My Husband Wants Time To Himself (What Does It Mean When A Husband Says He Needs Time Apart To Think)
Your husband needs time apart from you. That’s what he told you. You’re confused about exactly what it means but you’re afraid to ask because you fear he’ll tell you that it means he’s ready to file for divorce. It’s probably not that drastic but it certainly is a wake-up call for your marriage. When a husband expresses his dissatisfaction about the relationship, his wife can do one of two things. She can either ignore it and excuse it off as a phase he’s going through or she can fight for her marriage. If you love your husband you obviously don’t want your relationship to end. That’s why you need to get busy saving your marriage and rebuilding it so it’s stronger than ever.
When your husband needs time apart it’s important that you recognize that it’s a symptom of a bigger problem. Men don’t tell their wives they want a time out from the marriage unless they’re terribly unhappy or feeling very unsatisfied. You need to address the problem head on by opening up the lines of communication with him again. Unless you’re willing to talk to him about what’s going on, you can kiss your marriage goodbye. His discontent will continue to grow until it reaches a point where he decides that leaving you is his only option for finding happiness.
Ask your husband to talk with you. Tell him that you’re deeply concerned about the state of your marriage and that you want to do whatever it takes to save it. He may refuse to open up at first, but if you show him that you are compassionate and understanding, he will come around. You can do that by not overreacting or crying all the time. It’s obviously very hard to control your emotions when you see your marriage crumbling before your eyes, but it’s vital that you try and keep your composure. Men are often uncomfortable when confronted with an emotional woman, so keep things under control and you’ll stand a much better chance of getting him to talk with you about what he’s feeling.
Depending on how it is handled, some time apart does not have to be a death sentence for a marriage in crisis. If your husband insists on taking some time for himself, try not to put up too much of a fight. You’ll do better if you agree to it, even if it’s unwillingly. If your husband sees that you want to put his needs first, he’ll start to see you in a new light again. The key to ensuring a separation doesn’t become permanent is to keep talking to your husband and keep helping him understand just how much you adore and appreciate him.
How To Survive a Rough Patch In Your Marriage
Marriage isn’t all about happy times and being in love constantly. All relationships face bumps in the road — some of them small, some would appear to test the very foundations. You and your spouse will inevitably come across differences when it comes to money, raising children, responsibilities at home and at work, friends and even sex. So when things don’t seem to work and you feel that your marriage is just doomed to fail, should you just give up and get a divorce?
Stop and think again. Marriage is a lifetime commitment between you and your spouse. It is an active choice that you both made and that is a choice you need to work on together no matter what problems and challenges come your way. While separation and divorce may seem like convenient options to solve your marital problems, the physical, mental, emotional, financial and social costs far outweigh the benefits. So before you even consider this, it pays to look at your marriage closely, see how you can get through the difficult times and build a loving relationship which you both signed up for.
Here are some ways by which you can deal with a rough patch in your marriage:
Make a mental checkup of where your marriage is. Are you to the point that everything that you and your spouse talk about lead to an argument? Are you tired of fighting with your spouse? Do you feel resentful, bitter, or angry toward your spouse? Do you still love your spouse or are you thinking that there is someone better for you out there? Answering these questions honestly will help you sort out your feelings as far as your commitment to your spouse and your marriage is concerned. Don’t worry, though — even if you answered yes to most of the questions it doesn’t necessarily mean that divorce is a logical conclusion. The acceptance of the problem is the first step towards resolving it. If you and your spouse acknowledge that you need help, then you can agree to go for marital counseling to thresh out the source of the problems and work at them.
Look into yourself and your roles and expectations in the marriage. It takes two to tango, as they say. Marital problems are often caused by controlling issues between both partners, and oftentimes it is easy to point at the other person as the cause of the problem. Ask yourself: “what am I bringing into this relationship?” “Do I have too high expectations of my spouse?” “Am I being as loving and supportive and honest as I want my spouse to be with me?” “Do I have fears that I am channeling on to my spouse?” This is a difficult step to take and takes a great deal of courage and humility but being able to do this and take the steps to face these issues will determine your willingness to fix the problems between you and your spouse.
Find ways to keep the communication lines open and flowing. Marriage studies have shown that oftentimes, marriages don’t end in an explosion of bitter words and fights, they end in a whimper. This is because the first thing that gets shut down in a rough patch is an open communication between the couple. It doesn’t mean you need to always sit down and have a serious talk. Be creative in reaching out to each other. Write letters or send short e-mails telling your spouse how you feel. Encourage each other to respond honestly and openly. This might also be a painstaking task for both of you, but with patience and perseverance this can go a long way in smoothing over the tension.
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