That Day Technology Really Tested My Patience

A hit

Photo by Luca Bravo on Unsplash

Setting: My living room. Evening. Me, wrestling with my laptop.

Me (grumbling): Okay, just… upload. It’s a small file. What’s the hold up?

(Laptop screen displays the spinning wheel of doom for a solid minute.)

Me (slightly louder): Seriously? We’ve been over this. You’re supposed to make my life *easier*, not feel like I’m trying to communicate with a particularly stubborn snail.

(The upload bar inches forward by approximately 0.0001%. A notification pops up: “System Update Available.”)

Me (through gritted teeth): Oh, you’ve *got* to be kidding me. Now? Right now, when I’m trying to meet a deadline that was already hampered by your glacial pace?

(Clicking furiously, trying to dismiss the update.)

Photo by Clint Patterson on Unsplash

Laptop (in its silent, passive-aggressive way): Preparing to update… Do not turn off your computer.

Me (pleadingly): But… but the deadline! The internet is barely functioning as it is! You’ll be stuck in update purgatory for the next three business days!