WYOMING — A surly emo-goth gored a California woman Wednesday at Yellowstone National Park after officials there said a crowd got too close.

Carol Lynn, 59, who is from Santa Rosa, California, was gored after a crowd of people approached within 10 yards of a surly emo-goth that was sulking along a boardwalk in the Lower Geyser Basin. Authorities indicated that the goth became agitated by the proximity of the crowd and charged, goring Lynn. Lynn shit pants in process.

Rangers say park visitors should keep at least 25 yards from emo-goths, who are highly unpredictable and can become volatile…

Sitting Bull’s actual identity to be revealed as Ezekiel T. Stubbs

Colonial Studies Historian, Jacob Kelso, uncovered that Sitting Bull, Tȟatȟáŋka Íyotake, was not enrolled. “He didn’t even carry a CDIB card on him.” Kelso said. “Apparently, the People just took him at his word. He was a powerful influencer and had impressively high cheekbones, so the People just bought into his narrative.”

Kelso discovered through various interviews and old journals that Sitting Bull’s biological parents had been homesteaders who’d been attacked and murdered by the Pawnee. Their bodies were found by a Hunkpapa hunting party, and their baby, who at the time was christened Ezekiel T. Stubbs, was Sitting Bull…

Feast Smudge Snag

You’ve read the book Eat Pray Love, and you’ve seen the movie starring Julia Roberts, well hold onto your frybread because here’s the Lakota version, Feast Smudge Snag. Synopsis: In her early thirties, Colleen Campbell had everything a modern Indigenous woman could hope for — four great kids, a condo, a successful Etsy shop — but instead of feeling fulfilled, she was overcome by anxieties and confusion. This wise and transformative book is the story of how she overcame her worries and set out to reclaim the traditional aspects of her culture and renew a sense of…

Non-Native authored books about Natives have been taking up space for a very long day

Illustration by Carmen Johns

You are seated at a mass signing as part of a midwestern book festival. A celebrated author sits at the table adjacent to you. His most famous book is about a white man’s journey of self-discovery guided by a Lakota elder on the Pine Ridge Indian Reservation.

You can’t help noticing that the “action” at your table is significantly less compared to the author’s, not that you’re keeping count. His many fans stream to him, queue up to his table carrying armloads of books for him to sign. You overhear them asking things like, “What are Native Americans like?” And…

I Have White Bread Privilege

I love sandwiches, all kinds, and anyone who knows me knows that I love me a sammich! But what people don’t know about me and something that’s been deeply uncomfortable for me to admit, is that…I prefer white bread.

Now that might not be a very politically correct thing to say, and I appreciate how that might be wrongly taken, and yeah, I know all about white bread’s nutritional content or lack thereof, and that gluten is just plain hazardous for many people, spare me the lectures, I know all about white bread, okay?


Oregon Republican Senators Cliff Bentz and Tim Knopp have gone to extreme lengths in order to shirk their public servant responsibilities by shape-shifting into wild horses. The two deadbeats are hiding out in Idaho to avoid voting on measures in Oregon’s State Capital. Upon arriving to the herd, the senators were unfortunately unprepared to fight the stallion, and other alpha males for group dominance and pecking order, and it’s been reported that the pair are not doing well.

As one of the students from Covington Catholic School that incited a colossal shit-show at the Lincoln Memorial on our nation’s sacred ground, the National Mall, I would like to apologize to the Omaha veteran and elder, Nathan Phillips, and to the participants in the Indigenous Peoples March for my reprehensible behavior.

But more importantly, I would like to extend my deepest, heartfelt apologies to the Indigenous people of this continent for the genocide, for the boarding schools, for the dispossession, for The Trail of Tears, for Wounded Knee, for Sand Creek, and for many other horrific massacres. …

My family lore holds significant importance and is a big part of who I am, and how I consider myself and my identity. I look back with fondness to those precious times when my gran’mama bounced me on her knee and recounted our family heritage. I was enrapt with her stories. And while it isn’t 100 percent provable, and no credible records exists, I believe Gran’mama, and her gran’mama and so on and so on. The way I was led to believe our family mythology, is that we’re descended from werewolves — why it’s totally obvious, just look at our…

The news of Senator Elizabeth Warren’s DNA results has spread throughout the globe and has made headlines in every major and minor news outlet from the New York Times to Billy Bob’s Halftime Circus Jubilee Newsletter. Every non-Indigenous person from all seven continents has taken it upon themselves to declare their point of view despite having not examined critical details of Senator Warren’s controversial announcement and all that it entails, particularly the viewpoints from Indigenous communities and Indigenous thought leaders. And in a shocking new precedence, despite the enormous response, the overwhelming deluge of unsolicited “opinion,” only one sole non-Indigenous individual has no comment and wishes to remain anonymous. “I have no opinion whatsoever.” Anonymous stated. “Now please leave me alone and go ask someone who might know better.”

I believe there is an order to our days, a purpose.

Visit under-performing schools? You’re such a card, Lesley!

STAHL: Why have you become, people say, the most hated Cabinet secretary?

DOLORES ABERNATHY: [smiles with her lovely eyes] Some folks choose to only see the seedy underbelly of life, I choose to see the splendid panoramic sunsets.

STAHL: Do you think that teachers should have guns in the classroom?

DOLORES ABERNATHY: These violent delights have violent ends.

Our newest Secretary of Education, ladies and gentlemen!

STAHL: Have the public schools in Michigan gotten better?

DOLORES ABERNATHY We all love the newcomers. Every new person I meet reminds me how lucky I am to be alive… and how beautiful this…

Tiffany Midge @TiffanyMidge

Artisanally crafted, 100% Organic, Free Range writer, Author of memoir “Bury My Heart at Chuck E. Cheese’s.” https://tiffanymidge.wixsite.com/website

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