Online Friends With Benefits Chat: How To Make It Work

Without a doubt, the internet has transformed the way that we date. In the past, we would need to physically meet someone to start a relationship with them. Today, though, we can begin a relationship without even having to leave the house. Thanks to the rise of online dating platforms, we can find it easy to meet someone and know a bit about them before we say hi!

Online dating profiles allow us to determine whether someone is the right ‘friend with benefits’ for us. Not everyone wants to get deep into a serious relationship with someone they met online; some of us just look for a bit of fun and companionship at the same time. All without being too attached or setting rules in place.

As you might have found, starting up a friends with benefits chat can be tough to maintain. How can you make this work? Use these tips to help you make those conversations more enjoyable and productive for both sides.

Avoid The ‘S’ Question

Many people fail regarding their friends with benefits escapades because they are simply too direct. If you want to make this work, you need to be a little smoother about how you initiate the FWB chat in the first place. You must find out if you get on with the person first. Otherwise, there is going to be less friendship and more sexual benefits. Who wants that?

Instead, try to build a conversation with the person that focuses on what you both like in life. Use their profile to your advantage: read about what they like to do and get a grip on their personality before you do anything else.

Only when it feels like you have gotten to know them personally, at least a little, should the discussion of sexual fun come up in conversation. Push this too fast, and you will likely leave people wondering what you want from this experience.

Pick The Right Place To Chat

Building on the above, where you speak to your chosen friends with benefits, is very important. You want to meet them on a platform that looks out for the people involved and offers at least some security. You can meet a ‘FWB’ in many places — but not many of them are great for lasting interactions. Instead of relying on speed-dating apps, look for friends with benefits dating platforms.

The best places to look are those friends with benefits dating sites, such as FWBDatingOnly.com, Tinder and AFF. Using a site built specifically for people looking for friends with benefits is very important, as it helps to avoid anyone getting the wrong idea and believing they are falling into something more serious in terms of a long-term commitment to one another.

Be Clear About What You Want

The last thing you want when trying to find someone who is keen to be friends with benefits is setting the wrong impression. Many people suffer from this as they come in without clarifying that what they want is just a bit of fun.

So, make it very clear from the offset that you are looking to meet cool people you can have fun with instead of focusing on a serious relationship. The clearer you are about this, the less chance there is of someone getting their feelings hurt.

Find An Amicable Meeting Place

If things are going smoothly and you have found your ideal friends with benefits, think about places you could meet. Your new FWB might not live as locally as you had hoped; instead of asking them to trudge through to you, find a happy medium.

Also, once a meeting place has been agreed upon, look for things you can do nearby that interest you both. Look for things they are likely to find fun to do but also things that match what you have spoken about. For example, you might have bonded over a love of a certain band; why not see if you can find gig tickets for that band in a somewhat nearby location?

Avoid Being Like The Other Half

When you start engaging with someone who is now your friend with benefits, it is easy to become attached to them. You care about them and want them to be happy; that is clear. They are your friends, after all. But it can be easy to stray into territory where you feel like you are being like a boyfriend/girlfriend.

If they tell you that they will go and do something, do not just assume they want your advice. Wait for them to ask. You are not here to tell them what to do. You are friends, but enjoy a very interesting relationship with some unique quirks. Avoid mundane conversations daily; consider how you interact with your other friends. You speak to them when something is worth saying.

Well, take the same process with your new friends with benefits. This will make it easier to feel like you are becoming overly attached.

Accept You Are Not Monogamous

In FWB relationship, both parties will likely be speaking to other people. If this happens, do not become hurt — friends with benefits, after all, means that you are there for each other as friends but enjoy each other in sexual ways. If they get with someone else and they want to stop this, you need to accept that. And if they become hurt that you are seeing someone else, things might have gotten too serious.

Again, try and set boundaries and be clear that you are not an item. In this same mood, avoid talking to one another about the other people you are dating or having relationship problems. It simply adds more confusion to the experience than is worthwhile.

Set Realistic Expectations

Look, it is rare for a friends with benefits chat arrangement to go on for too long. These relationships either fizzle out because you meet someone else, and it becomes serious, or someone oversteps the mark. You should set expectations for how long this will last and the likely end-game for your time together.

Check in with your friend occasionally to find out what they feel about the situation. Neither party should simply be getting involved in a relationship together because they feel they ‘have’ to — it should not become routine. When the fun stops, as they say, stop.

Remember the above tips for online Friends With Benefits chatting, and you should find it easier to prolong your FWB arrangement with the other person. From where you meet to the boundaries put in place, use the above to help you stay more grounded regarding how this relationship unfolds. Most importantly, have fun!