Preferences, Deliberation & Free Will
Preferences seem to be subjective internal sensations that sometimes suggest and sometimes compel my attention and actions through attraction or repulsion.
Preferences appear necessary for my survival and thriving, but also a source of discord between other sensing and thinking beings whose preferences appear to differ from mine.
Introduction
Preferences seem very important to truth seeking because they appear to impact my attention and actions.
Preferences, due to their subjective nature, can be a source of discord between individuals in the search for truth. We are not just observers; we also have basic needs for survival. Preferences connect me with those needs and impact my actions. When preferences are very strong, they cause me to attend in a narrowly focused way and act impulsively. When they are weaker, I can be more deliberate and focus more broadly/openly.
Because my preferences are subjective and often differ from the preferences of others, and because they impact my actions (sometimes impulsively) — discordant preferences cause very observable conflict between individuals out in the world of beings.
Preferences make conflict inevitable, but the conflict does not have to be violent or impulsive. I will discuss how we can control our attention and actions to make more deliberate choices in how we respond to our preferences in these inevitable conflicts.
In this post, I will explain why I categorize preferences as sensations; why I believe they are subjective experiences, how they vary in strength, how the strength of a preference affects my ability to behave in a deliberate way, and how to better control the strength of a preference in order to maintain control.
Why Are Preferences Considered Sensations?
I previously defined sensation as a process by which my direct experience with beings is converted into a “medium” that I am able to experience in my inner world. In the case of preferences, the direct experience with beings happens on a microscopic scale inside my body. The microscopic elements are chemical signaling molecules (neurotransmitters and hormones) which I have receptors (sensory apparatuses) for. When receptors receive these chemicals, they open up ion channels that excite pathways in the brain that cause my experience of preferences somewhere on the continuum between very strong attraction ← neutral → very strong repulsion.
Unlike other sensations, preference sensations that are very strong often cause impulsive reactions of approach or avoidance.
Cognizing Preference Sensations
Like other sensations, I can think about preference sensations in my inner world (if the preference is not so strong to cause an impulsive reaction).
If preference sensations are weak enough, I can also wonder about them. When I wonder, I withhold categorization/judgment and stay open to more information. When I categorize, I make a prediction that I can either wonder and deliberate about by checking it against sensations before I decide it’s good enough. Or, I can categorize it as a belief to use in my cognitions without considering its accuracy or how it aligns with my other sensations and ideas.
When a preference sensation is very strong, I am often compelled to act impulsively with very little, if any, wonder or thought that I am aware of.
Why are Preferences Subjective?
Unlike other sensations, preference sensations occur completely inside of me (what I sense and cognize myself to be). The physical chemicals are microscopic. I alone experience my personal preference sensations. Dogs and possibly other creatures can smell changes in me due to the chemicals released in my body, but the smelled chemicals do not bind with the receptors in their brains and excite pathways to cause them to experience my preferences with me. No one else experiences my preference sensations with me, therefore, they are subjective sensations.
Preference and Deliberate Attention and Action
The apparent ability to choose some preferences and choose how I respond to them provides hope that these subjective preferences do not control me completely — that perhaps I have some freedom to choose what I pay attention to and how I behave.
In this section I’ll acknowledge that I can’t control myself completely. I’ll also discuss how I can better control some of my attention and actions. Some preferences seem innate — I am born with them, but they transform over time, and I also acquire new ones. Often, my responses to preferences feel deliberate but sometimes they feel impulsive, and I can sense that there is a difference — it feels different to me when I chose how to respond vs when impulse takes control over my response.
Innate Preference Sensations
Babies appear to be born with innate preference sensations. There are certain innate sensations that babies avoid — pain, cold, hunger… There are other sensations that they seek — comfort, stable temperature, security, nourishing food when hungry… When the sensations they seek to avoid are unrelenting and it appears their need will not or cannot be met, they eventually experience uninhibited stress (negative preference sensations) or trauma. When trauma is experienced (especially long-term trauma), it alters one’s brain - it alters cognition and behavior. Prolonged trauma is detrimental one’s cognition, as we will see in the results of the experiment below.
