst end of the threat model),
will ask people you know, may know or met, to find you-at your school, on social media, at your work, and more.
My suggestion, is not to tell anyone from your past where you are now or where you work.
How do you handle the reference section?
I will get to that later in the article.
→In the meantime, you may need to get some crappy jobs, that don’t require as much education and paperwork:
-Craigslist Jobs
-Cleaner/Janitor
Jobs Posted on Message Boards in Libraries, Grocery stores
⚠ Email Security and Privacy ⚠
What Email do you give employers?
What information do you include in the signature and email name?
Real Example: More Risk Than You May Think
Small World-2 Degrees of Separation
It’s a small world and you may have had or will have close calls.
Close Call Example:
Last year, I was talking to someone who was hiring and they were from the same small town I was from.
I didn’t apply there!
⚠️Risk:
There was too much risk they could have known my stalker/abuser
or
The new employer could mention to their friends in that country town..my name.
III. Partial Solutions to these and Other Employment Challenges
Handling Job Interviews and their Questions:
Overcoming Fear and Anxiety
Simple Questions Are Not so Simple
Questions such as:
-“Where did you work before?”,
-timelines of when and where you worked,
lead back to where you left.
Option One: Lie about the City/State
Depending on your situation and risk model, you may need to change the city you say you worked in or even the state.
Option Two: Choose Old/Unrelated Jobs and Create a Story
Maybe before you knew your abuser, you worked at a computer store as a manager, and you use that instead of the computer store you were a GM at.
The Challenge:
Getting the Same Pay
→Use an Altered Resume
Since you want a similar pay level, but don’t want to say which store you were the GM at, you could do something like this:
Making it work:
You could say that- you were the GM’s Assistant Manager (at the location where you started as a manager. It’s the location your abuser wouldn't know about/be at or be able to talk to other employees).This way, you can describe alot of the tasks and responsibilities required for a GM position.
You could say that: the GM had you doing most of the same tasks as them, so, you think this GM role, you will be ready for.
- Although you are kind of lying, you’re not misleading in a bad way.
You were a GM before, so, you’re not acting like you’re qualified when you not. - Of course, you will need to adapt and modify it for your situation.
⚠️ A couple of your concerns may be:
- Does your last boss know the danger you’re in?
- Can they be trusted to not say anything if your new employer calls him/her for a refference?
- What if your boss left, or a different one (that doesn’t know your situation) answers when the new job calls?
-
- Will they tell or ask your old co-workers where you now work?
- Will they/or even your trusted boss, accidently slip and mention you moved/your new work place — if they are called as a reference?
If those references and bosses know your stalker/abuser, there is always risk.⚠️
Sadly, people can change too.
Options to Help You in these Situations
I’m hoping that you know your situation with significant certainty.
But in case you don’t,
Which many later learn they weren't as certain as they thought they were.
-I will offer some options that can help take the edge off.They are not perfect, and won’t work every time.
The options May make things a bit easier and safer for you though when they work.
IV. Emergency Contacts
Option A) Choose None
If possible, I always choose “none” and leave it empty.
However, sometimes they require one.
Option B) Fake Emergency Contact and Fake Number
When they require it, I create a fake name that I’ll remember and list a fake number.
Usually the number will be from a state I say I lived in/worked in before.
Fake Number Tips
You can also create a number from a Free VOIP Service*:
-Google Voice (this is better to use as your main number)
-*Text Me App
(it just requires an email address to create a new number.
You can use Mail.com to create one)
My Recommendation:
*use a Text Me app number for your “emergency contact”
Why?
Text me and related apps, are crappy quality for phone calls.
Use Your Google Voice App for real phone calls you make.
-The text me app can receive/make calls and texts, but it’s better for just texts.
Another reason not to use the text me app as your main number:
-When you call using the Text Me App, it will announce that its from that app, which doesn’t sound the best and most credible.
Although google voice announces itself too, there are enough people that use it as their (or maybe your) business number for it to still be ok.
Handling Job References
Try to Prevent getting to this point (possibly) by:
A)
- Acing the interview
Prepare and do your research.
2. Getting a job referral
Start meeting people, see what they do for work, meet someone at local event/venue, that can vouch for you and tell the boss “you’d be great for the job”.
3. Directing the interview discussion
towards certain topics that reduce the chances of them wanting to call for references (I know this last one is vague, but is for you to adapt to your situation)
As you get more jobs, this part will get easier.
Other Ways to Handle Jobs References
Need some time?
Sometimes, there is room to type/write on the form:
“I need to get back to you on my contacts information do to (possibly):
-Your new phone (and you lost the numbers)
-Maybe your reference has a new number/email
- Or anything else you can come up with
Your first couple jobs may have to be crappy Craigslist jobs.
However, those bosses can become your new job references.
Mail.com and Text Me App May help you here for your first job.
I hope your situation isn’t too severe.
If it is, these tips will help.
They are not fool proof or perfect, so keep trying, adapt to different jobs and don’t feel bad.
If it’s for your safety, it’s ok.
Per Professional Social Media
-Don’t use your name for a fb website, Instagram, Twitter/x and so on (please read the article attached to “social media”, as it will go into extensive details for your saftey and security).
-Much like with a Buisiness PayPal account, use a “business name” for them too.
I Don’t have all the answers, but this blog should help you out alot.
Also: *Always look at the settings and options you have, as there are often ways to get around some of the privacy issues that may be of concern.
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Thank you all for your support.
-The Tactical Victim-
It’s a Mindset, a New Way of Life 🔒
