Homage and Aversion
This is the 6th day of a chronicle of a 14-day meditation retreat at the Pa Auk Tawya in Pyin Oo Lwin, Myanmar. Published days are available via the links below:
Day Five — The Power Sublime Abiding
No need to read in order. Depending on what interests you, there will be days that you definitely don’t want to explore. Today I feel grateful for Burma and its über precious “gems” but still manage to generate a palpable amount of aversion.
Note: In editing my chronicle, I have added supplemental information about Pali terms and Buddhist concepts to attempt to make the experience easier to read. Please check the links and do further research always. There is a lot to understand and I still consider myself among the Dhamma uninitiated.
3:30 AM — I hit the snooze. I slept all night without a bowel movement or desire to urinate. Even though I slept well, I was not jumping out of bed to chant.
Wrong Effort
This mental/spiritual work is hard. Is it because I am getting it all wrong? I’ve heard that the right effort, right mindfulness, and right concentration required for jhana (or unwavering) concentration on the meditation object are energizing. Maybe the wrong effort, wrong mindfulness, and wrong concentration are enervating? Must be. All I do is sit down all day, but somehow, like a lazy boy, I don’t want to get up first thing in the morning.
I’m so tired. I must try to sleep all night again tomorrow. Should I have done more these intense meditation retreats years ago when I was younger? Would it be easier to train now?
4:00 AM — The stars are bright and the moonlit the path up the hill. These celestial lights are my morning coffee. I feel alive as soon as I see them.
There was no need for a jacket last night. I am wearing one now, but that’s because I’d been tucking myself into bed with a jacket on.
Today it’s humid as usual, but not so cold.
8:30 AM — Diarrhea is gone. My stomach stopped hurting too. I am at peace, even with my training. Concentration improved. The last hour after breakfast was so serene.
Holy Burma
Myanmar is a holy land. With each passing moment in training, I am extremely grateful to the leaders of this nation for preserving this sincere Buddhist culture. I’ve traveled the world but nowhere else has afforded me such a fantastic opportunity to train.
The opportunity is like a prestigious scholarship. Room and board are provided to study at an elite institution.
Burma has preserved the most important opportunity I can think of: The rare opportunity to trod down the path that leads to the cessation of suffering (or the fourth noble truth) in the company of amazing people over bowls of delicious Burmese fare.
In a Burmese monastery like the Pa Auk Tawya, you can walk the entire path (called the noble path) for free. Biggup Burma!
While I am not sure I want to walk the whole path [and may not even possess the qualities required to do so] I am grateful for the opportunity because the little bit I am walking is awe-inspiring. I truly appreciate every moment here: I am not cultivating faith, I am scientifically removing doubt and uncertainty.
The Triple Gem
That’s precious. Each moment, even the numerous difficult occasions where I am at my wit’s end, in training is. It’s like marveling at an invaluable stone.
As a Capoeira student with a deep respect for the succession of teachers that provided me the opportunity to practice that most amazing art, I am grateful for the teachers here. That gratitude extends all the way back to their teachers (aka the Sangha) for sharing and preserving the wisdom (aka the Dhamma) that the original teacher (aka the Buddha) revealed.
We pay homage to our teachers (like Mestre Bimba) in Capoeira with our music and dance. We even aspire to preserve their original teachings in homage to their efforts to share something so beautiful and valuable with us.
Similarly, I want to pay homage to the triple gem (a term that refers to the Buddha, the Dhamma, and the Sangha). I figure that sharing this chronicle publicly is one of the few ways I can do that.
I also want to pay homage to Burma. Burma gets a lot of bad press in the Western world. That is shameful. There should be much a lot more coverage of its Ābhivaṃsa scholar monks, renowned meditation masters, pindapata culture, and other wholesome traditions that seeped into society over centuries and are thoroughly infused into the Burmese way of life.
9:30 AM — Today I was so overwhelmed by the beauty of what I’ve encountered in Pyin Oo Lwin that I couldn’t stop paying homage to the triple gem. I am hooked on this place. Surely I shouldn’t have been reflecting on Burma and the triple gem in the middle of training, but concentrating solely on in-breaths and out-breaths is really mission impossible.
Aversion
Even after taking medication to prevent gas, my insides create quantities of methane that would make a heifer blush.
All of us in the meditation hall are battling this affliction. Some of us relieve ourselves quietly. Others let that noxiousness rip like a starting lawnmower.
This constant cacophony of rapidly clapping buttocks can stir ire in even the most serene moments in the sitting of an aspiring yogi.
Be sure to radiate adequate amounts of mettā if indiscrete farting annoys you.
3:30 PM — Concentration is not a panacea. I seemed to have unwittingly acquired a bit of exuberance after this morning’s peaceful session.
As a consequence, there was some latent desire that I wasn’t mindful of at the start of my sitting. After a few draws on the air of the meditation hall, I realized it was there.
Foolishly, I chose to ignore it believing that just concentrating on the breath would make it go away. That plan didn’t work. I wasted yet another session.
Professor Zumbi is a certified Capoeira teacher. He received his teaching qualification in the presence of great Capoeira masters like Mestre Suassuna and Mestre Acordeon. Zumbi organizes Capoeira Retreats that conclude with an introduction to Ānāpānasati at a highly acclaimed meditation center.
Professor Zumbi is not a meditation teacher and this is not a meditation guide. Zumbi’s meditation articles are written to share thoughts and personal experiences. Please find a qualified teacher if you want to undertake Ānāpānasati. Follow your teacher and forget everything you’ve read here.
