It’s Not an Aisle, It’s a Catwalk
Go bolder than the white wedding dress
For a brief period as a teenager we had cable TV and I found a channel called ‘Fashion TV’. It was 24 hours a day of models walking up and down catwalks, interspersed with footage of makeup being applied and models waiting backstage. It had an ASMR quality to it, well before the term had been coined. Watching the fabric flutter through the air to the rythmic beat of footsteps put me in pleasant trance. (And is there anything more relaxing than watching someone get their makeup applied? *sigh*)
I was a teenager with nothing better to do, so I probably ended up watching hundreds of hours of models on catwalks. I inadvertently developed an appreciation for the art of fashion. The volume, colour, and texture are pushed to experimental extremes. There’s a level of creativity in ‘high fashion’ that you don’t see walking down the street. Each ‘look’ is part of broader-themed collection that tells a story. The music, stage design, hair and makeup are chosen to create a particular feeling. When done effectively — it can be truly breath-taking.
But without an invite to model a fashion show or magazine photo shoot, when would a mere mortal like me ever get to wear something like this? Celebrities are able to choose a piece of haute couture to wear to premiers and award shows — but it’s not like we can turn up to our kid’s Christmas play in a feather skirt or attend our brother’s barbeque in a crystal mesh dress.
The closest we’ll ever get to a runway is walking down the aisle.
Before we go on, I have to admit I’m not the marrying type (as previously discussed), but I do love attending weddings. The food and drinks and dancefloor are fun, and I find the ceremonies super sweet. Perhaps one day you love-birds will melt my cold, cynical heart with your vows of devotion.
Side note: My partner is also disinclined to get married, but there is one aspect that we think is worthwhile — getting the two families together. We considered having a reverse-surprise wedding: telling everyone we were getting married so they’d make the effort to come (and wear fancy clothes), and then SURPRISE! We’re not really getting married, it’s just a normal party. Help yourself to the bar.
So, I’m unlikely to be a bride myself — but from the dozens of weddings I’ve attended, there seems to be a spectrum of approaches to wedding planning. It ranges from the very traditional at one end, to personal and individual at the other.
The traditional brides are the little girls who dreamt of a Princess Diana wedding: churches and tulle and 5 layers of wedding cake. I understand why a traditional bride wants to wear white. I back that choice if it makes them happy.
The other kind of wedding is the rooftop and cheese platter wedding. Or the beach-side cocktail wedding. Or the farmyard pizza-oven wedding. These weddings reflect the tastes of the couple, rather than traditions. If they’re already disposing of the church, the bridal party and the confetti, why are non-traditional brides still wearing white?
Ladies, this is your chance to wear a piece of art in real life. This is it. Your wedding is your red-carpet moment. Remember those incredible dresses the celebrities wear to openings and award nights — this is your one and only opportunity to wear one.
Wear red, wear green, wear a meadow of flowers. Hell, channel some real catwalk vibes and get your nipples out. Make a statement, show us who you are. Be proud of your individuality. You don’t have to wear white (or ivory, or champagne, or cream, or nude, or whatever else they’re calling white these days).
And while it’s become its own modern tradition, the white dress was originally a symbol of elitist wealth and Christian values, including that women are pure, modest and well-behaved. The white dress comes from a time when fathers ‘gave’ their daughters to their future husbands. A time when a women’s role in marriage was submissive.
Screw that. Why not use the wedding dress as a symbol that things have changed?
I think it’s time to show the world that a beautiful bride doesn’t have to be quiet and pure. They can be graceful and alluring and bold and strong.
If you enjoyed this, check out more of my (free) Medium articles here: A little bit about me and my writing
For more of the good stuff, follow Fourth Wave, where we’re changing the world for the better, one story at a time. Got one of your own? Submit to the Wave!
