Ranking All the Star Trek: The Next Generation Episodes (Part 1)

(CW: discussion of racism, sexism, and assault)

This is Part 1 in a seven part series. Additional parts can be found here (Part 2, Part 3, Part 4, Part 5, Part 6, Part 7 as well as the Picard tea pot series).

I’ve wanted to write about Star Trek for a long time, but it was always a question of “where to start?” So, about a month ago I decided to write a post ranking all the Trek episodes ever, from The Original Series to Enterprise. I started ranking the TNG episodes and it became immediately apparent that I had too much to say about each episode and ultimately decided to write just a Next Gen ranking first. I might one day rank all the episodes and there’s still other posts kicking around in my brain like “‘Now pour the tea’: An Aesthetic Evaluation of Picard’s Tea Pots” and “Art Curation on the Enterprise D or How to Properly Light the 24th Century Equivalent of Hotel Art”. But for now, it’s my TNG rankings, from worst to best.

Really though, if you want to read some great writing about Star Trek, check out Fashion It So, a Trek fashion blog. If it’s Trek factual info you’re looking for, Memory Alpha is for you and if it’s just screen caps of Data’s cat, Spot, try Trek Core.

Here’s my list, starting with the 25 worst episodes of TNG. Enjoy!

168. Code of Honor (TNG 104)

The Enterprise travels to Ligon II for a needed vaccine, but the planet’s leader, Luton, decides he wants Tasha Yar to be his wife, stalling the mission.

This episode is among the worst Trek episodes ever, perhaps the worst. It’s just one of the most racist and sexist episodes in the Trek canon. The Ligonians are a race of black people, the men are governed by their sexual appetites and sport facial scars, they wear “tribal” clothing (but use patterned, metallic fabrics because it’s the future), and their culture is described as primitive but honourable. Lutan, the Ligonian ruler, is even reduced to talking about honour as a “magic cloak”. The writers relied on numerous racist stereotypes when creating the Ligonians and it’s unbearable.

Women are dismissed on Ligon and are only valued for their property in this episode. But they’re treated as worth even less than property to Ligonian men like Lutan. Troi “tricks” Yar into admitting attraction for Lutan. Finally, Yar and Yareena (seriously? Yar and Yar-eena? How? Why?) are forced to fight to the death (though Dr. Crusher is able to resuscitate Yareena in time). Picard plays the role of the cis, straight, white Good Guy AllyTM in this episode, clearly hating Lutan’s views, but humouring him all the way rather than call Lutan out. Sigh.

When they meet in the Observation Lounge, Picard presents the Ligonian party with a 13th century statue of a horse from China’s Sung Dynasty, because as he says, Ligonian culture reminds them of Chinese culture. Umm WTF. How is that ok?

This episode is trash.

167. Angel One (TNG 114)

Looking for survivors of a crash, Riker leads an away team to a world dominated by women while a virus makes everyone on the ship sick.

This episode is super sexist. Picard and Crusher have a little “battle of the sexes” about how to face death on the ship, but the really awful sexism takes place on the planet. The women of Angel I are dominating, tall and muscular and make up the planet’s ruling class, while the men are small, demure, and powerless. This episode is full of stereotypes and other crap, but mostly it’s disappointing that the first women leaders we meet on TNG are shitty and discriminatory, reproducing the horrors of the patriarchy.

Angel I’s leader, Mistress Beata engages in the same sort of “battle of the sexes” debate with Riker, but with more sex. Riker for his part, wears Angel I’s traditional garb like a boss while managing to save the lives of the crash survivors (led by Space MacGyver).

166. The Royale (TNG 212)

The Enterprise investigates a 21st century shipwreck that’s also a casino based on a terrible novel. What.

You know this episode is bad because Picard has to read the novel it’s based on and his face looks like he’s being forced to eat lemons. Don’t watch and miss nothing.

165. Justice (TNG 108)

Wesley is condemned to die on a seemingly perfect planet and Picard, for reasons passing understanding, breaks the Prime Directive to save him.

