I left one addiction and fallen into another and that’s her. Interaction with her happened to be as essential as any other life support system. I was unable to quench it just by texting. I couldn’t even call as She hadn’t given me her number yet. I just leaned on to her so much and these thoughts of fear started kicking-in. What if she is just being friendly? What if she is far away from the zone than I am in our relationship? Am I gliding too fast? With all these doubts, I was in a dire need to meet her.
That was Wednesday, but I couldn’t wait till the weekend. Lucky that our offices are near-by.
Me: “Hey! Shall we meet today in the evening?”
Her: “Today! But where?”
Me: “Shilparamam? you can do some girly shopping as well 😁”
Her: “Hehe! I never felt girly!
Me: “haha! I could see that 😉”
Her: “As we two are girls for our parents, I couldn’t see them struggle for anything, so I grew-up bold, brave, and more like a boy”
Me: “Ooh really! if u r boyish, I m afraid, all my googled techniques to impress a girl go in vain 😕”
Me: “But on a serious note! I shall be like a son to your parents 🙂”
Her: “🙂 I shall save this convo and show you whenever you deviate from what you promised 😋”
Me: “yup, we can have it on a stamp paper 😋”
Her: “Ha ha 😁 nice to have met you 🙂”
Me: “It would be nicer if we can meet today, Please!”
Her: “Ok, 4 ‘o’ Clock?”
Me: “Thanks! Ya sure! Catch you there 😊”
I was late by 15 minutes. She was wearing a parrot green top, but the parrot looked a bit angry that day. She wouldn’t have to say a word, but anger radiates from those big bright eyes of her’s. She didn’t even smile back. I know, I broke a very important rule, to make your girl wait.
Me: “Hey sorry! got a bit delayed!”
Her: “How could you let me wait like this on the road? You know how uncomfortable it feels, with all those staring at you?”
Her eyes were turning red and teary. I understood, it’s not about just those 15 minutes, she was thinking beyond. She was pointing at the utmost responsibility of a husband, to protect her. I bowed my head in guilt and pulled-out a chocolate out of my pocket.
Me: “I had to run back for this, so was the delay”, offered her the chocolate.
I could see the parrot green hulk transform back into a sweet parrot. She threw me a half-smile and we both walked into that park.
Her: “I think we are talking more and getting into comfort zone, because of which we see everything rosy now and would not think much…so..time for us to apply brains..what say?”
Me: “But it’s a good sign that we are feeling comfortable with each other, isn’t it?”
I asked if I could hold her office laptop bag, but she didn’t let me.
Her: “Am I sounding weird?”
Me: “Don’t think too much, everything’ll be fine”
A moment of silence between us. I sensed that talk was getting serious.
Me: “I don’t know any hypnotism. If you are feeling it, it must be from within you”, I just tried to break the silence.
Her: “ha ha..I didn’t mean that way..it’s usual right..you get used to some person so you like everything..there you don’t think whether you really like or not…so..little confused whether I am feeling good as we are getting used to or is it.. real!”,
Her confused sentence formation is really unusual, she never does that normally. She always is right and straight. I see, she was equally tensed. We sat down on a bench facing the pond. She kept her bag in between us.
Me: “Haha! that’s Stockholm syndrome! And it usually takes months to kick-in”
Her: “May be an early syndrome! haha”
I didn’t see that completeness in her laughter that day. As if she was waiting for me to say something she was expecting.
Me: “But don’t try to control, just let those feelings bloom the way they naturally happen”
Her: “Controlling is my blood group!”, She winked.
Me: “Hmm try different this time. Try not to question and just observe”
Me: “This is not physics or chemistry… Feelings r so complicated. Questioning makes them more tangled, like those Maggie noodles.”
Me: “Questioning just spoils the experience, it’s like you are sitting on a beach and questioning why are the tides formed!”
I threw a pebble in the pond. She was observing the ripples. I had just one finishing line.
Me: “Just be open and join me. I shall promise you a Roller-Coaster ride!”
She gave a deep look. God! Her eyes can make all the talk. We silently walked towards the exit.
Me: “So! I made the great Manjoosha wait for me today. One achievement!”
Her: “Heights of positive thinking!”, with a smirk.
Me: “If I earn a lot of money in future, I would build your statue here”, pointing at where she waited.
Her: “A very bad joke!”
And then her cab arrived. I opened the door for her. Cab started and then she did something, that she hasn’t done before. She turned around through the back glass and smiled at me. That’s when I felt, “It’s happening!”.
Everything around felt in slow motion and time was relatively running slow. I couldn’t wait long to text her.
Her: “Not yet! Just half way through! Thanks for the chocolate 🙂”
Me: “Oh I thought we could share n eat ☹️”
Her: “haha! Hey chocolates make you fat!”
Me: “If you say yes, I shall start doing body building 😁”
Her: “haha! Body building! For what!?”
Me: “May be to fight with everyone who stares at you! 😀”
Her: “Not just for me! You can do that for any girl!”
Me: “Ayo no! What if the other girl gets impressed! You know all girls are my sisters except you! 😉”
Her: “You are not leaving any stone unturned to impress me 😀”
Me: “You know I totally fell for you!”
Her: “I see you have become too confident about us!”
Me: “Is that confidence at right level!?”
Her: “No! It’s too high”
She usually says that whenever I cross the line. But that day it unusually woke up all those sleeping snakes of fear and doubt inside me. I couldn’t mock that cheer anymore.
Me: “Then my hopes are too high too! 😐”
I haven’t received reply for few minutes. I could feel by then, she was bearing the entire weight of decision making, as I made myself clear.
Her: “I am feeling guilty about raising your hopes, before anything is decided. Let’s talk some other time. Good night”
To be Continued…And Towards the Summit (The Arranged Love — Part 6)
Originally published at munnuwedsgopal.happyforever.com on February 14, 2018.