Every Time I Have To Discipline My Child…
Say a prayer for this pain.
“I said stop” I firmed my voice
“No?” She said. Or maybe asked? Her head was down on the tablet and she never looked at me.
“I said, shut down that tablet now. You need a break” This time, my voice was firmer than before
“No” Her voice sounded firmer too.
I paused.
And took a deep breath.
In my head- so many thoughts ran amok:
‘Let her be’
‘What’s the harm in her watching a cartoon for 2 straight hours?’
‘Take the time that she is distracted to watch a movie or be useful- write’.
‘Children are learning more on their screens these days- don’t mind the naysayer experts’
But, it wasn’t about any of the thoughts running through my head and I knew it. These thoughts were there because my subconscious knew one thing- I find my child too cute to discipline.
Awwwwwwwwww.
She so cute. She the cutest and barf!
The world would never find my child cute when she meets the world- an undisciplined adult. No friend will find my distracted, selfish child cute when she remains all about herself. No teacher will find my child cute when they struggle to keep her attention with anything that wasn’t shiny, moving or on a screen. No employer will let her get away with saying ‘NO!’, because I don’t feel like it.
I remind myself of this truth: I do not like saying No and watching my child cry. I do not like a world where I have to make her do what she should rather than what she wants. I would have preferred if these things came inbuilt and we just spent all of our days loving each other and enjoying each other’s company and- no crying.
The difference between letting my child do what she wants and letting her do what she should do is critical:
What she should do sets her up for a life of good habits, a life where she knows to do what is valuable FIRST before doing what is ‘sweet’ but unprofitable. A life where she can be useful to herself and to the world around her.
I remind myself that cute is forever when you are valuable to those in your life and even then, they will not call you cute because they aren’t your mama.
So this time, I don’t yell but I embody that famed mom-voice and speak again:
“Put down that tablet”
She raises her head and looks at me. The corner of her mouth twitches- the beginnings of a cry. I hold steady. Something in my eyes cautions her- I think…
We have seconds to get this dance right.
She hands over the tablet to me and sniffles.
I don’t blink.
This is a victory. A small victory but a critical victory- Hurray!
Thank you for reading. Do you have this discipline struggle with your child? In what ways do you discipline differently from your parents or mentors?
My name is Adaobi Okwy. Please turn on Email Notification for my next post. Also, Buy me coffee?