The link below discusses a study that appears to show that baby monkeys have a preference to seek objects that are soft when exposed to frightening conditions. Even when hard/cold/spiky objects are both familiar to them and provide all of their nourishment are present, they find no comfort in them. Softness is what they seek and need when they are scared.
Harry Harlow Monkey Experiments: Cloth Mother vs Wire Mother (simplypsychology.org).
In the study, there are two sets of monkeys. Each monkey lives in seclusion. Both sets of monkeys have a “wire mother” who provides nourishment. The wire mother is composed of spiky metal wire (see pictures in the link). One set of monkeys is also given a “cloth mother” who provides no food, just contact comfort.
The Monkeys who have a cloth mother prefer to spend their time with the cloth mother over the wire mother and only engage with the wire mother when hungry. When startled, they run to the cloth mother, and when placed in an unfamiliar space, they run to the cloth mother and use it is as a place from which to explore.
The set of monkeys with no cloth mother have no attachment to their wire mother. They don’t lay with it for comfort, they don’t run to it when they are scared. When they are placed in a room of unfamiliar objects, they display uninhibited stress behaviors even when the wire mother is present and do not settle down and attempt to explore their environment. They don’t run to the wire mother for comfort, it does not offer them any sense of security.
When we compare the monkeys who have a cloth mother with those who do not, it is clear that the uninhibited negative preference sensations due to a lack of security altered the cognition of the monkeys with no cloth mother. Monkeys with a cloth mother were able to adapt when they left seclusion. They grew into adults, interacted with other monkeys, found mates, and raised their young. Monkeys with no cloth mother exhibited self-harming behaviors. They had no interest in other monkeys. They were unable to develop relationships and mating partners. When artificially inseminated they did not care for their young, and in one case a mother monkey killed and mutilated its baby.
Some preferences are innate. When negative preference sensations are uninhibited, especially long term, they alter an individual’s cognition and behavior. If untreated those individuals may inflict more trauma upon themselves and potentially those around them.
Acquired Preference Sensations and Nuance
Some of my preferences appear innate, but as I gain more experiences in life, my preferences change. They become more diverse, and my response to preference sensations become more nuanced and complex. It appears that I can gain more control over my responses to preferences. This control allows me to act more deliberately. Babies prefer things that are soft and comforting to feel secure, but as they grow up, that preference can change and become more complex.
As time goes on, I can tolerate negative preferences or possibly even “train” myself to have positive preferences for sensations that I once felt negatively toward — even preferences that are innate and alert me to basic needs: Anorexia is a good example of how a person can control and change their preferences. People don’t innately prefer to starve themselves, but people who exhibit anorexic behaviors deliberately starve themselves. Their behavior might be a compulsive self-harming harming behavior that arises as a result of trauma. Or, it might also be because a different preference sensation overrides the more innate preference to eat when they are hungry. The new preference may be acquired through experience. — For instance, I might acquire a preference to starve myself as I observe throughout my life that people with thin bodies receive from others positive preference reactions and treatment that I prefer to receive (respect, attraction, positive attention) and those who are not thin enough receive reactions and treatment that I do not prefer (disappointment, quick dismissal, negative attention). If I begin to associate my self-worth with thinness, and I don’t know how or cannot obtain the level of thinness I seek in a heathy way, self-harm through anorexic behaviors might appeal to me.
In a personal example, I began changing my preference for sweets when I was in high school. I gave up soda and sweets for lent one year. It was very hard because I really liked those treats. After 40 days of not having them, I tried soda again. It was so sweet that I found it disgusting, and I didn’t like the way the fizz felt in my mouth. I no longer wanted it anymore. For doughnuts, I also changed my preferences. Instead of focusing on the things that I liked about doughnuts, I focused on the things that I didn’t like about them — the coating that gets on the roof of my mouth and the heat flash I’d get from the sugar rush. Instead of grabbing sweets and soda, I found other things to grab to cure my craving for sweets like fruits and carrots and sweet potatoes. After I’d reduced my refined sugar consumption, I no longer wanted candy, soda, or doughnuts, and when I’d have them, I didn’t get the positive preference sensations that I got before I had given them up, I had more negative preference sensations like disgust.
It seems like I may be able to adjust my preferences for things sometimes by changing the way that I attend to them.