This planet is full of fit, nearly nude people is supposed to be perfect, but it’s all white people, they run everywhere, and their buildings are actually part of a water filtration plant, so that actually sounds like hell to me. Anyway, fully clothed Wes is about to be executed for falling into a flower bed. For real.

Picard gets mistaken for a god in this episode (IT HAPPENS) and ultimately Wes goes home and the Enterprise warps away, and we never learn how much this intervention fucks with Edo society (shit, they probably walk everywhere now).

But if you’re into an almost naked dude getting an oily, ass massage, this is the episode for you.

164. Shades of Gray (TNG 222)

After being infected by an alien parasite, Riker fights for his life while being flooded with memories.

It’s a clips show. Yes, TNG did a clips show. This whole episode is pointless and awful, but in a benign sort of way. There was a writers strike in 1988 and as a result there wasn’t enough material so we get this. To think S2 ends with this episode and S3 ends with “The Best of Both Worlds Part 1”. Absolutely light years apart in terms of quality.

163. Too Short a Season (TNG 116)

An elderly admiral gets progressively younger while trying to solve a hostage situation.

Admiral Mark Jameson is a selfish jerk who secured an anti-aging cure for both himself and his wife (without asking her if she wanted it) but then takes her portion, in addition to his own, to get younger faster. Predictable. He wants to be super young and active to solve this hostage crisis (good!) because decades earlier he broke the Prime Directive and armed both sides and years of war followed (really, really, bad). He dies. Fuck this guy.

162. The Child (TNG 201)

A ball of light alien (my favourite!) impregnates Troi. Something, something, subplot with Wesley.

This is the first time Troi is violated but unfortunately it’s not the last. She gives birth to a rapidly aging child, named Ian Andrew, after her father. Ian Andrew II’s greatest achievement in life is getting Captain Picard to admit he doesn’t want to play with puppies.

This is also not a good episode. Riker is possessive and gross and wants to know who the father is (he doesn’t mean to be “indelicate” though, so it’s all good). It’s not 100% out of character at this point, as he was weird about Troi’s almost arranged marriage in S1. But still, be better, Riker. Worf wants to kill the fetus. Predictable. Picard, bafflingly, doesn’t hold a meeting with Troi and Pulaski to hear Troi state how she wants to proceed, but instead has a staff meeting where dudes suggest killing her kid, studying her child, and question its parentage. Sigh. The whole time no one asks her if she is ok despite being assaulted and forcibly impregnated. The future seems so cool.

The birth scene is painless for Troi, but that doesn’t change the fact that this is a traumatic pregnancy. Science fiction in general and Star Trek in particular loved the “traumatic birth” convention and holy hell, is that something that we need to let die. In these storylines suffer trauma usually to make the plot more interesting. WTF. Off the tip of my head Trek features Keiko with two traumatic pregnancies, Sam Wildman almost dying during childbirth, and Kirk’s mom giving birth in the middle of the battle that kills his father in the Kelvin timeline. Is this really necessary?

We get introduced to Dr. Pulaski in this episode (Gates McFadden had been fired for voicing opposition to the sexism of S1). I am pretty firmly in the anti-Pulaski camp and have been since I was 4 or 5? I find DeForest Kelley’s McCoy to be one of the worst characters in Trek, and a TNG doctor resembling crusty, racist, discriminatory McCoy is not what I wanted. Pulaski hates on Data in ways that are similar to the way McCoy treats Spock in TOS and that’s shit. But I have come to appreciate her scenes with Worf more and that her sickbay was research-heavy (a trend that would continue when Dr. Crusher comes back in S3). The list of Trek doctors I actually like is pretty short (Crusher is number one, Bashir a close second, Karl Urban’s McCoy a distant third, and who cares about the rest), and somehow, Pulaski is not at the bottom of that list.

