What’s the point of empathy?

Why our intent matters

“They’re never going to change their mind, so empathizing doesn’t matter.”

That statement might be true if we believe the only purpose of empathy is to change the other person. Approaching empathy with this motive will leave us frustrated and perhaps disillusioned.

That’s because the point of empathy is to build connection, not to change the other person.

Empathy gives us an opportunity to ‘try on’ their perspective and understand how they’re right and rational to think/act/talk the way they do. No matter how fierce the disagreement, connection is possible when we come from a place of curiosity instead of criticism.

[Side note: Did you notice the implication in the opening statement that the other person was wrong? What if there’s more to the story? What if our perspective is incomplete or inaccurate?]

Empathize to connect. Stay curious. We just might be the ones who change.