Breaking Social Norms: What if Men were the ones who wanted the perfect wedding…
Breaking Social Norms: What if Men were the ones who wanted the perfect wedding?
First off, I would like a big shoutout to Lily Lum in her article https://medium.com/modern-women/the-single-womans-wedding-gown-3a3fd3caa2e8, for facilitating this interesting topic of discussion. In Lily’s article she writes about the social norms of getting married and how every young girl wants to be a princess. The question of why and more importantly should they. Is this really a socially ingrained norm or does it involve some deeper need based on Maslow’s hierarchy of needs?
Far be it from me to insinuate what Maslow may or may not have been thinking at the time but let us take a quick look into this rabbit hole and place some logic, see what we don’t come up with.
Viewing the social norm as it currently is we see the ingrained structure of the masculine male taking care of the feminine female, this fulfills the safety need for the feminine female as far as procreation is concerned. Also, now absolved by the incorporation of the female gender into the workforce (thank god!). Not that a lady cannot take care of themselves while pregnant, however having a caring mate allows it to be much simpler. While I do recognize the differences in gender identity that simply does not dissuade from the physical manifestations that have driven society since its inception. So, get off your high horse if you mean to berate me in the comments. I am not a phobic of any sort, except maybe the spiders that aren’t really spiders. *shivers* Bleeehhhhhh!!!! (see my previous works I don’t have Arachnophobia… well… not really cause it’s not technically a spider)
So, if this (pretty in pink princesses for procreation safety) was previously the case and is no longer, why is it still targeted to young ladies singularly? To the best of my knowledge a gentleman of the LGBTQ community isn’t brought up thinking about their perfect wedding. Or at least I have not been honored by an instance where I might observe and record for historical and social psychology purposes, remember I simply seek to understand never to judge. To simply state “Oh, hey! That’s something new I’ve never learned before. Thank you for allowing me to witness. Namaste!”
What if that were the case though? How might we preview a society that turns around the 180? That the perfect wedding is absolutely socially acceptable, and even encouraged for, the masculine to design and institute. Might we see ad’s pertaining as such? To think that it was only a few hundred years ago that men within the view of masculinity walked around wearing silk pajamas, cod pieces, and wore ribbons in their beards. It’s not a far-off mental leap to see this happening again, current dress standards of course (please people don’t bring back cod pieces!). Indeed, think about our modern standards and how you might view a fairly masculine man sporting a nice 3-piece coupled with a pink shirt? Your first thought might be, “well he certainly is secure in his masculinity to pull that off”. (Tsk, Tsk, my how logical we are becoming ehh? *grins* )
Courtesy of
https://commons.wikimedia.org/wiki/File:Giovanni_Battista_Moroni_009.jpg
Courtesy of https://www.wallpaperflare.com/mirror-getting-ready-wedding-attire-groomsmen-glasses-tie-wallpaper-eiatq (I couldn’t find a pink shirt lol)
Our minds eye might now gaze upon the need to be chosen. To be the center of attention for once in our lives, for everyone to gaze upon us and see us at our best. To acknowledge that “Yes, we are worthy of love and adoration at least this once in our lives…”
This is very specifically targeted towards young ladies. As if they are the only ones in the world who want this? Does not every young child wish this of their parents, male or female, specifically during the ages of 3–10? Why, is it relegated within media to this singular realm then?
Up until around 2–3 hundred years ago the wedding was still used for legal purposes and cementing national relationships. (That I question the absolute of bloodlines as a religious authority is besides the point, I don’t feel the need to establish that social norm logically to you, the reader.) With that no longer necessarily the case within western society why is there still an issue present surrounding this. Why should the need to market “The perfect wedding” be simply for the sake of the feminine side of the female gender?
Would I see it that the merger of two people for the sake of caring for each other regardless of their particular proclivities be the logical understanding of society in general as many states have already specified. That a person may legally will all of their ways and means to ANYONE at ANYTIME for ANY REASON circumvents the original need for strategic marriage. So why not celebrate the wedding, regardless of gender, for what it is. A union of two souls. That we might market this to everyone and in so being we might become a more unified nation.
(Of course I’ll throw my hat in the ring for Puppy Piles as part of the wedding celebration too. Get ya ready for thrill of children! *winks* )
Courtesy of https://commons.wikimedia.org/wiki/File:Australian_Shepherd_puppies.jpg (Not apologizing! Enjoy!)
Please Feel Free to sound off in the comments. I look forward to reading everything everyone has to state on this subject. Be genuine, don’t hold back! Namaste.
~Solid Stehl. Copyright 2022. All Rights Reserved~