Death Cafe

Thoughts about death and dying

If I Died Right Now: May 3, 2015


I’m in an Oakland apartment waiting for a coffee delivery. They would be chagrined that no one was answering the door. There are…

If I died right now: April 29, 2015


There are approximately twenty Starburst wrappers in a pile next to the bed, a few on my blanket, an empty turkey jerky package…

Faith At A Funeral

What relationship is more complex than the one with family — unless it’s the one with God? 

Assisted Suicide Comes to “Girls”

A subject considered too hot to handle for American TV finally gets an airing

Posibilidades de la muerte #1

“El loop”

“Mi vida entera pasó frente a mis ojos.” pertenece al acervo cultural colectivo como cliché de la experiencia cercana a la muerte.

¿Qué pasa si la tomamos como punto de partida metafórico de una posibilidad matemática?

Supongamos la existencia de uno mismo es un enunciado lógico, una especie de…

Too Late…

A visit to my dead grandma

I was having a blast at sleepaway camp when I was interrupted by the news. Oma Edith, my great-grandmother, had passed away. I was…

You are the Center of Someone’s Universe

Take care. Don’t get hit by a truck today.

I saw death this morning. Fresh and horrible.

Two Scoops

Talking to Kids About Death Is Harder Than I Thought

Last week Eva’s cousin T, who was seven months old, died in her sleep. Eva’s mom called to let me…

Of Endings and Enlightenment

Five years later, a silent retreat smashes the dam open

This hurts.

Teachings from a 15 year old ‘drug seeker’

What spending time with critically ill patients has taught me

I’m Alive

A few weeks ago, I was told by a friend that an acquaintance of ours, a 38 year old mother of three, had a serious recurrence of cancer, and that her prognosis wasn’t good. Beth, the woman who was dying, had been diagnosed with breast cancer at age 30, while she was pregnant with her third child. With treatment, she was able to be considered to be in remission for several years.


Day to Day Living With a Dying Person

What We Do

At 5:30pm, the caregiver leaves. If Mom is asleep, we eat dinner together at the table, keeping an eye on her through a video monitor. She has lately given over sundowning in favor of snoozing, which is a welcome change. As recently as last week either Claire or I would simply eat dinner in Mom…

Counting goodbyes

One, zero, two.

“My grandmother is sick.”

When I cry, every word comes out as either a whisper or a strangely-pitched yowl. I ought to carry around an index card with the words written down, to reduce the misunderstandings, the painful repetition. Don’t ask me to say it again.

The Struggle of Being Healthy

Life Next to Cancer

My father is dying, like all of us are, but he’s my father. His death is more important than anyone else’s. As a novice college student I enjoyed becoming an adult and the freedoms that come with it. However, all of that is easily shattered by the heart-wrenching diagnosis of Cholangiocarcinoma in my 50 year old father…

How My Mom’s Death Changed My Definition of Family

In my head, I’ve always placed my family into one category and my ancestors in another. My family members are my parents, my brother…

To Say Goodbye

a farewell to survivor’s guilt

The third anniversary of your death passed by without me even noticing, and I think I’m completely beyond my mourning, finally.
I remember that day- the phone call that came, the fall to my knees and the tears that flowed for what seemed like forever. Then to your funeral, the service you would’ve hated and the lies they…

Making Sense of Suicide

Remembering a Beautiful Life Lost Too Soon

Writing is therapy. It allows me to release my thoughts from my mind and turn it into something tangible; something that can be better understood. Some of those thoughts flow more freely than others and while it’s natural to write the fun or feel good stories, it’s the tough stuff that I choose to…

Death Cafe
Death Cafe

Thoughts about death and dying

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