Two great things happen in this episode: the Ten Forward set is introduced and Whoopi Goldberg’s Guinan is added to the cast. Unfortunately, Guinan draws the short straw in this episode and has to share her scenes with Wes. Goldberg was in her prime when she joined and it was awesome to see her character presented as incredibly wise, funny, friendly, loyal, and laid back. Plus those hats. Many of the best episodes featured Guinan and there’s a good reason for it. She was a complicated character who stayed complicated. We learned a bit more about her as the series wore on, but we never had a sense of knowing her. We knew about Guinan only what she wanted us to know, and I loved that. Plus, she’s close with Picard. Picard’s closest friendships on the ship are with women. What makes his friendship with Guinan so great is that they are friends not lovers. Not “just friends” but they share a friendship that goes beyond most typical relationships and is valued greatly by both parties. It doesn’t matter that it’s a platonic relationship; yet it’s valued because of its nature. Television 30 years ago wasn’t any better at providing examples of friendships between men and women without exploiting sexual tension than it is today. Relationships like this matter.

Can I talk about Ten Forward? Because I love the Ten Forward set. In S1 we occasionally see weird, largish rooms that serve as meeting spaces, lounges, and gathering spots in various episodes. But they’re all sort of nondescript and semi-permanent. Ten Forward is a great space and while initially designed as a rec space/bar for the crew, its creation helped propel TNG’s exploration of the crew’s nerdy interests. Without Ten Forward there’s no concerts, recitals, poetry readings, diplomatic functions, archeology talks, or plays. It’s an emergency shelter and it’s where you go to avoid a baryon sweep.

It’s a great looking space too. The two step rise to the seating area isn’t accessible but those steps are used frequently for tiered concert/play seating. I’m generally not a fan of the Enterprise’s textured/carpeted walls, but the two side walls with the notched square pattern and bench seating are visually great and practical. The tables have this black, pyramid entertainment unit (actually a game in real life called Pair Match; Star Trek often uses real games that look futuristic) which I always imagined was some sort of 24th century version of that bar trivia game (Who won the parrises squares Championship in 2324? Not Minsk. Don’t Bet-azoid on it. It was in the Stars. Correct Answer: Starfleet Academy). It has the best views on the ship. It provides us with opportunities to see a lot of visually interesting civilian clothing including the wait staff, who travel the galaxy serving drinks dressed all in patterned green outfits. I love those large wood doors with the Starfleet insignia on them.

My favourite part of Ten Forward, hands down, is the large, bronze, layered, and rippled art piece located behind the bar. I don’t love the green fluorescent light that borders the piece, but the piece itself is wonderful. I absolutely love it, so much that I want it in my own house. That it’s an impressionist view of the Milky Way Galaxy makes it even better.

While I think the flagship of the Federation that frequently hosts concerts and recitals as part of its diplomatic functions would probably have a dedicated concert hall somewhere on board, I still love seeing the ways this space is rearranged. Often the stage/performers are located where the bar is, but throughout the series, various spaces in the room are utilized depending on the project/event. What I love about this is it gives Dr. Crusher’s plays a community theatre vibe and when Riker performs with his band it’s like getting a gig at the local bar. Love it.

161. The Schizoid Man (TNG 206)

Dr. Ira Graves, who’s dying, claims to be Data’s “grandfather”.

This episode is also terrible. Early on in TNG we get several characters like Graves: dudes who are super smart and academically successful, but unfortunately full of themselves. These guys are often presented as genius scientists, and while they might be geniuses, at least in some sense, they’re deplorable people who are self-absorbed and very sexist. Graves is one of those dudes. The self-absorbed genius scientist who ignores his female campaign is a trope on this show for a reason.

This episode features the first/only? time we get an away team without any full humans (Worf, Data, Dr. Selar, a Vulcan, and Troi, who’s part-Betazoid), which is pretty cool. Dr. Solar appears only in this episode, but then is mentioned occasionally by Crusher for the rest of the series. Nice.

160. Up The Long Ladder (TNG 218)

The Enterprise discovers two human colonies, one a technological society peopled by clones; the other, the Bringloidi, are neo-transcendentalists who don’t use modern technology.

