19 for 2019
Intentions for a New Year
2018 was a good year for me. I took risks and now I hope to see the fruit of some of that in 2019. But I’m not going to naively assume that because I’m practicing better alignment with my values and goals that what I want will just magically fall in my lap. I am very aware that where attention goes, energy flows. So, I am setting quite a few intentions for 2019…19 of them to be specific! Here are my 19 goals for 2019:
Rethinking your resolutions
You can see from the wording of my 19 for 2019, that I’m framing these goals first as larger intentions or priorities and then adding behaviors that support those intentions. I hope that by engaging in those behaviors, I will move towards a life feels more congruent with my values and priorities, and ultimately, I will be living more of the life I envision for myself!
Take “Self-Care” for exampe [I know,, I know, insert giant eye roll at mention of this buzzword]. Really though…the whole “self-care isn’t selfish” idea…I still have weird echoes of my fundamentalist upbringing that fly in the face of such a concept…isn’t it always better to serve others first and put yourself last? I am slowly letting go of this and other rigid lines of thinking from my past and have come to accept that you can’t pour from an empty cup or whatever cliché you want to insert here.
I really am the only one who can meet my own needs, love myself, be there for myself all of the time, etc. Furthermore, it is incredibly selfish and unfair to expect others (Justin, friends, family, whomever) to do that for me. They are busy people with important priorities of their own and to assume that caring for me would top their lists is just is making myself real important. So, I’m going to take personal responsibility and maybe, yes, be a little self-indulgent …by taking my own time and energy to practice self-care rather than expecting others to somehow do it for me.
To this end, in 2019, I intend to prioritize:
- self-care through intentional relaxation — by taking rest days for every 3 days of exercising, relaxing after 5 PM, winding down around 8:30 to prioritize sleep, and treating myself to one spa-like treatment per month, like a massage or pedicure, when I want one (sometimes, counterintuitively spa stuff stresses me out! So only if I want it).
- self-care through health & fitness — by trying out swimming as a workout, prioritizing strength training and setting personal records (PRs) in some lifts, and shooting for a pull-up without assistance by end of year
- self-care through health & nutrition — by finishing the program I’ve been following, Deeper State Keto (DSK), strong as I wrap up phase 3, off-board slowly to built my metabolism back up slowly, and then enjoy eating intuitively in Japan during our trip there in April, and by learning more about the gut microbiome to be able to uncover and heal some gut issues I’ve had for a year or so.
I got the idea to reframe my goals or resolutions from this fed and fit podcast episode on “rethinking your resolutions”. I loved that Cassy Joy, the host, acknowledged that we often struggle with our resolutions because we say something like “I’m going to do X every day” and then, if we miss one day, feel like failures and give up. If, instead, we set intentions and then work to prioritize them, it’s possible to “keep” your resolution even if you have an off day, because you’re looking more for a positive trend in the right direction, that over time moves you closer to your goals. It really is more about finding joy in the journey and enjoying progress, not perfection.
Metrics Matter
That said, I did want some metrics because I think they motivate me! So I will be continuing to use a couple of tools to track my “19 for 2019". Here are my main two ways I will track my progress towards my goals this year:
A weekly plan!
As you may know from my days in the classroom and the workshops I’ve given as an educational consultant so far, I’m a big fan of weekly planning. I think it provides a great overview of life a week at a time, allows for reflective record keeping and thinking ahead to plan for the future, and gives you just enough to go on at a time without being overwhelming (you can make a solid plan for a week of lessons in an hour, even if it may take more time to follow-up with documents to prep and photocopy at a later time, or videos to link or whatever). I actually wrote a whole 50,000-word book on the topic during NaNoWriMo in November (which I will be waiting to edit for at least 6 months if at all, see why below).
