The Need For Community
Part 17 of a Multi-Part Series “Towards Religion and Meaning”
Note: This is a multi-part series, if you haven’t read the previous posts, I highly recommend checking them out to catch-up before proceeding, here.
- Part One: Why I Turned Away From G-d
- Part Two: Declaring My Atheism
- Part Three: The Repugnancy of Religion
- Part Four: The Superficiality And Thoughtlessness of Religion
- Part Five: The Silencing of Religion
- Part Six: It’s Cool To Be An Atheist
- Part Seven: “Culturally Jewish”
- Part Eight: I Am The Seeker
- Part Nine: Stealing Fire
- Part Ten: Phish — The Ultimate Spiritual Experience
- Part 11: Chained to the Loom
- Part 12: Quitting My Job To Pursue My Dream
- Part 13: The Hell of Entrepreneurship
- Part 14: Suffering From Too Much Freedom
- Part 15: Are You Committed?
- Part 16: The Simple Formula For Purpose
While I was certain of my formula for purpose, I found it difficult to spend just a few minutes each day to journal and measure myself against my values and shortcomings. Many people who used my online journal felt the same and would eventually drop off after a few weeks or a month of consistent journaling. And while seeing people dropping off may not have been surprising, it was still discouraging.
Around this time, one of my users had asked me if my journal had been based on ACT (Acceptance and Commitment Training) — a type of therapy used by therapists, counselors, psychologists, coaches, etc… to help people get to accept themselves and get to their next level (whatever that may be). Never having heard of it, I dived in and was enamored by what I saw.
To me, it was a secular form of Buddhism which was heavily-backed by thousands of studies over the past 40 years. So, nothing really new, but the secular aspect would allow it to be much more appealing to my generation which has largely abandoned religion and instead explored spirituality.
As I began to talk to the many practitioners of ACT, the importance of having a mentor / guide throughout the growth process became more and more evident. Living one’s values is hard and can often be difficult in a world where everyone is so unique and varied in their perspective. So, when you can have someone else understand where you’re coming from and support you in living your values, it can be incredibly assuring / validating.
Personally, I faced this difficulty. While I was spending so much time focused on living my own values, I didn’t really have anyone to back me up with where I was headed or focused. Sure, a few friends and I shared some of the same values, but there was nothing for us to really congregate around, as a whole — precluding us from ever really rallying around one another.
After pondering on this for a while, I came to think of it as the diametric opposition of the individual and the community. If someone is living mostly for themselves (as I was), they would be much less wont to joining a community which may possibly disagree with some of their beliefs. And vice versa, the person who is living for a community seldom takes time to truly understand what it is that they want, in life.
After recognizing this as a spectrum, I saw that I was far to one side of it and needed more community in my life. And, serendipitously enough, my buddy would soon invite me to study with his Rabbi.