I can’t even with this episode. The Bringloidi are just ugh. Neo-transcendentalist in this episode means Irish peasant stereotypes and plenty of sexism. What the clone colony lacks in genetic variation they make up for in futuristic necklines. While their ancestors set out from the European Hegemony (blame Brexit for that name) to establish a colony in the 22nd century, it’s seems like even 200 years in the past someone would have said “why are all your colonists white?”

Riker and the informal leader of the Bringloidi, Brenna, share a mutual attraction and he washes her feet (he’s committed to his partner’s pleasure, more on that later). Things go from there. A scene was cut where Riker returned to the bridge after this encounter looking “satisfied” (so he had sex while on duty? It still seems like there’d be a rule against that?)

Sometimes it feels like Worf makes up Klingon words and rituals to get out of doing stuff he doesn’t want to do or to shame his coworkers (more power to him, shouldn’t the crew know more about Klingon culture, especially if they went to the Academy? They’ve been allies for years!). But this one doesn’t feel made up. He shares the Klingon tea ceremony with Pulaski, and in a rare move of understanding, Pulaski takes an antidote so she can fully participate. This is the first real glimpse we get that Worf is romantic and filled with this sort of passion. It’s about the only thing worth paying attention to in the episode.

159. Imaginary Friend (TNG 522)

A little girl’s imaginary friend becomes real and is fucking terrifying.

I hate this episode. It’s terrible. I don’t give a shit about the imaginary friend of a kid who we’re introduced to in the same episode, same goes for her dad. The only good thing about this episode is that it has a ball of light alien. Alien Isabella (the imaginary friend) is super creepy and has an Alice (of Through the Looking Glass fame) vibe though.

158. When the Bough Breaks (TNG 117)

Wesley must lead a group of Enterprise children when they’re abducted by a sophisticated race who can’t have children.

This episode is also bad. I’m all for exploring the dynamics of mixing work and personal life by having children aboard a starship but the problem when TNG does this, especially in the early years, is that it’s filtered through Wesley, a character I loathe. This episode does highlight the need for the Enterprise parents to organize a bit more, as Crusher is appointed to represent them in negotiations, but it all seems a little ad hoc.

Anyway, eventually the crew realize all these folks need to do is turn off their giant replicator that’s making them go infertile.

157. The Dauphin (TNG 210)

Wesley falls in love for the first time with another teen. She just happens to be the new leader of war-torn Daled IV.

They sure do visit a lot of fourth planets. Daled IV. Melona IV. Moab IV.

I don’t like this episode. It’s bad. There are some pretty terrible (by our standards) special effects in this episode but it’s also interesting to see how that stuff looked before the world of CGI.

Ok, the thing about Wesley is, he’s the worst and this episode features some of that. He’s fucking oblivious. He’s supposed to so smart and observant, but he tells Salia (the girl he falls in love with) that it’s a great time to be alive. I mean, he knows her role and what she has to deal with, and she articulates her fear and stress over being a teen who has to lead a war-torn planet and Wes just doesn’t see any of that.

Wesley is an entitled, self-absorbed, mediocre white boy who is constantly given praise and opportunities that he doesn’t often merit. We’re told from the beginning that he’s incredibly smart, and sure sometimes he saves the ship (although more than once he has to save the day because he’s jeopardized everything in the first place), but that still doesn’t merit a place on the bridge. Yes, he’s training for a career in Starfleet, but there are other teens on board doing the same thing and they don’t get extended bridge time. Plus, how smart is Wesley really? Like, the only student we get to see of a similar age is Jake Kurland, who steals a shuttle and almost manages to get himself killed (see S1 “Coming of Age”). So….not the Federation’s best and brightest. Wes always gets A’s but just can’t seem to pass that entrance exam to Starfleet Academy?

Early in the first season the Traveler tells Picard that Wesley is special and there’s not a whole lot to that. Wes has trouble getting into the academy, has trouble with courses while there, almost gets expelled; eventually drops out. That’s fine. Paramilitary organizations aren’t for everyone. Plus the Traveler meant Wes sees time and space differently. Cool. At the end of the 7th season we see Wes going off with the Traveler to pursue mind-bending feats. I can get behind that. He was just miscast as a keener trainee on the Enterprise. Enjoy the universe, Wes, I’m sure you’ll do great.

