How To Improve Your Relationship With Your Mother In Law (How To Win Mother-In-Law’s Heart)
Yes, it is possible to get along with your mother-in-law, and it can also great for you, your family and your marriage!
As everyone know, mothers in law have been the butt of countless jokes and one-liners over the years, probably for as long as marriage has been in existence.
In fact, the often tumultuous relationship between men and women and their mothers in law is cited as one of the number one reasons for problems within a marriage, even more so between women and their husband’s mothers.
Here are just some of the many benefits of getting along with your mother in law and how to make the relationship between the two of you a bit better for everyone’s sake:
*Remember the Children: Getting along with mothers in law is even more important when there are children involved. Not only are children little sponges that absorb everything they see and hear around them, this woman is also their grandmother and they deserve to have a relationship.
Regardless of your personal feelings toward her, never criticize or speak badly about your mother in law in front of your children, or any other members of the family for that matter.
*Lending a Helping Hand: Speaking of children, your mother in law is also the perfect babysitter, someone to help out when you need an extra hand. After all, she raised your spouse didn’t she?
*Financial Assistance. Also, yet another benefit to keeping the relationship between you and your in laws a happy, or at least a civil one, is in your best interest in the event you and your spouse ever need financial assistance.
*A Simple Matter of Respect: After all is said and done, your mother in law does deserve at least some degree of respect, if not for either of your benefit, but for your spouse’s.
Try to see things from her point of view, take the initiative to be pleasant and approachable. Even if your efforts go seemingly unnoticed, you’ll at least know you’re doing the right thing, and that in itself is rewarding and enough to be commended.
Often, just stopping and reminding yourself that your mother in law is a person too, a person with real feelings who has already lived a whole life in another generation before you came into the picture may be enough to put things in perspective.
Allowing the problems with mothers in law, regardless of how insurmountable they may seem, to cause further difficulties in your marriage honestly isn’t beneficial to anyone involved, either now, or in the future.
Many times, families simply need someone to step up and take the high road, be the “better person” and do whatever it takes to make an honest effort toward improving their relationships.
Do it and you and your whole family will be happier for it.
Improving Relationships With Your In-Laws
Relationships take time to adjust whether it’s between friends, lovers, married couples and in-laws. No relationship is perfect because it is natural for it to go through some high and low points.
Marital ties are no exception. It may start on a good note but through the years, it goes through bumps along the way.
Another relationship tied to marriage that also follows the same trend is that between the spouse and his or her in-laws. This is a common problem area which many marriage counselors acknowledge. It does not necessarily follow that if a couple has a positive relationship, their ties with the in-laws will also be the same.
There are couples who find their in-laws a threat to their marriage. This can be attributed to the domineering behavior of the in-laws such as the mother or a sibling or perhaps a very close tie of the other spouse to his family.
However, it can also be the other way around wherein the spouse is the domineering attitude in their marriage that in-laws don’t approve of. As such, this can lead the in-laws to dislike the spouse of their child.
It’s never easy to belong to a new family especially if there are doubts involved. But there are ways to make your in-law relationship a healthy and eventually a fruitful one. This is always possible if you are committed to establishing a good relationship with the family of your spouse.
Tip number one is to know how to get along with the family members. You have to initiate the effort in order to start interacting with them. It won’t hurt to be nice even if you’re worried they might not respond to you. Just stay positive and don’t be discouraged.
If you’d like to be appreciated, then show them respect and be civil. This not only applies to the wives but even to the husbands. It’s a fact that not all people like each other but when you’re the first to take a positive action, it can influence other people to do the same. Respect is earned, remember?
The next step is to always prioritize your very own family. This means your spouse and children. Nobody should be allowed to meddle in your marriage unless physical violence is involved. The decisions you make should be based on you and your spouse’s judgment and not influenced by your in-laws.
In situations where the spouse puts his or her parent or sibling ahead of his partner, resentments are bound to occur. This may lead to depression and a feeling of inferiority. So since you’re already married, make it a point to focus on the family you’ve created above anybody else.
However, should you feel the need to consult a professional, don’t hesitate to go through marriage and family counseling together with your spouse. In-law relationships may negatively impact a marriage in one way or another and sometimes, couples face adjustment problems because of this. If this issue continues to bug you and your spouse, it may be well worth it to undergo marriage and family counseling to find solutions in helping you improve your relationships.
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