3 Ways to Living Fully Right Now
Can saying ‘thank you’ help you with difficult circumstances such as natural disasters, failing relationships, work and health problems?
Courtney Ackerman, Positive Psychology Program, and Amit Amin, Happier Human list more than 30 scientifically proven benefits of giving thanks, affecting most areas of our lives including our:
- personality
- health
- relationships
- work.
Do you want to say ‘thank you’ right now? You can write down your thanks on my Thank You Guide, which gets straight to the point of this post, with bonus information.
1. SAY ‘THANK YOU’ TO OTHERS
It’s important you share your thanks with others concluded Brenda O’Connell, Deirdre O’Shea and Stephen Gallagher in a recently published randomised controlled trial.
Saying ‘thank you’ helps you make friends!
Lisa Williams & Monica Bartlett‘s scientific study showed if you’re thankful and thoughtful to peers you don’t know, they’re more likely to stay in contact with you. They suggest the phrase “warm thanks” may hold some truth.
Who are you thankful to?
Let them know. If you can’t talk to them, write a note or send a message. To help you record your thanks, use my Thank You Guide.
Be thankful! Improve yourself, your community… and our world!
2. SAY THANK YOU FOR EVERYTHING, EVEN THE WORST
Be thankful for everyone
Thank you, dear reader, for your part in my life — whether you know me through these words only or know me as a family member, friend, spiritual brother or sister, neighbour or colleague.
Be thankful for the best
I thank you for the good you chose in the past and continue to choose.
You encourage me and many more. Whether or not we’ve felt the effects directly, the world is a better place!
Be thankful for the worst
The song ‘Grateful’ contains some great lyrics about being thankful for the worst — written by Diane Eve Warren, sung by Rita Ora. Please note the use of the word ‘hell’ in the third verse may be offensive.
Thankful for abandonment and abuse
Stephanie Fast lived in post-war Korea in the 1950’s, an abandoned biracial child. Lee Strobel in his book, The Case for Grace, tells how she survived all sorts of abuse until her adoption by American missionaries. Now she shares her story and counsels broken young women. She says,
For me, I can honestly say there is no event in my life that I am better without. Why? Because everything in my life brought me to Jesus.
‘Thank You’ for my worst
A few years ago I felt drawn to an uninspiring little book (whereabouts and title unknown). Once I started reading, I knew why. It challenged me deeply: to be thankful for the hardest and worst in my life.
I believed that was my divorce. Immediately I asked God to help me be thankful for this unwanted event. I didn’t ‘feel’ thankful, but began to tearfully thank Him for it anyway. Once I did, I felt a huge release and freedom, which increases as I continue my thanks.
Last year I signed up for a free one-hour phone session with MJB Seminars. Tarryn Michie‘s call helped me understand more about a defining childhood event: perceived abandonment as a two to a four-day-old baby. She challenged me to plan enough time in one sitting to write down 20 benefits from my abandonment.
‘What a massive task!’ I thought.
First I decided to make and eat my late lunch. As I did, I couldn’t stop thinking about what benefits could come from my traumatic separation from Mum. Straight after lunch, I wrote down 21 reasons why I was thankful — so much faster than I expected! Here’s a photo of my reasons.
The worst in my life is helping me become my best
As soon as I began to be thankful, I felt better about this separation. I feel even better over time with continuing thanks. Most times I reflect on this now ( intentionally to forgive any involved in my trauma), I’ve barely any negative response — despite abusive memories associated with my time in the hospital nursery.
I say ‘Thank You’ for bad choices and circumstances of my own or others.
I don’t like these. I’m especially sorry for all I do wrong and don’t want to repeat any of it. Sadly I do. Yet these draw me closer to God, the only One who can completely forgive me. More about this in Part 4 of the series!
Despite the trauma, I’m grateful for what I gained out of such tremendous losses. I had nowhere to go and turned to God to grow through these.
Difficulties give me a chance to learn and grow — an opportunity for loving and living to my fullest! Only because of the worst of times, can I enjoy better times.
I admit, giving thanks for difficulties doesn’t come naturally to me. As I drafted this post, I grappled with bad news. Writing this post reminded me to practice what I encourage you to do.
I prayed with tears and found reasons to be grateful for my bad news. For example, now I know about this, I can begin to deal with it and aim for the best outcome. Opening myself to the emotional pain I felt, sharing this with God and seeking reasons to say thank you, helped me to go on without thinking too much about the news.
The worst in my story helps me to become my best, perhaps not only for me but also for others — especially my children, I hope.
What’s the worst in your life?
Could your worst help you become your best?
Don’t waste the circumstances of your life. Make the most of what you have now. Face your difficulties, be thankful for them and let them be a source of growth for you.
Say thank you for your worst now. At least work towards doing this.
Set aside enough time to record 20 reasons why you’re thankful for your worst. Write these down. You can do this on the second page of my Thank You Guide. Read back over these reasons regularly, with thanks, sharing them with God or others.
Try this. Be amazed how your outlook changes!
Conclusion
Could you be loving and living to your fullest far sooner than you think?
Be thankful for everyone and everything:
- The good you’ve experienced in the past and have in your life now.
- The difficult, because it provides the opportunity to grow — loving and living to your fullest.
How often have you said thank you today? What are you most thankful for now?
Who will you direct your thanks to?
- Family?
- Friends?
- Colleagues?
- God?
Choose to regularly say ‘Thank you’ to others more often, including God in prayer.
Join me and many others who keep a regular, often daily, record of things we’re grateful for. Read a little more about this in my Thank You Guide. Print it out and write what you give thanks for… now… and every day.
How can you make time to record or journal these positives each day? More about this in coming posts.
Here’s to your fullest potential!
Tell us how saying ‘Thank You’ has changed your life. How does the Thank You Guide help you be thankful? Clap, up to 50 times, and share with your network.
Originally published on September 13, 2017 at www.colleengolafshan.com. Read more ways to living fully, whatever your circumstances, in Will You Dare to Hope and Will You Ever Feel Truly Loved?