ADMIT IT, YOU’VE LIKED THE BAD GUY MORE THAN THE HERO
Why we like Movie Villains and what a struggling nice guy can learn from them to better his life
Girls like bad boys, and so does everyone else. There’s a reason
Have you ever watched a tv show or movie and found yourself liking the villain?
Like rooting for them because they walk into a room and carry a presence and magnetism?
His charisma, presence.
His creed and determination to get what he’s after? How he solves problems?
Wanted that level of drive and confidence in your romantic and professional life?
No need to be ashamed there’s a reason why. Well, several.
A key reason we tend to like villains & anti heroes (asides great acting) is because they are confident, assertive, decisive, unapologetic about their goals ambition.
They don’t coddle anyone and are precise in their speech
Dalton Russell(Inside Man), Loki(The Avengers) , Hannibal Lector(Silence of the Lambs), Hans Gruber(Die Hard), Hans Landa(Inglorious Basterds), Boyd Crowder(Justified), Thanos (Avengers: Infinity Wars), Bane(The Dark Knight Rises), Porter(Payback) Omar(The Wire),Michael Corleone(The Godfather)etc
They don’t walk on egg shells and overly concern themselves with how they are perceived or received.
They are here. Deal with it.
They are intelligent, well planned, they go after what they want unapologetically.
Even though we don’t agree with their goals or methods, we see something in them that we wish would could replicate in our life.
This is one of the reasons the narrator in FIGHT CLUB, created the alter ego of Tyler Durden.
“All the ways you wish you could be, that’s me. I look like you wanna look, I f*** like you wanna f***, I am smart, capable, and most importantly, I am free in all the ways that you are not”
We see them as villains.
They don’t see themselves that way and great actors who play the most memorable villains don’t see themselves that way.
The actors play the villain with a Main character syndrome/protagonist and who we the audience see as the protagonist, they see as the antagonist and the obstacle to their goals and ambitions.
“Bad Boys” share some of these traits in common.
It’s not that they are “bad”.
It’s that they don’t conform to the RomCom or Hallmark idea of how a man is meant to behave.
Unlike a “nice guy” or the guy trying hard to be a gentleman who is non offensive or boat rocker. The man who
Makes a woman the centre of his attention
Changes everything about himself to please her,
Agrees with her all the time despite having his own thoughts
Let’s bad or rude behaviour slide cos he wants to stay in her good books and score some brownie points or thinks its cute.
Continually agrees to do thing he doesn’t want to go, like a accessory dog in her handbag.
Panders to female positions and opinions on everything in an attempt to seem sensitive and not like other guys.
The “Bad boy” doesn’t put the woman he pursues on a pedestal and make his entire existence about pursuing her.
Let’s call the bad boy Chad(yeah yeah, i know)
1-Chad doesn’t dim himself to please people or get approval from a girl’s granny “oh he’s such a nice young man”.
While Chad isn’t rude. He is not overly concerned with being seen as “a real man” and a gentleman at the consistent expense of his convenience.
He’s not uncomfortable with the spotlight shining on him impromptu.
He doesn’t live in anxiety or indecision and goes after whatever they want, whether that’s a girl, a relationship, a business goal.
He knows what he wants, what he brings to the table and is willing to walk away when terms of agreement are at a disadvantage to him.
2-Chad has independent confidence which isn’t determined by the approval or acceptance of women, society or political correctness.
Think Simon Cowell and how he doesn’t tailor his opinion on the cuteness, sob story or if the audience will agree with him.
Simon isn’t rude. Society is used to pretending to spare people’s feelings.
While that is fine for personal and social cohesion, it’s a bad business move and for long term decisions.
TACT is important in how you speak with people. Master it.
Independent confidence is the major difference between the Chad and the nice guy Brad who is overly concerned with people please, political correctness and trying not to rock the boat to keep the peace.
