De Gustibus

Get Whitefish On Your Bagel

Nothing else will do.

What to Drink While Watching TV

This list is obviously incomplete. Tell me what I’m missing and we’ll all get drunk!

Cheap Iced Tea: The Only Good Drink

Prices, generally speaking are contentious subjects. People get very mad when prices go up. Uber…

Juju Hearts: True Love

Like your first kiss, Juju Hearts are unrepentantly mediocre. They are two-bite brownies of condensed high-fructose…

Balsamic Vinaigrette Is A Big Mistake

What else is there to say? B.V. made me think I hated salad for 15 years, until I WOKE UP and realized that the dressing my parents put on theirs was the entire problem: It’s just gross and poop-colored and too sweet and completely unsubtle and literally any other…

Xochitl tortilla chips are the worst

Xochitl-brand tortilla chips are self-evidently the worst tortilla chips good money can buy…

Tired of grain bowls? Pack a cup!

“Grain bowls” and “rice bowls” became very trendy in 2015. What’s the big deal? A grain bowl is just…

Pickles are The Bad Food

Look at this thing. Just look at it. This is a thing people claim is “good.” They seem to enjoy that sour, wet…

The Most Common Home Bartending Mistake

Ever made a Manhattan or martini at home and were all “Damn, why isn’t this as good as…