Pondering my Thinking and Feeling Mind At 90
Mind is not the brain, it bridges Inner Spiritual and Outer Physical
I loved learning and understanding my inner spiritual self in the 1980s, at 50, after selling my design and manufacturing business. In the 1990s I went back to the outer world with engineering design grants, seminars and over 200 papers. At the turn of 21st century I wrote some books, and taught fashion design and pattern engineering at schools and colleges, and to many proteges. At 90, I could no longer go out to the world and do things.
I began writing on Medium.com, and found my community. There’s a sense of teaching in my stories, by using life experiences. I see problems in the world, especially in the fashion and tech industries which I had worked in, and wanted to write about solving them using past experiences, or ideas I created.
With many followers I read their stories, and responded. Slowly, there seemed less of the large quantity I was reading that resonated. However, there are a few that communicate and inspire me, but I was getting lonely for community again, especially since I have no community in physical life.
Tobias, Knowledge Collective, wrote: ”This solitude is a crucial part of the awakening process, allowing you to get in touch with your authentic self and soul’s purpose.” I thought I was in touch with myself after my spiritual awakening in 1975, and went back out to the world to find out more about spirituality. But it was not so much to my inner self and mind.
Something came to me (Intuition, Universe, Higher Spirit?) that said get back to reading your own stories.
A story I wrote 3 years ago that shows my searching for understanding,
A story I did last year shows work on balancing Inner & Outer and Feeling & Thinking.
Back to pondering my mind, I discovered how deeply embedded the outside reality is in my mind. I love Humanity and wanted to write about the bad events we see in the world today. Then I recalled the Serenity Prayer, “Lord grant me the serenity to accept the things I cannot change; the courage to change the things I can; and the wisdom to know the difference.”
This morning Emy Knazovic sent me an email to say she added my story to her list of “Writer Who Inspire Me” It is always thrilling to hear that a story inspires others.
Searching for Purpose for the Rest of My Life
I wrote: “Writing in Medium.Com helps to answer quests, and maybe my struggles might help others. Today, , I woke up determined to find some positivity in reading the newspaper, emails, and online stories. It is so difficult because the whole world has gone crazy with wars and hatred everywhere, and most are writing and complaining in negative articles. I cannot read these things! So, I meditated.”
It seems my own stories tell me about my mind when I look back and read them again. I need to love my mind and myself, as well as others, and balance my spiritual with outer reality, while I am alive.
I never realized how hard it is to stay with thinking about the present, and not get caught in the news stories and bad events of the day.
Thank you for reading. Love and best wishes to all.