But then Star Trek Nemesis happens (although I’m sure many wish it didn’t) and there’s Wes, attending Riker and Troi’s wedding (spoiler, they end up together) in a Starfleet dress uniform with the rank of lieutenant junior grade (not making him a full lieutenant was some nice work by the writers). So like, what the fuck? Are we supposed to just chalk up the I can’t get into the Academy-now I’m in and class is hard-ugh I almost got expelled-oops now I dropped out to youthful indiscretion? That’s fine, life’s progressions rarely occur in a straight line and it does seem like Wes wasn’t ready for Starfleet when he was a teen and if he changes his mind later, good for him. Except the writers spent 3+ seasons telling us how great and gifted and wonderful he was. He was smartish, but everyone in the future is smart except the Pakleds (but even they had a sort of limited cunning). Sure he could do some transdimensional stuff, but that was with the Traveler’s help, and he ultimately gave that up.

He’s a mediocre dude (which is totally fine) who was given the universe and turned it down, but we’re supposed to think he’s the greatest thing to happen to the Federation since replicators. Ugh.

156. Manhunt (TNG 219)

Lwaxana Troi is on board and trying to find a husband.

I’m not a fan of when Lwaxana interrogates Deanna over her personal life, but fully respect a woman in her 50s being shown as having a voracious sexual appetite and interest in many partners of varying ages and appearances on TV. She’s sort of a 24th century Blanche Devereaux and the universe could use more Blanche (and Dorothy too). Also Mick Fleetwood plays an alien with a fish head who’s also a terrorist in this one.

155. Aquiel (TNG 613)

Geordi falls for a fellow officer, Aquiel Uhnari, who is assigned to an isolated relay station and is accused of killing her only co-worker, Keith Rocha.

Star Trek, and specifically TNG, love either a police investigation type episode or trial-esq episodes. I call these shows “Law & Order” episodes. This is a “Law & Order” episode, but it’s terrible, which is unfortunate since it focuses on Geordi and those usually have a “Geordi-is-hapless” vibe but this isn’t one of those episodes! He has a successful interaction with a potential romantic partner! It’s just almost unwatchable as an episode. Seriously, sooo bad.

Aside: there are some pretty shitty postings in Starfleet, and Uhnari and Rocha had one of them. This place is remote, small, isolated, has terrible work-life balance/separation and basically nothing to do for recreation. Plus every few days they get terrorized by a rogue Klingon. It seems like it must be a punishment somehow and for Uhnari it is. Her former commanding officer got her transferred here because she wasn’t a great officer. I’m so glad that shitty bosses are still a thing in our egalitarian future.

Spoiler: the dog did it (for real).

154. The Last Outpost (TNG 105)

The Ferengi are introduced.

I’m not a fan of the Ferengi (though DS9 gives Ferengi a fair shake and much greater depth). But holy hell, do Starfleet-Federation types say awful shit about them.

153. Where Silence Has Lease (TNG 202)

An alien traps the Enterprise to experiment on the crew and learn about humanity. Picard in return, threatens to activate the Enterprise’s self-destruct.

A series of weird things happen before they realize they’re “rats in a maze”; my favourite of which is when Riker and Worf beam over to the U.S.S. Yamato, a Galaxy-class starship that has appeared. The ship is empty and has a weird circularity to it, causing Worf to shout “One Riker! One bridge!” I enjoy the simple things.

Anyway, they meet the alien at the end of the episode and it’s a giant cat head floating in space. Definitely not worth the trip.

152. Lonely Among Us (TNG 107)

While transporting delegates to a neutral planet called Parliament an alien lifeform messes with the Enterprise computer and temporarily controls various crewmembers.

This episode isn’t really engaging for me, but one of the alien delegates eats another delegate from a different alien species, so if that’s your thing, watch.

151. Heart of Glory (TNG 120)

Worf is tested when three Klingon fugitives come aboard.

