Can You Use Your Anger to Show Love?
Looking past the hurt and finding solutions together.
For those of you following my articles, you know I have recently joined the therapy train.
It has been challenging to see where some of my sadness and anger originate.
From being told I’m possibly dying at an accelerated pace compared to most to the realization of how sad I am for the little girl I once was.
I’ve heard it before,
“Anger is a sign that something needs to change.” — Unknown.
I consider this anger to be healthy, not involving violence or requiring anger management, but rather awakening.
I’m also not someone who enjoys confrontation.
I believe everyone has their “truth” and side of things, and I believe not everyone sees or processes everything the same way as others.
Therefore, it makes confrontation challenging because I have an awareness that making something hurtful to me doesn’t make it bad or wrong.
I have to remind myself that just because I don’t think they are wrong doesn’t mean it doesn’t still hurt and doesn’t need to be addressed.
Therefore, when I am angry or upset, I find it challenging to let the person know they have hurt me, especially if it is someone close to me.
However, I believe now more than ever that it is vital to my mental health as well as the health of my relationships, whether it be with my spouse, children, family, or even friends, to have those hard conversations and make sure nothing is left unsaid.
Because of the struggles I’ve been encountering lately with sadness and anger, I have had a few of these difficult conversations. One of which was with my husband.
Thankfully, my husband has always been supportive in any way he can. As he’s grown and matured, he’s been able to see past any form of attack he may feel and realize my words are not meant with malicious intent but instead trying to communicate the best way I know how.
After a long conversation the other day, it occurred to me.
One of the most significant ways to show our love towards one another is through our anger, sadness, and difficult conversations.
I’d go as far as to say that it is through those hard conversations that many marriages could be saved.
We live in a society that is so quick to point out “toxic traits” and “red flags” that we very rarely remember that we are all humans doing the best we can.
Part of loving one another is to notice things that might be considered “toxic traits” or “red flags,” and when it comes to your spouse, you have to have those conversations.
You are not only remembering that they are human but also remembering that you are human.
We all have a past; we all have some form of trauma. We all have things that could be considered a “red flag” to others.
The actual, true act of love is to have those conversations, look past the hurt, find solutions, and love one another through it together.
Thank you to all who took the time to read this to the end. Your continued love and support mean the world to me. I’d love to know in the comments, what are some ways you love through complex or challenging times?
*If you are experiencing forms of anger, feel free to check out my latest article on how to eliminate anger almost entirely below:
Want to Write About Love?:
*Tammie is an aspiring health and life coach with a background in the school system. She has worked with kids from preschool through sixth grade and the SPED and library departments. She has three kids, two dogs, and one amazing husband. You can often find her sitting on her front porch and watching all the cool kids play in her yard. You can also find her at https://www.tammie-fralick.com.
