My Ex Doesn’t Want To Be Friends With Me: Being Friends With An Ex And Getting Back Together

Jasmine Norah
6 min readDec 26, 2019

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Photo by Greg Raines on Unsplash

My ex doesn’t want to be friends with me — Being friends with an ex and getting back together.

Ending relationships is difficult in even the best of circumstances. Do you ever wonder how some couples have figured out how to be friends after a breakup? Isn’t it something you’d like to do in your situation? It’s not as difficult as you might think.

You do not have to make an “either or” decision when it comes to relationship. You have choices beyond either you love him or you hate him. In between there is friendship and your romantic partner should, above and beyond all else, be your friend. That is often the most difficult thing to part with once relationships end.

How to be Friends after a Breakup

1) Avoid acting or lashing out in anger or pain. This is a critical first step in the process of retaining a friendship from the wreckage of your romantic relationship. Don’t go out and do something you’ll regret. Instead, be calm and behave with integrity throughout the breakup process.

2) Don’t talk bad about your ex to any and every one who will listen. If you hope to figure out how to be friends after a breakup. You need to guard your words and set the example. Don’t say things you can’t take back or that you might one day regret even if they are said in reaction to the pain of a breakup.

3) Begin by being a friend without strings. Offer friendship and avoid pushing for a romantic overtone. Be friends and ask for nothing additional in return. This will create a bond between the two of you that might even go beyond the bond you had as romantic partners.

4) Accept the friendship offered by your ex. Don’t place conditions and don’t make demands. Accept what is freely offered and let this new dimension to your relationship evolve over time. You may discover that your ex is a better friend than lover for you. You might also discover that your romance can be rekindled once you’ve worked out how to really be friends above and beyond all else.

Learning how to be friends after a breakup is one of the most important things you can do if you ever hope to get your ex back. Even without holding on to this particular hope there is a great deal to be gained by learning to be friends with your ex. The most important thing to gain though is a true and dear friend.

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Do you want to get your love back? Well, there are many ways you can go about getting your love back, but the best way is by taking the slow and steady path.

It usually takes more time to get back after a breakup than to start a new relationship with someone new. Patience is a must when getting an ex back, and if you are not a particularly patient person, do feel free to practice the art of waiting.

The first thing you should do to get back your love is to gently start reaching out to your ex again. In some situations you have to play hard to get, but this time you are going to make yourself somewhat available.

Chances are your ex hasn’t contacted you since the breakup. The thing is, just because your ex called you 3 times a day when you were still together, it does not mean he or she will contact you at least once a week now that you have broken up.

This means that you have to keep the line of communication open, because your ex will not. You should also realize that by now, either your ex is entertaining the idea of dating again or someone else out there has got the hots for your ex.

You could start out by sending your ex some innocent e-mails, but please don’t even think about writing a love poem. If you don’t know what the contents of the e-mails should be, I could help you with that with some suggestions.

First off, you can just send a simple e-mail with a friendly hello. How about an interesting article? Or maybe you should send your ex a funny picture. Do you see what I’m trying tell you here? Keep each contact light spirited and just concentrate on keeping in touch rather than making a statement on every message.

When the e-mail exchanges are done on a regular basis, you can move onto something a little more personal. For example, birthdays are godsend as the day gives you a perfect excuse to wrap a special gift for your ex. Again, no luvvy dubby stuff and just keep things very friendly and innocent until the perfect timing. If a gift seems like too much, you can always send an e-card or an actual physical birthday card as a reminder that you still remember and that you still care.

Also, don’t forget your anniversary with your ex and just remind your ex that even as friends you are glad to have an anniversary to share with him or her.

Judge the timing and make some calls as well, let your ex listen to your voice time to time. As you patiently go about doing all these things, analyze your relationship with your ex now and study how your ex is reacting to all of this.

By the time you are naturally keeping in touch with your ex again, it should be obvious to you that your ex is starting to open up again. This is how you get back your love and the rest is up to you as you have to seal the deal.

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