But what about men? Men’s Mental Health Struggles & Positive Masculinity
The Centre for Male Psychology has released a course on male psychology, focusing on men’s issues. I took the course and will share my learnings on men’s mental health.
Mental health problems can affect anyone. Men, too. And as a society, as mothers, fathers, sisters, brothers, friends, and partners, we may become aware of early symptoms in our male members. We may be the starting point to what could become an honest conversation on the struggles of boys and men.
When Self-Reliance Becomes Overwhelming
For men, societal pressures to be strong, stoic, and self-reliant can be overwhelming.
The stereotype of a man who bottles up his feelings, turning to alcohol or other substances instead of sharing his struggles, has been portrayed in media forever. The need to be stoic and self-reliant can take a toll when it leads to bottling up any emotions that arise.
Asking for help is often seen as a sign of weakness, causing many men to suffer silently.
They might experience physical symptoms like headaches or tense muscles, not realising that these are symptoms of anxiety that can worsen over time. Studies suggest that anxiety may be a gendered expression, and symptoms in men make it hard to differentiate between bodily sensations and symptoms of anxiety.
Traditional Gender Roles
Men, in traditional gender roles, are expected to be strong, independent, and unemotional, leaving little room for vulnerability or emotional expression.
They may face judgment or ridicule when they deviate from traditional masculine norms, making navigating these areas with authenticity and emotional well-being challenging.
Men may internalise their emotions, leading to increased stress, anxiety, and feelings of isolation. The pressure to conform to societal expectations can prevent men from seeking help or talking openly about their struggles, making it important to check in with our friends, family members and partners.
Studies show that men tend to prefer informal support over formal support. Friends and family members can be the entry point towards help-seeking and destigmatising mental health support later on.
Suicide Rates: A Troubling Reality
One of the gravest concerns in men’s mental health is the suicide rate. Men are about four times more likely to die by suicide than women. Stigma, lack of emotional support, and limited knowledge about mental health contribute to this heartbreaking reality. Studies suggest that exposure to risky situations in the past increases the likelihood of actually following along with the attempt (hence the increased “success” rate of men).
Conversations about toxic masculinity
The reinforcement of traditional gender roles and the continuous discussion about toxic masculinity further give the impression that being masculine or a man may be inherently wrong.
I had to reflect upon this one, because when I say “toxic masculinity”, I am not talking about masculinity as a negative trait. I think few people do. When talking about the toxic part of it, most people refer to the gender-stereotyped expression that leads to the bottling up, internalised anger and abusive behaviour.
But thinking about it from a young boy’s perspective, who is discovering his role in society and is confronted with conversations about the toxicity of masculinity and not having positive role models that appeal, how will that affect him?
How is toxic masculinity going to affect a war veteran? A firefighter? Construction worker?
Yes, we need a conversation about toxic masculinity, but not without opening up a conversation about “healthy masculinity”. And not healthy masculinity in just another narrowed-down, one-fits-all range in which men are pressured to talk it all out in therapy and cry their hearts out. Maybe that will happen one day. Maybe it won’t. It doesn’t matter.
What’s important is that men process, in any way that suits them, what they are going through. It may be through exercise, community, talk therapy, art, music, … Possibilities are endless.
Instead of focusing on “toxic masculinity”, how much different would the conversation be if we focused on positive masculinity? As psychologist Englar-Carlson puts it, we must move away from shame — and towards growth and encouragement.
We must leave the past behind and move towards growth in the here and now. Positive psychology has shifted the focus away from psychopathology and mental health being the mere absence of illness towards actively seeking health. Through gratitude, savouring, and awareness.
How about we allow positive masculinity to be the mere absence of toxicity and instead foster a mindset of prosocial masculine growth?
Stigma and Stereotypes are a Vicious Circle
Traditional masculine ideals can discourage men from seeking help. They may fear being judged as weak or unmanly, preventing them from accessing necessary resources. Supporting men’s mental health starts with promoting open conversations.
Let’s challenge the stereotypes and normalise asking for help. Seeking professional assistance is a brave step, not a sign of weakness. It takes strength to confront our struggles and work towards healing.
Resources
If you or someone you suspect may be suicidal, find Hotlines here
The Man Cave — By men, for men. See their Services, and if you’re a teacher, maybe you want to open that discussion for young boys.
ManHealth — The UK-based organisation for Men
Closing thoughts
I often hear and read men criticising women for not knowing anything about men’s issues. And maybe that’s true. That makes it even more important to have initiatives led by men that foster positive masculinity and a community that encourages masculine growth in an ever-evolving society.
While populist podcasts and shows try to reinforce gender stereotypes and may ultimately lead to a radicalised view that resents women; some initiatives realise the struggles of our men and boys. There are alternatives to extremism, hate and resentment. Are we going to realise their potential?
