How To Save A Marriage With Trust Issues (How To Rebuild Trust In A Marriage)
Trust is a crucial ingredient in any relationship, especially a lifetime commitment such as a marriage. It is oftentimes referred to as the glue that holds two people together. Trust brings any relationship to a deeper, more intimate level and can very well be the most important tool in resolving differences and conflicts when they arise.
But just as it is a valuable element, so is it one of the most difficult to work at and develop. Trusting another person, or trusting your spouse means placing yourself in the position of relying on others to treat you in a fair, nonjudgmental and honest way. It means accepting yourself as you accept the other person in the relationship. And if the person who comes into the marriage have trouble developing trust in his or her spouse then this can be a big problem.
What are some of the reasons why a person has problems trusting?
- They could have experienced a great deal of emotional and/or physical abuse or hurt in the past. Because of this, they are not willing to risk getting hurt or abused again.
- They have been in troubled relationships where they were ignored, misunderstood or their confidences were betrayed by the other person
- They have experienced the pain of losing a loved one through death. As such they close up on themselves for fear of being left alone or abandoned
- They may have come from a broken family or whose parents have separated or divorced. Divorce can be a traumatic experience and so they think that the bitter lesson from it is to not trust anyone so they will not get hurt in the future.
So if one or both of you has any of these reasons and are already in a marriage, it’s high time to take serious steps and develop the trust. Here are some ways by which you can begin to improve trust building in your marriage:
- Foster a healing and comfortable environment in the home. This means the couple are conscious of making each other relaxed enough to talk about anything and everything that bothers them without the fear of being judged or criticized. There is involvement from both partners — they ask questions that will encourage the other to open up, they relate their own experiences and listen to each other fully and with empathy. A healing environment will help both parties develop an intimate bond and a growing conviction that they can lean on each other for support. This will eventually lead to trust.
- Be consistent in your words and actions towards one another. Building trust means developing confidence in each other. So when you communicate to each other, mean what you say and say what you mean. This will help your spouse know that your intentions match your message, and that you are reliable enough to follow through on your words as well with your actions.
- Let go of your own fears. Fear is the ultimate obstacle to building trust. It can restrict your action with others. Letting go can free you from all the mental and emotional constraints that limit your intimacy with your spouse. Realize that your partner may also have some fears of their own and it will be a good exercise for both of you to learn how to let go of them slowly but surely.
Two Communication Tips to Save Your Marriage
Are you having this weird feeling that every day you wake up you seem to be in marriage hell instead of being in married bliss? While most people say that this usually occurs when you have been in the marriage for far too long making things less romantic and more of a bore, there really is no specific time frame for married couples to just start bickering — signaling the end of the honeymoon period.
Sure, a fight is just a normal thing among couples, in fact, it does happen even to the best of the lot out there but what it your fights with your mate start to become more of an everyday thing? Worse, what if your fights seem to be all about the same issues — wherein nothing seems to be resolved?
It can certainly get frustrating and while some people are so quick to say that they’re ‘out’ and just can’t take all the fighting anymore, don’t you feel that your relationship still deserves a shot at getting better? Sure it might take some work, actually, a lot of work but that’s what marriage is all about — two people making a relationship work in spite of the odds.
So before you hoard all those self-help books on how to save your marriage or get into relationship therapy, read on first to find out the right ways to save a marriage from going into a downward spiral.
Listen to your partner — one of the most common mistakes that couples end up doing is that when they start to bicker, no one seems to be willing to talk things out and basically hear out each other’s side. This selfishness usually is the root of most marital problems while yes infidelity, and other problems may occur, if you are truly willing to work things out with your partner then all you really need to do is listen — and try your best to understand. If you still love your spouse and you still truly care about your marriage, you will make the effort to try to understand and forgive him or her for the wrongs that he or she has done. Likewise, if you are the one who is at fault, you must sincerely try to make an effort to earn back your spouse’s trust and respect. Remember, forgiving and forgetting is not really just a one-way process.
Refrain from keeping secrets from each other — now that all has been forgiven, you can’t really expect things to just go back to normal in spite of how understanding and loving your spouse may be, you constantly need to show him or her that you are truly deserving of all the love and trust that he or she has so generously given to you in spite of your flaws. And in case you are the one who has been hurt in the relationship, do not forget to do the right thing and give your spouse not just understanding but patience as well if he or she is already trying to show his or remorse about what has happened. If you keep dwelling on all the bad things then how do you expect that the two of you will be able to move on truly be able to save a marriage that is close to falling apart?
There are proven steps that are amazingly powerful that will help you overcome conflicts and breathe life back into your marriage. This is a plan you do not want to pass by, Click here to see the proven steps on how to save your marriage.
Specific things you do and say can compel your spouse to fall in love with you all over again. Saying or doing the wrong thing can actually cause them to feel even more distant from you. If you want your spouse to fall even deeper in love with you now than when you two first married, visit this helpful site