Perception and Reality (The Ship of Relationship -6)
The Ship of Relationship 1 — Prevent the Ship of Relationship from Drowning!
The Ship of Relationship 2 — Strengthen the Ship of Relationship!
The Ship of Relationship 3 — Fake it, but with a Genuine Heart!
The Ship of Relationship 4 — Assume, and help the ship sink!
Shreya, an 8-year-old girl, belonged to a middle-class family. One day, she was trying to gift wrap a box. Being a small kid, not so good at packing, she ended up wasting a lot of it. While she was busy doing that, Harish, her father, entered the room. Seeing the wastage, he immediately scolded the child. After three days, it was his birthday. That day, Shreya got up early and ran straight away to wish her dad and gave him a gift. This was the same box! He happily accepted and felt a little sad for scolding her as that day, she was doing it for him. But as soon as he the box, he found it empty. Furious, he shouted, “don’t you know you should not give an empty box as a gift.” The little girl broke into tears, looked up at her dad and said, “Dad, it’s not at all empty. I blew kisses into the box. They’re all for you.”
“Your perception of the world is not necessarily the same as what is actually occurring.” — Peter Ralston
Perception is ‘what we think is the truth’. Reality is ‘the truth’. Mistaking perception to be a reality, people often end up harming the relationships. Perception is often clouded by — i) the ‘atmavat manyate jagat’ effect (one sees the world just as one sees himself), ii) past experiences, iii) limited experiences, iv) cognitive biases, v) imperfect senses, and vi) our expectations.
Just look at the above image. What do you think it’s made of? Think for a few seconds before you continue reading. Now, go ahead… Based on our limited experiences, most of you will perceive it to be a normal art made of colours. But what if you are told that it’s made of living organisms and that this art is very artistically created inside a petri-dish (a circular transparent plate used for the culture of microorganisms). Shocked? Just google ‘microbiology arts or agar arts’. These are actually bacterias which produce different colour in different media and can be grown in a particular shape.
It all depends on how we look at things, and not how they are in themselves.— Carl Jung
Relationships are often strained when we equate perception with reality. Because of the cloud, our perception may not be always right, similar to the father’s experience in the story and your experience with the art. Though the father perceived the gift as empty, it was actually filled with lots of love!
How to deal with this cloud? Through open communication and by understanding human limitations. Shreya was trying to strengthen the relationship, but instead, it became more strained because of her father’s lack of open communication and human limitations.
In Bhagavad-gita chapter 10, Krishna informs Arjuna, “I am God”. Arjuna didn’t let the cloud form. He didn’t think, “Just because you are my friend, do you think I will believe any non-sense?” No. Instead, he immediately requested Krishna for substantiating His words. Happily accepting the request, Krishna showed His universal form to Arjuna (details in Chapter 11 of Bhagavad-gita). Thus, their relationship was strengthened.
Go ahead. Don’t confuse perception with reality. Let’s acknowledge our limitations, discuss instead of assuming and strengthen the ship of relationship.
Credit: Special thanks to Anu Jain for suggesting the agar art for this article.
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My personal suggestion: Please read the Bhagavad Gita As It Is by HDG A.C. Bhaktivedanta Swami Prabhupada for deeper insights.