The Klingons are somewhat silly in this episode but I like how they build a weapon out of their boots. Also, we getting a glimpse of Geordi’s VISOR vision, which is helpful in the sense that it answers, what does the VISOR help Geordi see? It’s boring and not remarkable but finally Worf has something to do.

150. The Outrageous Okona (TNG 204)

A rakish freighter captain seeks repairs, dragging the Enterprise into an interplanetary feud.

Ughhhh this episode is terrible and irritating to watch. Okona’s kind of vanilla when you get down to it, but as an early entry in the Trek Vest Pageant (there are A LOT of vests on Star Trek, especially DS9 and Voyager, more on this later), his attire is passable. I think we’re supposed to be alarmed? that he almost immediately has sex with the transporter chief, Teri Hatcher (I’m more alarmed that her quarters are so small the bed is right in front of her door?), but Picard tells him he’s free to socialize with the crew, so why would we care? Also, Okona talks to Wes a lot and that’s strike two. Finally, he gets the Enterprise entangled in a battle between two dipshit dads/planetary rulers who think a family heirloom has been stolen/a daughter’s honour is compromised because she is pregnant and not married. Really? Are we still doing this with the sexist tropes? Ugh.

149. The Naked Now (TNG 103)

The crew is exposed to an illness that causes them to behave in unusual ways with little inhibition.

There are many things I could say about this episode, but let’s focus on the fact that Data and Yar have sex. I could write a lot about why Tasha feels so much shame about this (he’s an android and she’s got some discriminatory baggage to unpack, they hardly know each other, they were under the influence, she has strict beliefs about sex, she alludes to possible past sexual assault) but I won’t here.

Yar asks, “You are fully functional, aren’t you?” and Data replies that he is fully function, programmed in multiple techniques, a wide variety of pleasuring which is a terrific response.

So what does that mean? I’ve actually been asked if Data can have sex a lot. Which is a weird question to get asked, but does mean I’ve spent some time thinking about it. So these are my thoughts on Data’s sexual programming.

Data has a fully functional penis, capable of erections. I firmly believe Data has multiple vibration settings as well as variable pulse settings. I suspect Data can program customs erections to suit his and his partner’s/partners’ needs (variable length, girth, firmness, optional ribbing etc.). He probably has lubrication functions (for when he penetrates but also for when he’s penetrated) and can simulate ejaculation if he wants to. It’s likely he has a warming function. He has all the functionality of a German sex toy while being, you know, an actual person.

I suspect Data’s is programmed in a wide variety of sexual techniques common to earth but doesn’t have a bias towards penis-in-vagina sex and is therefore programmed for anal, oral, and manual sex. Dr. Noonian Soong, Data’s creator, was a mostly solitary figure who hung out in isolated human colonies so I suspect Data isn’t programmed for any sort of proficiency at Klingon sex or Vulcan pon farr rituals. Though as we see in S4 “In Theory” Data is willing to update his programming to add files on romantic relationships, I bet he’s willing to do that for mating rituals.

148. Coming of Age (TNG 119)

Wesley goes to take his final exams for Starfleet Academy (spoiler: HE FAILS) while Admiral Quinn and Lt. Cmdr. Remmick interrogate and evaluate the Enterprise crew.

I’m not super interested in Wes’ future career though I do like that he’s forced to make a decision about who lives and who dies and gains an appreciation for Picard in the process (don’t worry! It was all a simulation! No one was actually harmed by Wesley’s choices!)

Remmick is that exact sort of sniveling weasel you cast for this sort of interrogation, so well done casting agent. I like that this episode puts a seed of doubt about Starfleet in the back of our heads that gets explored later.

147. Skin of Evil (TNG 123)

A rescue mission to save Troi and her shuttle crew results in the death of Tasha Yar.

I love/hate this episode. Like, it’s terribly written and the production value is awful, plus Yar dies and that’s shit. But I also kind of love that she’s killed in the most meaningless way by Armus, the malevolent entity made of black tar-like liquid, who controls Vagra II. Anyway, the shuttle crew is rescued but everyone is sad.

