Another kind of awareness

Questions to spark our curiosity

Empathy requires (at a minimum) two types of awareness: self-awareness and what I call ‘others-awareness.’ The former, and likely more familiar, is about emotional honesty and being real with the stories we tell ourselves. It’s knowing our biases and beliefs.

The latter — ‘others-awareness’ — stems from humility and curiosity. It’s intentionally setting aside our agenda, beliefs, and perspectives for a time so we can focus on truly understanding someone else. It’s a selfless act in search of connection (not trying to change the other person or get them to see your perspective).

Since cultivating an awareness of others is especially hard, I wanted to share a couple questions I’ve found useful when stuck thinking only of myself in a tough situation.

• How is the other person doing — as a human?
• What else might be going on in their life right now?
• How might this situation be impacting them — physically, emotionally, mentally?
• What might their needs and priorities be?