Back to Romania: 3 months in
When I decided to return to Romania I googled stories of others who had returned and I only found a few. Now that I’m here I’m keen to share the process of returning through Home in Dialogue collating what myself and others are learning.
I found this diagram whilst still in the UK. As with any emotion-based timeline, my experience hasn’t been clear cut but this framing has helped me reflect on how I feel right now: the honeymoon stage has definitely passed and I’m oscillating between avoidance and anger at all the things that are different/worse than in the UK, from public to private life.
I’ve put off writing this post because it feels hard to articulate all that has happened in the last 3 months. I will use my friend, Lauren’s (Redjotter) method when writing about difficult topics, by writing it as a list:
- I’ve met fantastic people doing vital work to improve life in Romania and nearby:
Diana Buluga of Create.Act.Enjoy — a theatre company who runs art therapy programmes in hospitals across the country
Ciprian Cucu of Forum Apulum — an ONG bolstering civic consciousness through supporting youth to become active and politically-engaged citizens
Iulia & Elias of Glia Queer — building a community centre for the queer community in Cluj, Romania
Eszter Bircsak of Holis — growing a community for learners that tackle social challenges across Europe. Applications are open!
Deea & Timea of Identity Education — strengthening the LGBTQIA+ community and organising the first Pride event in Timișoara this summer.
2. I found community in reaching out to others interested in returning:
Anca Doczi, Immersive Theatre — read about her PhD about the Romanian memory of pain in communism and its influence on migration.
Dana Olărescu, There There — read about her performance company’s work focused on Eastern European identity and their recent project: ‘The Romanians are Coming back’.
Naomi Dudas — read her essay on returning to Romania after being born and raised in the US, the barriers she encountered on her way back.
3. I feel extremely grateful to have the support of my family, despite our difference in perspective about being back in Romania.
4. I feel absolutely blessed to have the support of my friends in the UK and my community of peers I gained from taking part in Enrol Yourself’s Learning Marathon (applications are open!), all of whom have showered me with postcards and letters!
5. I’ve travelled back to my hometown, Deva and walked along the roads I used to walk as a child and teen. Thank you for Point Coeur’s volunteers who ‘held’ this space with me.
6. I’ve travelled to three of the main Romanian cities of the West, getting used to public transport and walking alone at night. So grateful to those who kindly hosted me and showed me around Timișoara, Oradea and Cluj.
7. I’ve seen my parents’ garden bloom and their care in nourishing their plants and trees. Watching the stars and moon more often.
8. I’ve played Scrabble with mom most days reconnecting to Romanian words, and yet, I still mistake English words for Romanian ones. What?!
9. My next travels will take me to: Sibiu, Sighișoara, Brașov and București. All of this together with my good friend, Anne from Scotland:
10. Emotional growth-wise, there’d be a bucketload to say. Here’s a snippet:
- with every word, song, toy, moment, experience I remember from my years lived in Romania I feel like I am being coloured in
- being back allows me to understand what Romania means to me, not as a nationalist, but as someone used to be told they need to flee home to be ok
- it’s extremely hard to be far from my friends in the UK, but for now I need to listen to what this heart has to say.
I love hearing from others who have returned. Get in touch on email at roxanabacian@gmail.com or share your story directly through this link. Follow Home in Dialogue on Instagram and Twitter to read other stories.
