Q1 Earnings
Brooklyn, N.Y — November 9, 2015 — Mom and Dad Sternberg Company, Inc. today announced the results of its parental First Quarter for fiscal 2016, most successful quarter to date.
After significant growth in fiscal Q4, the company reports continued positive growth across the board in fiscal Q1. As the last year has shown, year-over-year growth of the company’s core product, Baby Sternberg, continues to drive the company’s bottom line.
“While Q1 was our most impressive, led by Baby’s transformation from crawling to walking, we are most proud that Baby has mastered both ‘fishy face’ and ‘monkey’ movements,” said Mom, CEO.
Year-over-year, Baby has gone from not being able to do literally anything to walking over to Dad and giving a hug. Baby has also begun to participate in company-wide dance parties.
“Mom and I are so happy that Baby is happy,” said Dad, who was promoted to VP of Worrying last quarter and is doing ably in that new role. “Except that one time when she got mad at the boy who shoved her. That wasn’t cool of the boy.”
The first quarter saw increase of cognitive processes. While Baby has yet to say actual words, Mom and Dad Sternberg Company are pleased with how Baby is making animal noises and uttering complete babble. Company physicians say this is good. Baby can also point to her hair, belly and nose; though she sometimes confuses that for her mouth. She’s 15-months, what?
As noted, the first quarter also saw Baby learn how to walk. This was aided by performance enhancing materials, like the toy baby stroller, but completely allowed by the Baby governing rules.
Baby has also added more teeth. As of this report, full number of molars, cuspids, bicuspids and incisors are inadequate. They’re there. Trust us.
As noted in Q4 earnings, Mom and Dad Sternberg Company, Inc. still have no plans for line-extensions for fiscal 2016. The Company is still focused on its core competencies of Baby. However, VPs of Aunthood, Lanie and Sara are having offshoots of their own, and Mom and Dad and Baby are very excited to welcome these two new products in late Q2 and early Q3.
Mom and Dad will hold quarterly phone call to investors and analysts this weekend via FaceTime.
