4 Tips For Surviving Costco On A Weekend
It takes a lot more than fancy flying.
My mom spent many Sundays throughout my childhood at the church of Costco singing from the Kirkland Signature hymnal.
Costco is in my blood [though, I’m sure it didn’t show up on my ancestry.com results].
I hear the cries of my peers complaining about Costco being insane on a weekend. “The parking!” “The crowds!” “The insanity!” “The humanity!”
In fact, about four or five years ago my wife declared she would no longer be going to Costco.
I was pumped about this development in our marriage. I love Costco. But, it did occur to me that I might be in the minority with this opinion.
I get butterflies of excitement when our two pound bag of Kirkland Signature House Blend coffee is a little light or our 25 pound bag of all-purpose flour is finally made into its last pizza.
I can’t wait to make my every-other-week pilgrimage to the happiest [best price per unit] place on Earth.
So with that being said, I thought I would share my secrets to a fun, stress-free weekend Costco trip.
4 Tips On Surviving Costco On A Weekend
Tip #1: Don’t fight the parking lot.
This sets the tone for the entire experience. I totally understand the reluctance and sheer terror of battling the insanity of the Costco parking lot.
My Solution: I choose not to participate.
I know every Costco is a little different but at the Livermore Costco there is street parking behind the lot. It is roughly a 200 meter walk and the carts carry all your loot for you. Avoid the crowds and crazy drivers and take a slightly longer walk to peace and serenity.
If you don’t have nearby street parking, go to the absolute back of the lot. It only takes 30 additional seconds. A small price to pay for your sanity.
Tip #2: Go at lunch time and treat yo’ self.
No one wants to shop hungry.
That is how you end up with the Kirkland Signature 72-pound wheel of Parmigiano Reggiano cheese.
Don’t make that mistake, the Costco food court is there for you. Grab a hot dog or slice of pizza. They are basically giving it away.
If you don’t have the tastes of a 12 year-old, like me, Costco now offers Açaí bowls and fancy salads with chicken or al pastor. I’ve tried both and they are top notch.
Start your shopping trip at the food court and thank me later.
Tip #3: Curl up with a good podcast.
I get legitimately excited to listen to a good podcast that I saved specifically for my Costco trips. You get an uninterrupted stretch of listening bliss.
Often, I’ll save an especially tasty Rewatchables, or, if I want to be depressed by politics, I go with The Weeds or Pod Save America. Occasionally, I happily accept a dose of inspiration from Tim Ferriss or get my running fix with The Morning Shakeout or Billy Yang. Last Saturday, I was accompanied by the Bill Simmons podcast for his Friday football picks and general tomfoolery.
The bottom line is, you don’t mind waiting for a sample or getting bumped by another cart when your ear buds are full of fun.
Tip #4: Always get something not on your shopping list.
You need a list at Costco.
I would never advocate otherwise; it is suicide.
BUT, knowing you’re going off-list for an item or two keeps you engaged as you wander the aisles trying to figure out where they moved the unsalted butter.
God only knows what goodness Kirkland Signature is cooking up this week.
This week, I browsed the beer section and snagged some Firestone Lager that I hadn’t tried before. Other times, I’ll get a weird flavor of beef jerky or a dozen aidells chicken and apple sausages, even if we have some in the freezer. You never want to run out of those bad boys.
The point is, this is your Saturday, too. It isn’t all business.
Final Thoughts
Expect crowds and don’t stress about the long lines or getting bumped out of the way for an exotic hummus sample.
Everyone is just chasing that same Costco high. You can’t be mad at it.
Just throw in your earbuds and enjoy your pod with a full belly and a something unexpected ending up in your cart at the end of the trip.
Happiness = reality - expectations. Act accordingly.
God speed.