“The Hardest Choices Require The Strongest Wills”- THANOS
3People pleasing is exhausting and unsustainable.
It brings disrespect and disregard.
There’s a reason Simon’s opinion was always the one that made the audience go silent the first seasons of American Idols.
If Simon liked your performance. Then it was based on talent, not political correctness or an attempt to spare feelings.
It meant more than Paula or Randy’s niceness.
4 They don’t virtue signal nor pander
Virtue signalling is defined at the act of publicly expressing opinions in order to demonstrate that you are a good person.
They are confident in their beliefs, convictions and drive. They don’t feel a need to say things to impress people or defend themselves when an opinion rubs people the wrong way.
This is not limited to “bad boys”. But anyone with values, convictions which don’t align with what’s popular.
They don’t play to the gallery.
There’s great line in Rick & Morty which crystalises not caring about what moves the masses and caring about their pushback and disapproval.
Your boos mean nothing. I’ve seen what makes your cheer-
Who else outside of badboys and villains can we learn this from?
Jesus the Christ had multiple occasions in this 3 years of ministry which rubbed people the wrong way.
So much that he escaped a few attempted lynchings, stoning(John 8:59) and at least one attempt to throw him off a cliff(Luke 4:29).
Apostle Paul who he hand picked stated his case on several occasions and received beatings, public lashings, several times thrown in jail and a stoning outside the city, which he survived and continued with the business of ministry.
They didn’t speak to tickle ears.
They didn’t tip toe around people’s feelings or lifestyle which were in opposition of what God sent them to teach.
Nor did they try to find a middle ground.
They took a stand, planted their feet and faced whatever backlash, resistance and hostility that came.
They didn’t back down and apologise despite threats from powerful people at all societal, religious and political levels.
Their position was not dependent on fickle human emotions.
That’s one of many reasons 2000+ years later we know their names and teachings but not that of those who tried to silence them into conformity and subservience.
HONOUR AMONGST THIEVES
Boyd Crowder(Justified) and Omar (The Wire) are criminals, they rob and sometimes kill people.
But they live by a code. There’s some level of honour about how they carry themselves and conduct their criminal activities .
Same can’t be said about many law abiding citizens. Whose only reason for being “good” is cowardice, fear and inability to successfully execute any crime profitably.
Carl Elias(Person of Interest) is a city mob boss, one of the most effective. But he also lived by a code. His word was his bond, once he gave it he did not go back on it.
He was also loyal to his friends and those in his circle. Threats and intimidation did not change it.
HipHop artist, Eminem in the song “Renegade” sang“…..never been afraid to say what’s on my mind, any given time or day….never been afraid to talk about anything
NOTE: There’s a time and place for TACT and DIPLOMACY and choosing SILENCE. Those are different from being afraid to speak in fear or disapproval.
Don’t indict, implicate yourself then complicate your life by speaking with no filter.
It’s a dangerous thing to mistake speaking without thought for speaking the truth. Don’t you think?- Benoit Blanc- Glass Onion
CONCLUSION
More good and responsible men need to be exhibit these traits guided by their moral compass.
Refuse to be manipulated by people’s selfish interests and attempt to manipulate their good nature.
Be pleasant to be around but don’t focusing on pleasing people.
People smell neediness and desperation. They don’t respect it and will take advantage of it.
Little children can smell it on a parent desperate to be the “cool Dad”.
Teen children are nauseated and embarrassed by a parent desperate to make an impression on their friends.
Cute girls smell it on a guy trying too hard to converse and impress them and it’s a turn off, even if he turns out to be a great guy.
The new neighbours/co-workers you are trying to make an impression on , cringe.
It comes off as spineless and some see it as fake, nobody likes that.
You don’t have to be a bad boy or a movie villain to exercise these traits.
You don’t have to be amoral.
Decide you’ll never negotiate or compromise character, integrity & dignity in order to win approval.
Make wise choices kiddo.
Till Next time
Your Uncle
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