A New “Theory of Relativity” Could Shake Up the World Again. But This Time It’s About Sex!

I. J. Weinstock’s new book presents his Theory of Sexual Relativity and warns that it’s a matter of survival!

7 min readJan 9, 2023

by I. J. Weinstock, author of OUR SECRET SEX LIFE: The Key to Humanity’s Destiny.

For the past decade, I’ve been writing about the mystery we call “sex” in an epic fantasy series, THE SECRET SEX LIFE OF ANGELS. My new nonfiction book, OUR SECRET SEX LIFE: The Key to Humanity’s Destiny, reveals a secret we all carry between our legs and the hidden connections between sex, society, and survival.

The “secret” is that sex is more fundamental and consequential than we realize. The historian, Yuval Noah Harari, said, “The story in which you believe shapes the society that you create.” My Theory of Sexual Relativity and Human Destiny argues that our sexuality is one of the defining aspects of our humanity and that the “story” we tell ourselves about sex shapes the kind of society in which we live.

In contemporary tech terms, sex is one of humanity’s core programs. And it’s been hacked with catastrophic consequences! Our hacked SEX OS may be the “root” cause of the existential, self-inflicted crises that threaten humanity.

My book sounds an alarm about the need to awaken to the truth of sex’s fundamental and consequential importance before it’s too late.

To facilitate this urgent conversation, I’ve summarized my Theory in the following ten statements. Of course, I’m over-simplifying a complex argument I wrote an entire book about. But the world is on fire, humanity is on the brink, so let’s get the conversation started.

A Theory of Sexual Relativity and Human Destiny

I.

Sex is much more than we realize. More than procreation or pleasure, sex is fundamental to our humanity in ways we’ve forgotten and consequential in ways we can’t imagine.

II.

Sex is the source of our humanity. Along with Natural Selection, Sexual Selection — the “carrot” of Evolution — shaped our evolving Homo Sapiens species. Our uniquely human hyper-sexuality, which uncoupled sex from reproduction, is profoundly connected with the evolution of our uniquely large brains. And vice versa.

The female’s hidden ovulation, unique among primates, evolved a new kind of hyper-sexuality that required more complex communication between the sexes to negotiate the how, where, and when of reproduction. To survive, Homo Sapiens had to choreograph a new kind of evolutionary “mating dance” whose communication demands may have evolved a larger brain for advanced speech, complex language, and ultimately human culture.

III.

Sex is society’s hidden, underground root system — its core program. The story we tell ourselves about sex — which generates our beliefs, feelings, and actions — governs gender identity, defines relations between women and men, dictates the dynamics of family, and ultimately influences the values and structures of society.

This “story” about sex is so fundamental and consequential that, like a “matrix,” it determines our “reality,” creating not only new generations but also shaping civilizations.

IV.

Sexual Creation Myths are like a civilization’s DNA or Operating System. Ancient civilizations like Egypt and Sumer revered sex as the “Original Blessing.” In Sumer (the biblical Babylon), they celebrated the Epic of Gilgamesh. Written on stone tablets pre-dating the Bible, it recounts the Goddess sending her High Priestess into the wilderness to sexually initiate a wild man named Enki and thus raise him from bestiality to humanity.

Those ancient cultures understood that sex is the “root” of the Tree of Life from which civilization grows and that if the “root” is damaged, the “fruit” (society) will be poisoned. Western Civilization is also built upon the idea that sex is significant but in a shameful, almost demonic way since it became the “Original Sin” for which we were expelled from the Garden of Eden.

V.

The Agricultural Revolution transformed the relationship between men and women and how they (especially men) related to sex. It drove men to acquire power through property and progeny. For men to gain progeny, they required paternity certainty. To know whose child a woman bore, men had to control women sexually.

To legitimize their authority, men rewrote society’s belief systems (religion), diminishing women’s status and justifying their dominance. Eventually, the primordial Goddess was replaced with the new male God of the Bible. The biblical prohibition against eating the “forbidden fruit” (code for sex) in the Garden of Eden began the demonization of sex, the defamation of the Goddess as the “Whore of Babylon,” and the desecration of the “Original Blessing” as the “Original Sin.”

VI.

If we think of sex as humanity’s “Operating System,” a civilization that believes sex to be the “Original Blessing” will be very different than a civilization that believes sex is the “Original Sin.”

To continue the tech metaphor, our SEX OS has been corrupted by religious “bugs,” infected by patriarchal cultural “viruses,” and distorted by shame-based “malware.” Simply put, our SEX OS has been hacked! And the consequences are catastrophic!

Our hacked SEX OS may be the “root” cause of humanity’s self-inflicted, existential crises.

VII.

The collective trauma of sexual shame our patriarchal, Original Sin-sourced culture inflicts on everyone has estranged us from our bodies and consequently from the body of the planet. This traumatic exile from our human nature has also exiled us from the greater Nature of which we are inextricably a part and has driven us to commit the insanely self-destructive act of “poisoning our nest” and destroying our world.

VIII.

Our sexual shame is deeply embedded in our language in many ways: from calling the act of sexual self-pleasure “masturbation” (a term which originally meant to defile oneself) to describing a host of things related to sex as being “dirty.” Calling them “dirty jokes” and referring to them as “dirty words” expresses the shame we’ve been conditioned to feel about our sexuality. Our sexual shame is so deeply ingrained we’re not even consciously aware of it.

IX.

Psychology has taught us that our “shadow” — the parts of ourselves that we’re ashamed of and have disowned — can cause us to engage, often unconsciously, in self-destructive acts. Sex is the great shadow of civilization since it’s the primary thing that’s been hidden and that we’re ashamed of.

Humanity must deal with its shadow and bring what’s been hidden into the light to be healed. If humanity heals its sexual shadow, it will free us in ways we can’t imagine. It might even stop our headlong rush to self-destruction.

X.

Is it possible that humanity is committing slow-motion suicide because we’re a life-form, the only one on Earth, ashamed of how it reproduces itself?

India’s ancient Vedas warn that a society which doesn’t revere the genitals as sacred instruments of creation is doomed. The urgent question we must ask ourselves is — Can a species that’s ashamed of how it creates new life survive?

In Conclusion —

Sex is more fundamental and consequential than we realize.
The “story” we tell ourselves we tell about sex shapes the society in which we live.
The collective shame we’ve inherited from Patriarchy and Religion about the act of creating new life has distorted this fundamental organizing principle of society with catastrophic consequences. To survive, we must heal our unhealthy relationship with this defining aspect of our humanity before it’s too late.

Perhaps, we’ve been looking for answers to the problems facing humanity in all the wrong places. Perhaps, like in the fairy tales we read as children, those answers are hidden in plain sight where we were told not to look. And that place is between our legs. Perhaps, the reason we’re fucking up the world is because our fucking has been fucked up.

It’s time to engage in a new conversation about sex. It’s time for a Sexual Awakening that will inspire healing and the collective upgrading of our hacked SEX OS. Not just for personal satisfaction or better sex lives, but for society’s health and, ultimately, civilization’s survival.

Postscript:

It’s been said that when you’re trying to communicate a complex idea, it helps to say it in three different ways. So, in addition to my book and Theory, I’ve written a brief cautionary tale called “Ecstasy or Extinction?”

___________________

I. J. Weinstock is the author of THE SECRET SEX LIFE OF ANGELS series — an epic quest exploring the mystery we call “sex.” This essay was adapted from his most recent book, OUR SECRET SEX LIFE: The Key to Humanity’s Destiny.