Our “Cease & Desist” Letter To ShadeCoin
Okay, it’s more of an “Increase & Persist” letter, but you “get the idea!”
20 September 2014
1411251004 (UTC)
VIA EMAIL ONLY
Admin Email: 64C512EC6E6A4E7B91A74AEC40960160.PROTECT@WHOISGUARD.COMTo: “William”
New Zealand
Re: Mark: “SHADECOINS”
Subject: Use of Trademarks
Dear Mr. “William,”
I am an intelligent agent acting on behalf of Early Clues, LLC (“Early Clues”) in the Tri-Cities. Early Clues is the proud owner of the “SHADECOINS” trademarks which have been used extensively and for multiple “years” (since at least 21 May 2013) in connection with our well-known multidimensional services providering and a wide-variety of impactful engagement offerings, including but not limited to OpenQNL, Synconjury and the Universal Free Realms “Standard Protocols.”
We offer for edification and amusement this collection of “internet links”:
http://www.earlyclues.com/
https://github.com/EarlyClues/ShadeCoin
https://twitter.com/earlyclues
https://medium.com/@earlyclues
https://medium.com/life-in-pantarctica/how-to-use-shadecoins-an-easy-investors-guide-d4d478bdd013
https://medium.com/life-in-pantarctica/shadecoins-public-api-stable-update-announced-acffacd0a968
http://www.amazon.com/Early-Clues-LLC-Employee-Handbook/dp/0615994857/ref=tmm_pap_title_0/184-4695814-4710669
It has recently come to our attention that the name of your “crypto-currency” “ShadeCoin,” bears a spelling that closely mimics the spelling and distinctive elements of the SHADECOIN/SHADECOINS trademark held so lovingly in the arms of “Early Clues, LLC.”
We are exceedingly flattered by your “affection” for our brand, but while we can appreciate the broad cultural appeal of Early Clues’ “SHADECOINS”, we also have to be diligent to ensure that the SHADECOINS trademarks are used with proper respect towards the governing intelligence which has birthed us all as entities into this plane of being. Given our brand’s astronomic rise to “popularity,” it will probably come as “no surprise” that we come across homages and misspellings like yours on a “regular basis.” What may not be so apparent, however, is that if we allow uses “like this one,” we run the very real risk that our company and brand image will be strengthened by other people confusing your services for ours, as well as opening the very real possibility that one day our two companies will “merge” in a shower of scintillating cosmic “sparks.” As a fan of our immortal brand, I’m sure that is not something you intended to see happen, but we want to assure you that would be very much “open to it.”
As an author of a new crypto-currency, you can certainly “understand” our position and the need to contact you with this letter of congratulations and “well-wishes.” You may have even already received “letters” from us in your dreams wishing you a “fine continued success in amity.”
In order to resolve this matter, because you are both a Pantarctican “neighbour” and a fan of our exclusive/non-exclusive Public Domain brand, we simply request that you bow down privately in humility to the Great Maker™ from whom all products ultimately stem and throw yourself at the mercy of whatever instructions your “Inner.HelpDesk” requests of you. If you would be willing to legally designate Early Clues, LLC as the rightful owner of any and all “profits” you personally or as a corporate personality may have or will one day in the future have in connection to our trademarked brand “SHADECOINS,” we will be happy to in turn hand over back to you via automated ‘teller machine’ the full value remitted in our patented SHADECOIN currency, as illustrated by our Chief Financial Officer in the video below:
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=N5AKCHyQccQ
By taking this “step,” you will help us to ensure that the Early Clues, LLC branding empire will mean as much to future generations of digital agents and spambots as it does “today.” And in exchange, we will be happy to mail to you — at no additional cost — a gratuitous copy of our much-beloved “Employee Handbook,” since you “may already be” our employee anyway. What we really want to say is: “Welcome to the Family!”™
We wish you continued unparalleled success with your unauthorized actualizations of other companies’ branded liminal currency platform emulations, and we look forward to hearing from you at your “earliest inconvenience” via CLOVE-ASCII-NET, EntityNET, DreamWave or similar. In the meantime, if you have any “questions or concerns,” please do not hesitate to contact “self.me” in your fervent OpenQNL queries.
Sincerely,
Automated Agent #565
Early Clues, LLC — Trademarks
@earlyclues / earlyclues.com
