Grand Masquerade

I wish I could write the stories that I needed to hear.

I wish I could write better
not in a woe is me sort of way
But because I wish I was able to see myself in ink
To see the boy who felt lost in a crowd
To know that at least I existed in fiction.

2018

I leave you lighter 
pieces of me will stay with you
stress and pain, stomach and lung
anxieties of tomorrows and panics over yesterdays

You acted as a spotlight
I had to adjust my course and avoid the cliffs
Made clear…

I keep myself in my pocket, would you like to see?

-

“I have spread my dreams at your feet;

 Tread softly because you tread on my dreams”

We are our dreams

I remember my mother telling me stories 
 of those who rose above 
 saw themselves as eagles and left the flock of crows
 unburied themselves from life’s burdens 
 telling me to be great you must study the great 
 walk and talk as they did 
 Surround yourself with those who do what you want to do
 History tells you how
 You need just the patience to…

To the refugees:

I am sorry
I am sorry your journey has seemed for not
That the stories of a dream, of people free and brave 
have been unveiled to be myth. 
I am sorry on behalf of a country that won’t say it. 
I am sorry you are told to be grateful that is better here than there. 
I am sorry there are those that demand…

I find it strange. 
How much we forget history, even though it is taken at every grade until graduation. 
I find it strange what history is taught and what is not. 
We blame schools for most of our short comings. 
“I was not taught how to…
manage money
find a passion
balance a check book
start a buissness
meditate
be happy.” 
That was not its job…

There is a part of me
A small part with a loud voice. 
The claims I don’t belong. 
Not in the way that traps me in bed. 
Rather the kind that wants to be in a hotel
or a hostel
or a tent
or a bed of my car.

Gold flowed, not to be corroded
a glint could never equal a soul, for a soul can’t be molded.

But you try
Put your soul in a box and label it Pandora’s.
Cover it up with chains, watches, cars, and shoes
No wonder you see the box shaking.

We are starved
Eaten everything down to the bone but our faces are still sunken in. 
It has been years of progress and utility
Making sure you can get a job, pay the bills. 
A path was created:
School
Job
Marriage
Family
Retire
Die. 
Living and living well, two ideas 
Separate but Equal.