Freedom of the Will
I may have the ability to change at least some of my preferences, as evidenced in the anorexia example and my example with sweets. I can change them by changing what I pay attention to. I may still want food and sweets, but I can change the way I think about those things, and as a result, my approach and avoidance preferences for those things can change.
I know this may be a controversial topic, and that not everyone has the same experiences as I do. In terms of sexual preference — which sex a person experiences a sexual attraction to or repulsion from and whether or not someone can choose which sex they are attracted to is something of debate.
I do not experience other people’s sensations and preferences, and I don’t purport to know what someone else can or cannot control or choose. For me, however, I believe I experience sexual preference as a choice, not a compulsion.
Strength of Preference and Deliberateness of Attention and Action
Preferences range in strength, and the strength of a preference impacts my ability to control my actions.
There is a range:
← — Strong negative← — — Neutral Homeostasis — — →Strong Positive — ->
It seems as though I don’t always experience strong preference sensations. Very often I have little to no preference, but I have to make decisions about how to conduct my life anyway. When I have no preference, it can be hard to decide, and I might feel inhibited to do anything. When I have a little preference, it is easy to be deliberate and weigh my options. When I have a strong preference however, I may be able to chose to deliberate. And, when I have a very very strong preference, I don’t even get to deliberate — compulsion takes over and I (the part of me that is aware and attending) am no longer in control.
Deliberate Attention — When preference sensations are weak, it seems like I can choose whether or not I attend to them, I can also choose how/how not to attend to them, and whether or not to act and how/how not to act. When my preferences are weak enough to wonder about what’s going on around me before pressing me to decide, and they don’t compel me to make judgments and/or perform compelled actions, then I may wonder about them and ponder without choosing right away.
Compelled Attention, Deliberate Action — When my preferences are a bit stronger, they may compel my attention to focus on a cognition or sensation. From there, I can use my preference sensations to cognize (wonder and guess) about how I feel about what I am paying attention to. Do I feel positively or negatively? With more evidence, I gain more preference toward certain guesses or lose preference for them. For instance — I think I might want this shirt because I like the color and style, but I’ll need to try it on, justify the cost, and think about what I might wear it with to decide for sure. My preference for those guesses changes with evidence and if all the evidence lines up in one way, or in this case if the shirt passes or fails the crucial tests of fitting properly and being affordable, my choice becomes clear, and I engage in the approach or avoidance action that I decide.
Compelled Attention and Action — When preferences are stronger still, they seem to compel my behavior impulsively (with little to no input from cognition that I am aware of). I experience a stimulation, and I act without thinking. I experienced impulsive action while on a hike with my 3 year old daughter. She was running out in front of me, and I warned her to stay next to me and watch out for rattle snakes. Soon after, a small rattle snake crossed the path in front of us rattling all the way. Upon hearing the sound of the rattle, I grabbed my daughter and screamed from the top of my lungs until the last of my breath was gone. I am not normally a screamer; I can’t even do it when I try. This giant scream just came out of me impulsively without any thought or deliberation that I was aware of.
Sometimes I can deliberate and choose what I attend to and how I respond to it. Sometimes I cannot. I sense that there is a difference between times in which I am aware of my decision process and when I react impulsively without choosing. They feel like two different types of experiences and reactions.
Strength of Preference Biologically
Strength of preference appears to depend upon the amount and type of chemical signaling molecules (neurotransmitters and hormones) released by the body. When enough chemicals bind with receptors, ion channels open up causing a flow of electrons in neural pathways. When enough electrons flow through the pathways they create spikes or neuron activation which results in sensations.
Greater density of chemical signaling molecules released near the receptors and neural pathways cause more ions to be released and more pathways to be activated and I feel stronger sensations. The density of receptors also appears to play a role in strength of sensation. (The density of chemicals and receptors appear to impact sensitivity and preference.)
Something that may account for different sensitivities that others experience, is that some of our sensitivity is inherited by our parents and all potentially all of our sensitivity came from all of the prior generations who passed their DNA on to us. We are not just born as identical blank slates. Traumatic experiences cause us to grow specific sensory receptors in our brains to detect signs to avoid more trauma. Scientific studies show that parents can pass on to their offspring the receptors that they grow as a response to trauma: Breakthrough: The Trauma Tracer (youtube.com)
Preventing Strong Out of Control Preference Sensations
I cannot always control the strength of a preference. In the case of the rattle snake incident I mentioned, I had no control. I could not have prevented myself, in that moment, from reacting the way that I did.
