It comes to you just like that — while feeling disconnected like never before.

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Photo by Aarón Blanco Tejedor on Unsplash

Ever since that evening when I realized that I have two fears in life — having regrets later on and losing my mom — I started reshaping my approach.

I wanted to know. I wanted to check if I was the only one out there dreading this hypothetical feeling of ‘what if’ and ‘if only I did differently’.

Throughout my whole life, I was a person of intense emotions — I simply cannot imagine dealing with daily stuff without pouring my heart out. …

It’s not really our job to teach our parents how to love us.

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Photo by Megan McFadden on Unsplash

So it went like this:

My mom met my dad

They fell in love in a way only teenagers can — they spent sleepless nights of long conversations, whispered hopes about the future, and all those promises that were meant to stay unbroken.

Then he married my mom

She got pregnant shortly after. It all went down from there.

My mother left her husband a month before she was about to give birth

He never bothered asking why — at a heavily intoxicated state all he could think about back then was how to get more bottles of alcohol.

Of course, it wasn’t like that at first.

My father was this shy introvert guy who took every chance he got to spend time with his childhood sweetheart. …

Pun intended.

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Photo by Jason Leung on Unsplash

Have you ever been wondering whether or not you did the right thing by enrolling in this particular field of expertise when applying to college?

Great, so have I.

It’s a scary thought — have I chosen wisely?

Years ago when I was applying to college, I let my heart lead me.

I chose Slavic Linguistics with the clear idea that maybe, just maybe, I might be having trouble finding a decent job to sustain my independent lifestyle.

I could have chosen differently — I could have thrown myself into the world of economics, business, entrepreneurship, science. …

A story about your consciousness attacking your personal development

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Photo by Rostyslav Savchyn on Unsplash

“You just love being miserable.”

This was what a friend of mine told me once. I was outraged — I had just spent an hour revealing my most personal thoughts on life, death, relationships, things that matter, human contact. And there he was, my friend, the one who used to listen to my constant rambling for years, slaughtering me with his insightful honesty.

Did I use to find solace in misery?

Ever since I was a child, I had this idea of things ending. People didn’t get it — while my friends were happy with the things they managed to achieve and the relationships they managed to maintain, there I was, dreadfully anticipating the moment when everything ends. I didn’t believe in things lasting. And surely I didn’t believe I was worthy of having things stick.

Because…well. It ain’t that pretty

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Photo by alan KO on Unsplash

Girls, don’t you just hate all those wrongfully depicted commercials about women on their period? I mean, name one woman who wakes up that happy and ready to jump on her bed while going through those days.

TV commercials and magazines have created this surreal idea of the ‘Morning woman’ — the one who leaps out of bed by the first alarm, squeezes fresh oranges, and has eight almonds for breakfast, because, duh — calories.

I don’t about you, but I’ve never woken up that energized and determined to own the world

For all those ladies out there — stop believing women around the world wake up and start doing cardio right away.

Humor is a strong weapon in dealing with stuff

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Photo by Suad Kamardeen on Unsplash

Up until recently, I’ve always started my day practically the same way.

Coffee, catching up with what’s new, some more coffee.

You know the drill — morning routines usually consist of keeping your mind on the right track. There are plenty of pieces of advice out there, offering guidelines as to how to write in a journal, how to schedule your appointments, how to prioritize your daily tasks.

By all means, all this is essential

It’s true that we are way more productive and willing to work hard if we follow some kind of a plan in our heads — what has to be done today, what is of the highest priority, what do I need to buy from the grocery store to cook that wonderful meal I took a glimpse of in my favorite cooking show. …

You must give up on love to love again.

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Photo by Sasha Freemind on Unsplash

Once you embrace single life, you start to view things from different perspectives.

I truly don’t believe you find love or love finds you.

As the years go by, I have come up with the conclusion that you create love.

Being in love vs. being in a relationship for all the wrong reasons

Being in love with someone is not really possible if you are not in love with yourself first. I refer to establishing inner peace and balance in your life and mental health. That’s, essentially, what I consider being in love with yourself — simply being fine with who you are. And you create all that, it’s an on-going process.

Maintaining a healthy relationship with yourself makes it possible for you to maintain a healthy one with someone else as well. But first, you had to perform a bit of soul-searching, right? Finding what makes you click.

Because sometimes all it takes is to dream big.

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Photo by Luca Bravo on Unsplash

Before a native New Yorker snaps at me, let me explain.

In Bulgaria, my home country, up until a decade ago, the majority of the population had this nailed to the ground idea when it came to career and lifestyle.

You know how it goes — you go to college, you land a mediocre job that pays the rent, you go on a holiday to the seaside once a year and by the time you are 40 you get pretty neurotic.

The majority of people still find this way of living as the only possible out there — perhaps like most people anywhere. …

Grow up and communicate. It’s basic human courtesy.

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Photo by Manuel Meurisse on Unsplash

I was ghosted one and a half times.

You are maybe wondering about ‘the half' part — well, simply put, the second way around I foresaw it and cut the crap on time.

But the most important question stays — what the hell?

How I left my job and started living the life I’ve always wanted

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Photo by Green Chameleon on Unsplash

I will never forget this morning last year.

Nothing was different, yet nothing was quite the same as well.

As I was dealing with tons of paperwork in my office, my boss approached me, stating:

You are not at your best self recently. Why is that?

I was instantly irritated — ever since I started working there — in this Logistics company, I’ve always tried my best when it came to getting the job done. I’ve stayed some extra hours, I’ve been to the office on holidays and yet, I never really felt praised. …


Denitsa Kisimova

Infatuated by words; passionate about life; music junkie; (over)thinker. I write about finding inner peace and establishing a place for yourself in the world.

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