9. Putting it to bed
I’ll put this thing to bed as they say…
I did keep the brand going online for a few months by baking in a super small bakery located about an hour from Selma — just to keep the Amazon business going. I also started working with a bakery in TN that I thought could help me relaunch — as my plan was to pivot to direct-to-consumer online rather than traditional retail. Ultimately that fell thru as well for a number of reasons I won’t bore you with.
Honestly, during the next year I was able to see that my time was better spent in higher value areas — consulting helped me see that. To continue with the cookie business was “throwing good money at bad” …and it was a dream that needed to be put in my rearview, it just took me awhile to get there mentally.
As I look back at those years, I can’t believe all that happened and all that I learned. It was the hardest and most grueling experience I’ve had in my life so far — almost 10 years in total. It was also a “growing” period for me in a lot of areas of my life that I never expected….always a silver lining.
My grandmother’s life verse was Proverbs 3:5–6. When I graduated from high school she gave me a framed print of it — it still sits on my desk today almost 20 years later.
I also put it on the wall in the packaging facility in her honor but also as a reminder to me.
This may be weird for some of you to read, but from the beginning I felt like the Lord led me to start the business in 2009, BUT if I’m being honest the whole experience rocked my faith.
There were times in that journey when I felt like the verse was “hogwash” just to be frank, especially towards the end. “Trusting You got me here, huh?!”, I said so many times!
One day in particular after a few hours of crating the equipment I had spent years trying to acquire and set up I remember looking up at that scripture and it feeling so heavy…I ended up laying face down on the floor for about 15 minutes.
It was one of those moments I knew I needed to make a choice, and even though I didn’t believe it, I needed to say it, “I trust You.” That’s all I could get out as I felt so empty.
All of the above probably sounds over dramatic, but we all have those defining moments in our lives and this was certainly one of those for me — one that I’m still processing. In that verse the part, “lean not on your own understanding” was the part that was slapping me in the face.
I definitely didn’t understand …but at that point I didn’t have much of a choice but to trust HIM.
..and maybe that’s the point …maybe that’s the point of it all.
FINAL POST — NEXT: 10. Reasons it failed and what I’d do different
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