Yar was great. She was a very active and methodical security chief who could kick ass whereas Worf was like “I am Klingon,” which, fair enough. She had great chemistry with everyone (except Bev because I don’t think they share a scene alone together ever? The closest they come is when Crusher is attempting to revive dead Yar) and I actually would have loved to see her get together with Riker (even though I sort of hate crew romances). Tasha dying in ridiculous fashion does present the opportunity to bring her back in an alternate timeline and every episode featuring alt. Yar/Sela is exceedingly excellent.

146. Sub Rosa (TNG 714)

Dr. Crusher attends her grandmother’s funeral and ends up falling for her grandma’s ghost lover (seriously).

WTF THIS EPISODE. Things start off straightforward enough, as the writers kill off another family member (there’s some serious loss running through that ship, but more on Enterprise orphans and parental abandonment later). Bev’s middle-aged so her grandma dying doesn’t feel out of the blue. Unfortunately, the Enterprise doesn’t just warp away and go do something else for the next 40 minutes.

The planet was terraformed to be like the Highlands in Scotland (umm why?) which gives the Enterprise a reason to stick around and repair some weather systems. Cool. Bev collects a candle, a family heirloom, and her grandmother’s journals. Anyway, lighting the candle summons the ghost-lover Ronin, who is 34 years old (and played by the same dude who plays First Minister Shakaar, one of Kira’s lovers on DS9), and is responsible for several scenes with Bev having ghost-vapour orgasms? It’s awkward.

But not as awkward as the scene in Ten Forward with Troi and Bev talking about Crusher’s grandma’s journals. At first, Bev thinks her experience with Ronin is a dream and tells Troi about it. Cool. Crusher describes how physical it was and that Ronin knew exactly where she likes to be touched and that she was quite aroused. All of this is cool and something people talk about? But then it gets really awkward. Crusher says “I fell asleep after reading a particularly erotic chapter in her grandmother’s journal” detailing Grandma Howard’s sexual encounters with Ronin, which is a sentence that should never have been written. Not that grandmothers can’t have erotic chapters, but more that why is Bev reading and sharing this? Anyway, Troi suggests Bev keep using her grandma’s private journals as her own Ronin porn.

WTF is an appropriate reaction to this episode.

145. Tin Man (TNG 320)

The Enterprise hopes to make contact with a power space being, dubbed “Tin Man,” before the Romulans, and enlists the help of Tam Elbrum, a super powerful Betazoid and former patient of Troi’s, to do so.

The whale sounds in this episode are worse than in Star Trek IV. Also, the Romulan commander has the worst/best? Messy wig. I loathe this episode.

144. The Final Mission (TNG 409)

Wesley Crusher finally leaves the show, but not before crashing on a physically hot (lots of salty sweat stains!) moon and taking care of an injured Captain Picard.

I don’t like this episode because I loathe Wesley more than most of the characters in the Star Trek universe, but he’s also leaving so it’s a bit nice. Picard has some nice moments in this episode where you see he’s grown to generally like Wes but also that interacting with the teen causes a nostalgic reflection in the much older man.

Can we talk about how hard it was for Noted Genius Wesley CrusherTM to get into the academy? He’s frequently saving the ship from certain doom even though they’ve got a brain like Data’s as back-up, yet he fails the entrance exam the first time he takes it? Does this seem likely? Sure Picard tells him he failed his first time too, but like Wes has all this practical training and Starfleet’s best officers instructing him and he still flubs it? Then he waits two years to take the exam again and passes but skips the oral exam because he’s making sure he gets all the credit for saving Troi and Riker from the Ferengi. I mean, Nog learned to read at 16 and three years later he’s a cadet. That’s not to take anything away from Nog, just that we’re constantly told about how smart Wes is and like, he just doesn’t bring it when it counts? He gets into the academy without apparently having passed that oral exam because another student drops out. I’m just saying, when it comes to his studies, Wes reminds me of that mediocre dude from high school who all the teachers thought was brilliant but was kind of a fuck up? He also seems like the kind of dude who claim it’s Starfleet Academy’s affirmative action admittance policy that’s kept him out for so long.