The Hardest Truth Of Childhood Trauma
It’s Not Your Fault, But It Is Your Responsibility To Get Better
As a young child I was sexually assaulted. My memories of the event are not perfect, but I know for certain that something very bad happened.
It was in my father’s house. He was an addict and a dealer, and as such we had a regular procession of addicts popping by to score. It was my job to entertain them whilst my father ‘got the stuff’.
Most were merely scary in their volatility and cravings, yet some were truly dangerous. It was at the hands of one or more of these people that I was victimised. I ended up moving out of home at 15, and have been dealing with the mental health ramifications ever since.
I have been very angry at a lot of people from my childhood for a lot of the time. I blamed them for not keeping me safe, for continually exposing me to such dangers, for hurting me and for not believing what I told them.
This anger felt natural. It sure came easy, and it is not like I was wrong to feel this way. I was a child, and the adults in the situation let me down.
The problem with anger is that it does nothing to heal you. It perpetuates itself. It festers, mutates and grows out of control. I turned on myself. I began attacking…
