I Cheated On My Boyfriend How Do I Fix It: I Cheated On My Boyfriend and He Hates Me

Jasmine Norah
6 min readDec 31, 2019

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Photo by Becca Tapert on Unsplash

I cheated on my boyfriend how do I fix it — I cheated on my boyfriend and he hates me.

“I cheated on my boyfriend,” said the woman who felt horrible about herself. That woman is you, isn’t it? You were unfaithful and now your boyfriend knows about it. Maybe you confessed because of your guilty conscience or perhaps he stumbled upon proof of your affair. Either way he’s heartbroken and you feel devastated for making him feel that way. You wish you could turn back the hands of time and erase your mistake, but life doesn’t offer that option. Instead, you now have to face what you’ve done and try to rebuild the tattered remains of your relationship. It’s possible to do this but it’s not easy. If you love your man though and you truly are regretful over what happened, you’re already on the right path.

Cheating on someone completely changes the dynamic of your relationship with them. Once the infidelity is brought to light, your boyfriend is going to feel a whole host of things and likely all at the same time. He’s bound to be angry, jealous, confused and he’s going to feel a deep sense of rejection. He’ll wonder why you did it and why he wasn’t enough for you. You may feel justified in having the other relationship but right now, as you’re working on rebuilding the bond with your boyfriend you have to be compassionate and you must show regret for your actions. If you’re not truly remorseful for cheating on him, you should really take a step back and decide whether this relationship is really what you want and need.

Talking to your boyfriend is the foundation of your plan to get him to forgive you and want to be with you again. When a person realizes their partner was unfaithful they have a lot of questions running through their minds. Some of those questions are going to be very hard for you to answer but it’s important that you do your best to address all his questions and concerns as compassionately and honestly as you possibly can. He must learn to trust you again if you hope to continue your relationship with him and that has to be built on your willingness to be as open as you can with him.

Don’t push your boyfriend into forgiving you before he’s ready to. He may need to take a bit of time for himself to work through his own feelings regarding your infidelity. Give him that. He may also want to take a break so he can consider what is best for him without any contact with you for a time. As hard as it will be to do that, you must. It’s very important to do whatever you can to make him feel that his needs matter more than your own. If you can do that, he’ll see that you genuinely regret what happened and that he’s the most important person in your world now and in the future.

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Are you dying to get your boyfriend back? Has the breakup really taken a toll on you and your heart aches for your boyfriend every single day? Are you sick of all the crazy advice and useless tips that friend and family have given you?

Waiting — This may be the advice that friends and family give you. Waiting around for your boyfriend to decide that he still loves you and that the two of you should be together rarely happens. After all, who has months to wait or the patience to hang around while your boyfriend moves on thinking that you have lost interest in you?

Although you appreciate the advice from your friends and family, they don’t have to walk in your shoes and they don’t feel the pain that you feel. You just feel that you have to do something or you’re going to go insane and doing something is better than doing nothing!

The list goes on and on of methods and tactics that you might have heard to help you to get your boyfriend back. The simple truth is that when chaos and emotions are running high common sense often reigns supreme. This means that while you and your boyfriend are at opposite ends of the pole as far as your relationship and its future a common sense approach is needed for you to find success and find it quickly.

What Happened — Figuring out what happened that caused the breakdown of your relationship should be your first step in getting your boyfriend back. Thinking this through yourself as you work on getting your boyfriend back will pay dividends in the end in that you will be conscious of problem areas and knowing how you can avoid them when you actually do get your boyfriend back.

Connecting — Connecting with your boyfriend again is more than just reconnecting with him. Connecting with him is the process by which you draw him close to you again and recreating that attraction that was and no doubt is still there underneath all the garbage that the two of you have throw at each other since before your breakup and during your breakup.

A good and worthwhile tip should be to point out that reconnecting with your boyfriend does not include talking about the breakup or what you think you can do to help the two of you to get back together. Without a connection with your boyfriend such talk will only drive him further away and kill any chance that you have of getting him back. Avoid all talk of the breakup or problems in your relationship until you have a connection with him again.

Blame — Avoid blaming any part of the breakup on your boyfriend. Even when you do get back together it is in poor taste to blame him for the breakup no matter what he did or said. The first days, weeks and months after the two of you get back together it will be difficult to keep your mouth shut at times and he may even bring up hurtful things or blame you for the breakup but it is imperative that you point the finger at him or even try to bring up subjects that may lead him to have to look at his part in the breakup. While this may sound crazy there is a method to this madness and a reason for this advice.

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