The same can be done in your personal life! Justin and I have been using a weekly plan to list 2–3 things AM and PM that we will spend our time and energy on for the next 7 days. It works both as a weekly plan for myself and as an accountability measure since he is also using it. In addition to the plan we set a daily reminder to pop up mid-day for a “text-up”. It’s like a “stand up” — a quick meeting where people report out their progress on projects in the software world — made quicker because, as the name suggests, they don’t sit down for it. This tends to make the meeting last more like 5 minutes instead of 50. Mid-day, when our text-up reminder pops up, we text each other both what we’ve accomplished so far that day and what we have left to do before 5.
In the same document as our weekly plan, I’ve also added a table with all of my 19 for 2019 goals along with all the months of the year. Each week when I fill out the plan, I will revisit my 19 for 2019 and make notes on what I’ve done so I can see how I’ve moved towards them (or not) and then be able to course-correct for the week ahead. This will give me 50+ opportunities to pause and reflect on my goals and plan for the week ahead in concrete ways that can move me toward them (e.g. if I find I haven’t made plans with a friend yet, part of my goal to prioritize relationships, I can text someone right then and there to start the process).
Give yourself a gold star!
Finally, each month, I will track my progress as I have for the past 3 months: on a calendar with stickers (you can take the teacher out of the classroom, but she’ll still love school supplies and stickers I guess. 🤷♀️). It’s funny, I’m very fascinated by research on extrinsic (external) and intrinsic (internal) motivation, so when I first saw someone doing this online, I scoffed at the thought of externalizing an internal goal in such a simplistic way, convinced it would backfire.
I’ve found, however, that being able to visually see a streak of my commitment to my goals is quite empowering. The physical act of placing an actual sticker on a physical calendar gives me a little jolt of pleasure each day and builds my confidence in myself (I said I would do X, and look, I did it! Good for me!). I’ve tried using the streaks app in the past for the same purpose, but something about it being digital and sort of hidden away in my iPhone didn’t give me the same feeling. Everybody is different, so play around to see what works for you.
After 3 months of this process, my goals are becoming more realistic and attainable (again: progress, not perfection). And, I actually think this external method is enhancing my internal motivation, because it is self-imposed. It would be different if Justin were setting me goals and withholding the reward of a sticker externally. Since I devised this system, however, and own it, I’m fully bought in. Kind of unexpected, but super fun! Also, who doesn’t love a gold star? And since nobody gives them out to adults (probably for the best, given the research), you may as well celebrate your own progress and give yourself a gold star!
So far, I’ve been prioritizing self-love/gratitude practice, plus one other personal and one fitness goal. For December 2018 it was saying no to something, big or small, and working on 20 push-ups a day with the goal of getting 10 on my toes with good form by end of month. It went really well, and I surprised even myself by accomplishing that last part — 10 solid push-ups on my toes, with good form, pain free, on the 31st! It felt amazing!
My monthly metrics for January 2019 will involve:
- continuing my practice self-love and gratitude daily
- continuing to say “no” to something big or small each day — which aligns well with my first 19 for 2019 goal to say “no” to anything related to teaching, school, or educational consulting for 6 months (something that’s incredibly hard for me since it’s a safe, known domain that is natural to fall back into…but also something I know I need to actively avoid, at least for a while, if I am to truly let myself reset and explore new possibilities that could lie outside of it. If, after 6 months, I still feel incredibly drawn to education…then I’ll know it’s okay to pursue it. Until I experience a solid break from it, however, I am kind of just like an addict, going back for a hit of something I know without recourse, over and over. Only in my, case the drug is school-related cortisol? See? I’m a weirdo and I need to say no for 6 months!)
- working on scapular pulls and chin-up eccentrics (lowering slowly from the top of the move for 5–10 seconds) daily to build strength toward unassisted pull-ups.
While I’ll definitely focus most on the 3 monthly metrics above, my weekly planning and reflection table on my 19 for 2019 will also give me opportunities to track my progress toward other goals at the same time!
That’s it for now — I’ll probably update you in March or so (quarterly?) about my progress toward these 19 goals for 2019! What about you? Do you set goals or intentions or resolutions for the New Year? If so, how do you do it? If not, why not, and how else do you ensure you and making progress toward living the life you want to lead? I’m curious!
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