Why willpower works… How to use it and four ways to increase it
Willpower’s effectiveness has taken quite a beating lately.
There’s a study that’s gotten quite a bit of traction, and for good reason. I’ve seen it cited on blogs, articles, and even “The Power of Habit” by Charles Duhigg.
In the study, Researchers seated subjects in a waiting room with a warm plate of cookies. They told one group that they could eat the cookies. They told the other group that under no circumstances were the cookies to be eaten.
After a set period the subjects were then brought in and asked to focus on a specific task that required significant concentration.
The people who had been allowed to eat the cookies did remarkably better than those who did not. The people who did not eat the cookies were forced to use up their willpower and because of it did poorly when their willpower was later called upon to focus.
Researchers have replicated the concepts in this study over and over again.
Willpower is finite.
Willpower is like a muscle; it wears out.
That last statement is where the disconnect is for me. I’ve seen it written repeatedly in books and articles. The truth is that they are right. The part I don’t understand is why there is so little discussion on how to exercise that muscle… or even use it.
Carol Dweck, discusses willpower in her book, “Mindset: The New Psychology of Success”. She examined the famous marshmallow experiment. In this study, children were placed in a room and given a marshmallow. Researchers told the children that if they could wait 15 minutes before eating it, they would get a second marshmallow.
It was a tough test of willpower for young children and as you can imagine, many of them were unable to resist the temptation. Some immediately ate the marshmallow, some held out for a few minutes, and a few made it long enough to receive a second.
What was truly fascinating though was the follow-up. The children who demonstrated superior willpower were more likely to be successful later in life.
Superior willpower equates to an increased likelihood of success.
To use willpower effectively requires knowing how to both use and strengthen it.
How: From willpower to habit
Willpower is the bridge between the trait we know will make us a better person and the habit we want to create.
There are a lot of numbers out there about how long it takes to make something a habit. Thirty days is a number frequently cited.
Ray Dalio believes it’s 18 months. From personal experience, it is definitely longer than 30 days and probably closer to this mark.
The time varies widely by individual, but regardless, it requires a significant amount of time.
Willpower is the tool necessary to make it to the point where something becomes a habit.
From the example above, imagine that you wanted to create the habit of getting up at 5 AM and exercising. You set the cue (alarm, running clothes set out) and you’re ready to start this new habit.
Except when the alarm goes off at 5 AM you hit snooze… and then you hit it again. This is where willpower comes in.
Without willpower, you will never get to the point where the trait you are trying to instill becomes a habit.
Willpower allows you to fight that urge to hit the snooze button, get up, and go run. It allows you to do so long enough, to where this becomes a habit.
Want to be more successful at creating habits? Then strengthen your willpower instead of writing it off.
Strengthening Your Willpower
1. Understand it
The first step is knowing how to use it. When Benjamin P. Hardy says that willpower doesn’t work he’s not saying that it doesn’t have its place.
What he is saying is that willpower is not infinite. That people use it in place of other tools, such as habit replacement, incorrectly and this results in a failure they don’t understand. Using willpower incorrectly is no different than trying to use a screwdriver to hammer a nail.
You might make some headway but eventually it just becomes too difficult and frustrating.
Knowing the purpose of willpower and how to use it allows you to use it at the right time and not use it as a substitute at the wrong time.
2. Exercise it
Will power is like a muscle. It does wear out. The good news is that much like your physical muscles you can exercise and strengthen it.
Almost immediately after I read the study on willpower being finite and that the more we used of it, the less we would have I was faced with a decision to either stick with the healthy way I had been eating or eat a cookie. I ate the cookie. Then four more.
Will power was finite I told myself… eventually, I would give in and eat the cookies anyway, so why not do it now and skip the struggle? Save some of my willpower for other, harder, decisions?
This is the equivalent of going to the gym and standing around chatting with people but never actually working out. Not a good way to get stronger.
I had failed to both understand what the study was saying as well as the opportunity to exercise my will power.
If you want more willpower, take every opportunity to exercise it.
3. Make “pre-decisions”.
One of the best ways to strengthen your ability to successfully use willpower is to make decisions before you are faced with them.
Every Friday I attend a meeting. The director sponsoring the meeting generally brings warm donuts from a local Bakery. I have had one of these donuts in the past and they are incredible. But they do not fit in with how I believe I should eat. Knowing I will be faced with this decision I make it before I ever get to the meeting.
When I arrive at the meeting and see the donuts my decision has already been made. Interestingly, I have done this for so long it has become habit and I no longer am even tempted. My willpower was able to sustain me until I was able to make it a habit.
4. Set your willpower up for success through diet, exercise and sleep.
Exercise: I’m not talking about the mental exercise of your willpower in this case. Physical exercise helps you make better decisions throughout the day. Studies have shown that even exercising once a week can increase your willpower in numerous ways.
Diet: The way you eat matters. The effects that food can have on your cognitive abilities can be tremendous. Eating right also gives you a chance to exercise your willpower.
Sleep: Ever notice that you don’t make your best decisions when you are tired? No one does. It may seem simple but a full night’s sleep strengthens your willpower.
Willpower does work… but it is finite. That doesn’t mean you should write it off. Put the effort in to strengthen and develop it!
Using it to span the gap between where you are, and habit creation (or replacement), is where it becomes incredibly powerful.
Your willpower is stronger than you give it credit for. It’s ok to acknowledge that it is finite but don’t use that as an excuse. Without willpower, you will never reach the point where an act becomes a habit.
Liked the message? Read about lessons learned, handling adversity, the importance of who we friend, lessons for my daughters and personal responsibility.
About the author:
Dan’s passion is taking his experience and helping you apply it to your day-to-day life in order to define and achieve personal success. He has decades of experience as a leader and mentor through his time in the military and law enforcement. Interact with him on twitter @dantruex
