3 Important Steps to Take When A Loved One Gets Confused:
Supporting Mum with Mild Cognitive Impairment
Have you, or someone you love, shown signs of confusion?
Maybe a medical disorder, such as a urinary tract infection, explained the behaviour once or twice. Perhaps the confusion continues. You have lingering concerns. Or perhaps you accept this as a new ‘normal’ stage?
Our Journey with Mum
It’s been a roller coaster couple of months since late June. Just before I arrived for a weekend stay with Mum, she reported to her doctor concerns about getting lost a couple of times when driving home in local areas.
Mum rang friends and relatives to let them know of her decline in health, - repeating her concern that she was losing ‘her marbles’.
Within days, we had contact from family convinced Mum had Alzheimer’s disease, which her younger sister had had for over 18 months. Their deceased maternal aunt also had Alzheimer’s.
Mum, my siblings and I talked about her cognitive changes openly. While capable of planning for her future, Mum wanted to complete recommended paperwork as soon as possible:
- Enduring Powers of Attorney — appointing my sister and I to make property and financial decisions for her if, and when, needed. Our two younger sisters are substitute Enduring Powers of Attorney.
- Enduring Guardianship — once again appointing my sister and I, naming our other sisters as substitutes, to make health and lifestyle decisions for her, should this be necessary.
- Updating her will.
As the eldest of Mum’s six children with the most flexible schedule, I’d be her main carer if needed.
I switched my focus from writing to supporting my Mum — taking some of the load from my sister who lives close by. It took two months to complete the above paperwork, various medical reviews, tests and follow-up of these and other issues.
Mum’s geriatrician diagnosed Mild Cognitive Impairment on the 19th of July; adamant she didn’t have Alzheimer’s disease. Relieved, we thanked God for the latter, though warned: about 30% with Mild Cognitive Impairment develop Alzheimer’s.
Mum can still drive, though restricted to a 50-kilometre radius of her home in daylight hours because she could work out how to get home when lost without dangerous driving. However, her car blew a cylinder in July, so I drove her to most appointments in July and August. Because Mum lives about ninety minutes from me, and I limit travelling due to chronic fatigue and fibromyalgia, we stayed together most of this time at her place.
I’ll continue an increased focus on supporting Mum, as much as needed, with more regular visits than I could make when focused fully on my writing.
While staying with Mum, I aim to help simplify and improve her physical safety and condition (including daily walking and stretches), her nutrition and how she manages life. I continue to call her daily if she’s alone. I began doing this a few years ago after some unusual decisions, apparently explained by a urinary tract infection.
The Journey Ahead
God only knows what lies ahead of us in this life. Thanks to Him, my Mum’s had time to plan her future in our care, should she no longer be able to care for herself.
Taking the steps above, with legal documentation in place and initial diagnosis, has been a relief for my Mum and family.
This process involves considering sensitive issues. These will vary for each person, family, state (as in Australia), country and region. Online research helped immensely — as did a family medical history.
I pray our story may help you or a loved one.
Your Journey
You, too, can choose to research and discuss options to plan ahead should you or a loved one no longer be capable of doing so in the future. You, too, can feel peace about your future on this earth, even if you’re not capable of making your own decisions.
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Read more of my writing in:
7 Telltale Signs You’re Mentally Strong Enough to Become Your Best Future Self,
3 Important Steps to Take When a Loved One Gets Confused,
11 Practical Tips for Raising Kids Who Make You Proud,
Who or what is missing from your life?
Do you want to live more fully? Read Bible passages while improving your English.