Her heart, like her country, was war-torn. Though she longed to press her lips against the Captain they call Morgan, she knew only carbonation and General Tso — Shades of green sprouted and sparkled in the sun, illuminating sprawling hills of mint, sage and basil on the window sill — just as the Amazon reviews for the EZ2Grow Starter Kit™ promised. The Herbs of Wrath (2139) “A rose, my dear?” the artist asked, steadying his needle. “Nay,” she…

And I’m Ready to Dominate! — Welcome to HIIT with Kennedy! My name is Ashlee, and I’ll be your instructor’s class pet today in the front row, competing for your attention! Kennedy’s stuck in line at Juice Press. I know because we’re super close and her Instagram is public. I call her “Kennie”; she calls me…

It’s hard to find a gift for the writer who has everything the American Psychiatric Association deems a symptom of neuroticism. You know the type: if they want something, they just go out and convince themselves they don’t deserve it. …

5:59 AM: I spring out of bed 30 seconds before my alarm — a habit from my days as an Eagle Scout. Then, I check my weather app for the day’s precipitation: 3 inches. Wow, fun! Time to use my new galoshes! 6:00 AM: I go right into a series…

By Megan Broussard and Colin Heasley You arrive at a cornfield you practiced driving to twice last week (so you wouldn’t be late), and board a trailer filled with evenly-distributed hay. As you wait for the ride to begin, a shadowy, cloaked figure approaches, but it quickly becomes apparent that…

Hey, Nancy, it’s me, your seven-month-old cockapoo sitting in timeout for eating your Birkenstock. Listen, I thought now might be a good time to remind you of one thing; you can’t tell me what to do because you’re not my real mom! Oh, you didn’t think I’d find out I’m…

I just want what’s best for me: a grandbaby. — Playing Hard to Get: A dating strategy I instilled in my daughter Jenny that I now fear is being taken too literally. Love At First Sight: Something I kindly remind Jenny can only happen if she leaves the house and puts on some blush. Mr. Right: Someone Jenny promises she’ll…

Your fave stories — updated! — Kristy’s Great Idea for Coding Social Interaction With Humans Her Age Claudia and the Phantom Phone Calls from Momo The Gender Fluid Ghost at Dawn’s Stepmom’s Half-brother’s House The Truth About Stacey’s 23andMe Results Mallory and the Mystery Dick Snap Jessi and the Troubleshooting She’s Tired of Doing for Old…

Who’s to say??? — 1. The Beekeeper’s Wife 2. The Shoemaker’s Wife 3.The Memory Keeper’s Daughter 4. The Beekeeper’s Keeper 5. The Daughter Maker’s Wife 6. The Secret Life of Bees 7. Little Bee 8. The Girl Who Kicked the Beehive 9. The Girl Who Kicked the Hornet’s Nest 10. Divine Secrets of the…