Why Did My Wife Need Two Men?
My wife cheated me 8 years back. And I understood why modern women might need two men for a satisfying life.
I have already written about my personal life & marriage here.
My wife cheated me and it took couple of years before I forgive her and peace sets in.
I did lot of introspection in these years. These introspections are not to find excuse for her cheating. No way !
But I felt there are enough scope of self improvement.
When I look at myself deeply, I strongly feel we men are really crazy.
Why ?
Men are so obsessed about doing great things that we become so mediocre end of the day.
I am not kidding.
I will explain my point of view later. But before that let’s focus on history.
Civilization made men resourceful but vulnerable over a period of time.
Thousands of years back, the society was very basic.
But it was much more brutal in every way.
Safety and security was a big concern for individuals.
In those difficult times, if you look closely you can find few men who were really powerful than the rest.
They were the head of the clan or someone who aspire to be a leader in their tribe.
These leaders or heads had the best resources in the clan.
They ate best of the foods, got clean water to bathe and drink. Definitely they had better standard of living.
If you dig down further, you will notice most of these men had great health.
They were good at hunting, self-defense and handling weapons.
No doubt they were the best protector of their families.
If you want to find out the reason behind their success, you will primarily get two answers.
These leaders had courage and they were physically stronger than rest of their followers.
Their courage and strength helped them to kick out other contenders to rise to the top.
As a leader they got honor and best resources to command their group.
These men had multiple female partners, just not because they were strong and resourceful.
The females were also attracted because those men were good protectors. And life at those time were difficult & uncertain.
So, eventually every successful men at that time had few things in common.
They were strong, powerful, courageous and resourceful.
Coming back to the present time, how the successful men look like ?
Today’s successful men are not different than the past.
The most important similarity is — today’s successful men have quite a lot of resources.
In present society success mostly means purchasing power and intellectuality.
These are important factors to stand out as a potential high value partner in the eyes of women but…
But there is one thing missing.
And that is power and strength. The ancient men who led the society were physically powerful.
In today’s tech savvy world, gathering resources doesn’t require physical strength, courage or other so called manly traditional activities.
Intelligence and hard work is enough for you as a man to gather resources and enjoy a quality lifestyle.
You will attract adult women looking for high quality mating partners but there is a innate desire of a female psyche which most men don’t satisfy.
This natural desire is having kids with good genes.
Good genes are just not about intellect. Yes, intellect is important, as that will help you to get lot of resources.
But beyond that a strong physique is necessary.
Why ?
From many thousands of years men were gathering resources and protecting their clans by strength & courage. It is in our psychology to consider a powerful masculine man with resources the ultimate leader in the society.
Women in modern civilized society doesn’t get a chance to meet such strong successful males often.
In today’s world social success is not coupled with strength anymore.
But in the subconscious mind the females look out for that strong successful guy, which most of us are not. [ Check the resources section at the end ]
It creates a dilemma in the female subconscious mind, whether to mate with a successful provider ( intelligent & resourceful mate) or go for a strong bad ass guy who can go to any level to protect her and family.
Please don’t blame the women. It’s difficult to ignore your natural instinct which is ingrained for many thousand years.
As an evolutionary outcome, modern women need two types of men to support their inner needs because modern men generally do not exhibit both traits.
Remember in today’s world a strong masculine man with intelligence is a girl’s delight.
Coming back to my original point from where I started.
Modern men are so obsessed about doing great things to get social success, that they are unaware that women are human ( Animal ?? ) too.
Girls also love to look at a guy with strong physique and manly qualities.
So, next time don’t complain about not getting enough attention from the fairer sex.
Leave your desk.
Go to the ground.
Run every day.
Lift weights.
Go to unknown trails for a bike ride.
Be mysterious. Be stronger.
BE A MAN….
P.s. — My wife cheated me 8 years back but we stayed together. In course of time I felt that one of the reason for her betrayal was this “Two Men Dilemma”. Again I am not rationalizing what she did.
But still I would say…
Don’t put your wife or girlfriend in this two men dilemma. Be a complete man to get the respect you deserve in your relationship.
In my next post I will share about for whom my wife fall for and how their relationship started ?
Useful references for further study -
Royal Society Publishing - https://royalsocietypublishing.org/doi/10.1098/rspb.2017.1819
Psychology Today - https://www.psychologytoday.com/us/blog/after-service/201907/5-reasons-both-women-and-men-care-about-big-muscles
Nature - https://www.nature.com/articles/s41598-019-39350-8
Sage Journals - https://journals.sagepub.com/doi/full/10.1177/14747049211032351
NCB - https://www.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/pmc/articles/PMC5745404/
University of North Florida - https://digitalcommons.unf.edu/cgi/viewcontent.cgi?article=1477&context=etd
CBS News - https://www.cbsnews.com/news/women-may-prefer-masculine-men-for-a-fling-but-only-when-they-are-ovulating/
