DailyME 52: There’s a barrier I can’t cross

There’s a step I can’t take

I can’t start dating someone else

Even If I like someone, even it kinda makes sense, even if he’s kind and cute and caring…

I can’t

Because it doesn’t really make sense

Because I am not ready

Not ready to move on, not ready to be in a relationship with someone.

Besides, I want the next relationship to be the last

And it will be

And it will be the love they write books about and shoot movies about

It will be the love like no other

And exactly what I want

It will be everything I’ve dreamt about

But for now…

I am not ready

For anything

But fun with my friends and lots of goals and dreams I still have to fulfill and pursue

It is a shame I hate myself sometimes for the choices I’ve made

It is a shame he is somewhere there and not here hugging me and kissing me with those otherwordly kisses…

But that’s ok…

It was his choice

He said he’d never hurt me, but that’s what they all say

He said I was the last person he wanted to hurt

And he did

So what does it even matter what he said?

Everything was a lie

Strategic move

Manipulation

And I went for it

And I deserve a round of slaps and the constant reminder to never get into a situation like that ever again

That’s why our picture with him (from the second date) is still on my windowsill

It serves as a reminder

To not be an idiot and fall for a guy like that

It serves as a reminder

To not be stupid and take time, not rush into things

It serves as a reminder

To wait for someone who’s worth all the pain I’ve been through

♥

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Thank you for reading ♥

Previously on DailyME’s:

1–2–3–4–5–6–7–8–9–10–11–12–13–14–15–16–17–18–19–20–21–22–23–24–25–26–27–28–29–30–31–32–33–34–35–36–37–38–39–40–41–42–43–44–45–46–47–48–49–50–51

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