The Best Worst Thing

Over the summer, I wrote a pilot script for a hypothetical TV series about a young couple, dealing with life after a baby in the neonatal intensive care unit (NICU). A dark comedy inspired and informed very much by my experience over the last four years with my 4-year-old son, who arrived…

Dear Son, I’m Sorry

Dear Son,

By the time you’re able to read this, I’m confident that this will all be ancient history. For you, no memory, just a story we tell, the irrelevant reality of your first months of life, and, for us, something from the past that we try hard not to think about.

Advice to NICUs

My wife and I spent seven weeks in the neonatal intensive care unit (NICU) with our 4-year-old, and ten weeks in the NICU with our baby, home just a couple of weeks ago. I am so grateful for the care that both of my sons received, by dedicated, highly competent doctors and nurses. The fact that my…

The Hardest Part

Let me cut to the chase. The hardest part of having a baby in the NICU is having to forget that this is your baby, and he’s living alone in a box. Even if my wife or I can be there for four, five, six hours a day — that’s still eighteen, nineteen, twenty hours a day that he’s all alone, no one…

The Romanticized Wish for “Normal”

In these first two weeks since our baby was born, I keep coming back to that wish that we could have had a “normal” experience this time, a “normal” first few months with a baby who wasn’t quite so fragile, an “easy” transition from one child to two — ha!

Glad to be Home; Home is still Hard

Finishing up five days with our son at home. Have to keep reminding myself this is real — we do not have to check Metro-North train times and worry about snow and make sure we have someone to watch our four-year-old. People say, “it must be great to have him home!”…

Why You Can’t Make Friends in the NICU

A bunch of people — this time and last time with our 4-year-old — have asked us if we’ve made any friends in the NICU. “At least you can bond with the other parents… right?”

Good Days, Bad Days, and Why I Don’t Like Hockey

Last night, my wife and I were talking about our NICU experience this time as opposed to four years ago—has the pace of progress been faster or slower, how was the weight gain, how many days were good days and how many days weren’t so good?

Update from Preemieville

Our two-pound baby is now a thriving, healthy fifteen-pound giant. 3rd percentile on the growth chart, so maybe not a giant… but that’s 3rd percentile for his chronological age (7 months, 1 week), not his adjusted age (4 months, 3 weeks) — he’s on the chart!

The End is in Sight = The Beginning is in Sight

Okay, since I last wrote, some big steps forward. Our baby is in an open crib, he’s taking some of his feeds by bottle… he’s getting there. Still some oxygen support, still not taking every feed by mouth, but the trajectory is good, the end is in…