My Boyfriend Wants To Leave Me: My Boyfriend Is About To Break Up With Me
My boyfriend wants to leave me — My boyfriend is about to break up with me.
My boyfriend wants to leave me is something no woman ever wants to hear herself saying out loud. Knowing that the man you adore has decided he doesn’t love you anymore or he’s just not into you anymore is devastating. The moment he tells you, your emotions will go into a tailspin. Unfortunately, many women in this position let those same emotions take control of the situation and they end up doing or saying things that ensure the end of the relationship for good. Don’t let this happen to you. As much as you want to fight him over the break up, don’t. There are very specific reasons why you need to let him go if you hope to keep the connection between you two alive and thriving.
Men anticipate very specific reactions when they tell their girlfriends that they want to leave. They know it’s difficult to hear that the man you love is over you, so they expect that you’ll go off the emotional deep end. Typically this means things like calling him repeatedly asking for another chance or enlisting the help of mutual friends to talk to him about the break up. You feel the urge to do these things because you believe, sincerely, that they’ll help. They won’t though. The will hurt your chances of getting him back.
The very best move any woman can make if her boyfriend wants to break up is to agree with him. Tell him that you understand what he’s feeling. Explain to him that you feel a sense of relief now because you’ve been debating the idea of a break up yourself. Just make it clear to him that you’re good with the break up.
You may be wondering how accepting that he wants to leave you will actually help you. The reasoning behind this is actually very simple and plays on a man’s innate human nature. No one, regardless of gender, does well with rejection. It stings when someone tells you they don’t want you anymore. That’s exactly why you need to accept that he wants to leave you. By accepting you’re in turn rejecting him. He’ll feel abandoned and alone even though the break up was initially his idea. He won’t be able to tolerate that feeling for long. The knowledge that you no longer wanted him will eat at his ego until he can’t stand it anymore. That’s when he’ll decide that he needs you back.
It’s not easy to accomplish this. That’s especially true when every pore in your body is wishing he’d reconsider his decision to leave. You need to be strong and let him go for now though. Show him that you’re fine without him and it will make him want you more and more.
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Dating someone else? Are you crazy? Haven’t you always advised not to try and make your ex boyfriend jealous? Didn’t you always say that is no way to try to get him back? Yes on both counts. I also realize you probably do not feel like dating anyone at all right now. However… here are a few other things to consider. It is true that jealousy is a dangerous game to play. It is usually not a good idea.
But if you have been dumped, you are now a free agent. You can do as you please. Surviving breakups means you have to get out of the house, meet people, be active and have fun, even if it kills you! This will raise your confidence and mood mightily.
Even so, isn’t it unfair to the new guy you are dating? Are you just using him? Perhaps. Nevertheless, there is an easy way out of this dilemma. Tell the truth! Let your date know that you recently broke up with your ex. You want to go out with him (the new guy) because you enjoy his company. You do not want a relationship filled with heavyosity, so to speak, at this point. Then your date can accept or refuse, as he likes.
(Notice how the simple, polite truth can quickly resolve a sticky situation, and keep you out of trouble. Try it more often yourself. It will help you in surviving breakups, and in your daily life generally.)
So now you are out among friends, possibly dating someone new, and keeping that smile on your face and in your heart. Good. Remember, you are not trying to make your ex jealous. When he hears how happy, confident and poised you are without him, this will give him pause.
He may wonder why the two of you broke up in the first place. He no doubt still has feelings for you, and these will begin to gnaw at him. Thoughts of you will go round and round in his head, like sandpaper on your skin. As you can see, there is no need to panic, even if you do not hear from your ex for a while.
Actually, that would be a good thing. You both need a timeout from each other, to come to terms with the breakup. Accept that it is over between the two of you, for now anyway. Realize that each of you must accept some responsibility for what happened.
Notice, also, that your world did not really fall apart when you split up with him. The sky did not fall. You can get through this. Surviving breakups is very possible and doable, with a little help from your friends. To paraphrase John Kennedy, do not dwell on how much your ex boyfriend means to you; show how much you mean to your ex!
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