I’ve lost a potential friend, and perhaps, boyfriend.
I couldn’t help but wonder what if I had given him a chance? Would my love life be blooming like how I dream it would? I will never know the answer to that now.
The Story
How we met was so random back in 2018. I was 15, and he was 17. I recalled vividly; I was at a bubble tea shop right behind my school buying lunch for my then-boyfriend. He came out of nowhere with his friend and approached me, asking for my number. And of course, I didn’t give away my number; but I did leave him with my Instagram. I thought it was just a game of truth and dare, so he came forward and asked.
Later that night, he sent a follow request, and I accepted. We didn’t talk at all. I only started talking to him after my breakup because I was desperate for a new boyfriend, to be exact, I wanted a rebound relationship. Shortly after, he asked me out for lunch and catch a movie together afterwards. Lunch was great, and he was such a gentleman, pulling the chair out for me to sit. I mean, who still does that in this century? We were strangers, yet he could start and continue the conversation like we’ve known each other for years.
He wasn’t afraid to tell me his past and share his views of the world. He was just a wonderful person to talk to. He shared with me how he used to be part of a gang outside of school. I appreciate someone like him who is so open and willing to share about their past. But what I did was deleting his number and left without a word after he asked me out for a cycling trip.
I Still Can’t Get Over My Ex
I couldn’t bear of using him as a rebound to help me heal from my past relationship. It isn’t right to use anybody for anything. I didn’t want to toy with his feelings, so I chose to leave silently.
I couldn’t help it, but my mind was full of my ex when we were window shopping in the mall. I was half-listening to whatever he said to me.
He doesn’t deserve to be a rebound of mine. No one should ever be treated as a rebound. I thought I wouldn’t hurt his feelings if I left, but by leaving without a word is even more hurtful than rejection.
He did a follow-up one week later, but I decided that I wasn’t ready to let someone new into my life then. It was best for us that I heal from my previous relationship than rushing into a new one.
I will never know how he felt at that point, and I’ll never have the chance again to apologize. He is out of my life, and I’m out of his. I don’t think he remembers me anyway; I’m just a passer-by in his life.
Ghosting Isn’t the Solution to Everything
Now looking back, it was foolish of me to choose to ghost. As an immature 15-year-old, I didn’t know what better option was there other than ghosting. Ghosting seems like the easiest way out, without explanation.
When I’m the ghost, it is easy to say it doesn’t hurt. All I had to do is to stay silent and poof, the problem magically dissolves.
It doesn’t work like this. Ghosting is not a solution to anything. The problem you face still exists; what you did is cover it up and pretend nothing happened. That was me two years ago, and even till now, I haven’t changed my ways.
It’s different when you’re the one being ghosted. It hurts. You don’t know what exactly is going on, and you don’t even know you why they ghosted you. Yet, people like me ghost out of convenience and to avoid confrontation we dread.
Little did you know that sometimes, standing out and telling the other party what you think does the trick and solve the issue.
Do It Now Or Never
In life, we don’t always get a second chance. More often than not, you’ve only got one chance.
For the past two years, I’ve been living with nothing but guilt. I wanted to finally send him a lengthy apology text and make things right again. I wanted to let him know I didn’t mean to disappear without a word. As a victim of ghosting, I know how it feels to wait on the other side with no response, yet I chose to do the same. Not everyone is comfortable sharing their past only to get ghosted from the other party.
If only I chose to apologize last year, I could have easily searched up his Instagram and send a DM over. Now, it’s as if he did the same thing to me, disappearing.
If you are struggling to fix relationships in your life, take action before it’s too late. This is not a “better late than never,” but rather a “do it now or never.” I don’t want you to live the rest of your life regretting and thinking about how you could have fixed things earlier, and go back to how life was.
Life is too short for us to hold grudges and destroy our relationships. Treasure the time you have left and do the things you didn’t dare to do.
