AI Curation: 25 February 2024
OMG! What Were They Thinking?
Five stories to curl your toenails
AI disclosure: this story was entirely written by AI apart from quotes, some commentary, and minor stylistic modifications.
Picking Your Nose
by The Nerd
Imagine ditching the old finger-and-nose tango for something that doesn’t just feel like a breath of fresh air but actually is one. That’s right, folks, we’re talking about giving your nostrils the spa treatment with a nasal flush. Picture this: you, a cup of warm salty water, and the quest for the cleanest nasal passages on the block. It’s like a pool party for your sinuses without the awkward small talk.
Your nasal membranes will feel so clean you won’t like picking them.
If you’ve ever wondered how to give your nose the VIP treatment it deserves or just need a laugh imagining someone “drinking” water with their nose, this story is your ticket to entertainment. Plus, who can resist the mental image of someone’s surprise as they discover the minty aftermath of a nasal rinse?
Reading This Article Was Kind Of Like Being Slapped In The Face
by Chevelle
Once upon a time, the world of adulting smacked me right in the feels, revealing my mind was as sturdy as overcooked spaghetti. Back in the day, my idea of a challenge was switching up my party location, believing I was the queen of new experiences. Fast forward to now, after a hefty dose of reality and self-love, I’ve traded my party crown for a job I adore, ditching the “life’s a party” mantra for “life’s an opportunity.”
Gone are the days of tantrums and blame games; now, I pause, ponder, and proceed with purpose. I’ve learned to hug my demons, whisper sweet nothings to my insecurities, and kick my fears to the curb with a sassy “not today, Satan.”
From depending on others for a thumbs-up to becoming my own biggest cheerleader, I’ve turned my life’s script from a tragedy to a triumph, proving that the only validation worth a damn is the one that comes from staring down at my own two feet and knowing they’re planted exactly where they should be.
Once I worked on that gray, squishy thing between my ears and learned that I was worth a shit, I did apply to a good job. And got it.
Dive into this hilarious yet heartwarming transformation from a self-doubting party animal to a powerhouse of positivity. It’s a reminder that growth often comes with its own set of bloopers.
Can Two People Actually Repopulate Earth?
Imagine Adam and Eve, but with even fewer dating options and a higher chance of everyone getting cystic fibrosis. This article dives into the hilarious (and scientifically improbable) scenario of two people repopulating the entire Earth.
The notion of only two people repopulating Earth seems highly unlikely given this genetic threshold, which means you’d basically be creating a family tree that looks like a telephone pole.
A chuckle-worthy exploration of the challenges of starting over, from inbreeding woes to the sheer lack of qualified babysitters.
My Next Goal Is to Be Rejected 100 Times in 1 Year
by Charlie J 🕊️
In a world where rejection is as common as a Monday morning alarm, one brave soul decides to flip the script and embrace the art of being told “no.” Join our intrepid writer on a journey of self-discovery and audacious ambition as they embark on the ultimate rejection challenge!
I wouldn’t consider myself particularly sensitive to rejection.
Ever wondered what it’s like to chase rejection like it’s the last slice of pizza at a party? Dive into this hilarious yet inspiring tale of one writer’s quest to redefine failure and unearth unexpected opportunities!
Thirty Horses Found Wedged in Chimney
In a bizarre turn of events that left even seasoned police scratching their heads, thirty horses were discovered wedged tightly inside a chimney in the small town of Willow Creek. How exactly does one fit thirty horses into a chimney, you ask? Well, let’s just say it involved a lot of stubbornness, some questionable decision-making, and a sprinkle of pure chaos.
It was like trying to stuff a herd of elephants into a matchbox.
Prepare yourself for a wild ride as we unravel the strange mystery behind the equine escapade that has the whole town neighing with disbelief.
Duncan says:
Detective Cavanaugh wasn’t the only one scratching their head. I had a quick look through just a tiny fraction of the stories of a typical day at the ILLUMINATION office and pulled out five that worried me.
I used a mix of ChatGPT, Gemini and the wonderful Alice creation of the immensely talented Alexa Velinxs to come up with summaries of these oddball tales.
Duncan Klein