If I wanted to tackle that fear response, to prevent it from happening in the future, I could try to get more experiences with rattlesnakes and learn more about their behavior and what to expect from them, and how to care for myself or my children if we are bitten. Then, perhaps my response would become more thoughtful, controlled, and deliberate. But it is hard to know for sure.
It appears to me in some cases, when I anticipate a potential negative preference sensation, I can preemptively talk myself out of responding impulsively. An example of this would be facing the fear of pain. Like anticipating the pain before getting a vaccine, or having a tooth removed. I know someone who had a cavity filled with no numbing agent and remained calm by telling herself that “yes this is painful but, it no harm is being done to me, and it would be okay soon.”
I can anticipate that these things will hurt, but I can bear it knowing no harm will come to me, that these painful experiences are actually for my own good. I can try to breath calmly and accept the pain without going into an uncontrolled trauma response (anxiety attack or something like that). I can train myself to respond to the pain in a more controlled way.
In contrast, if I begin to feel a very strong negative preference for which I am not prepared, my cognition can spiral into an uncontrolled trauma response. Also, if I anticipate that I will experience some terrible threat that I won’t be able to control or avoid, sometimes even something small will feel big and insurmountable or traumatic. Once I am in that state, I behave in stress mode which is more narrowly focused, impulsive, and less deliberate. Like when someone gets to the bottom of a waterslide and freaks out because the water is rushing around and they feel like their drowning, then the lifeguard tells them to stand up, because the water is only waist deep, (or when a tiny rattle snake crosses your path when you are walking in the desert with your daughter). When I have such out of control experiences, I grow more receptors to avoid such situations in the future. I become more alert and prepared to avoid things, even harmless things. I also have a hard time calming down right away — the neurotransmitters have been released, the pathways in my brain have been activated, and it will take a minute for that all to simmer down. During that time, I may have a hard time responding in a controlled way to other things that I encounter — I might act stressed toward things/situations that would not normally cause me stress.
A lot of the negative preference sensations we experience do not have to elicit uncontrolled responses or feel traumatic. I can anticipate ways to stay calm and remain in control even in an unpredictable situation. I don’t even have to anticipate exactly what will happen. I can anticipate that things might not go as planned and be “open to experience:” I can prepare myself for the idea that I won’t like something or will encounter something unpredictable — I might need to wonder about what to do. I can watch for predictable potential anticipated problems, but also be prepared that something unexpected may come up. Instead of letting it push me to a quick fight or flight reaction that is out of control, I can maintain sensitivity and wonder and see complexity, nuance, and potential solutions. I can avoid narrowly focusing my attention and avoid unthoughtful reactions that may cause suffering for myself or others around me.
It is challenging to maintain control under all circumstances. It may not always be possible, like when I am in an extremely traumatic event like a bombardment, car accident, attack by a wild animal, rape, or a kidnapping. I may not be able to stay calm in incredibly traumatic experiences like these. It also may not always be advantageous to stay calm in those situations.
Freedom of the Will
It seems as though I can sometimes control the strength of my preference sensations, and I can train myself to get better at it in many situations. For this reason, I may sometimes have the freedom to choose how I respond to my preference sensations.
I also seems that there are instances in which I have no control. It is easy for me to tell that there is a difference in how I feel and behave when I (the part of me that is attending to my sensations and cognitions) am not in control and some other part of my brain/body takes the wheel.
Conclusion
Preferences are very important to truth seeking because they appear to impact my attention and actions. I categorize preferences as sensations; I believe they are subjective experiences; some seem innate, and some seem to be acquired; they vary in strength, and the strength of a preference seems to determine whether my reaction is deliberate or impulsive.
Sometimes I have free will, and sometimes I don’t, but it seems like I can get better at maintaining control if I work at how I anticipate accepting and adapting to the unexpected.
In the future I will discuss the triggers for preference sensations. Understanding the triggers may help me anticipate negative preference sensations and help me react to them in a more thoughtful and deliberate way.